Indiscriminate
How to Handle Four-Way Stops
07/22/09 09:12 PM
Four-way stops, which
should be a very simple concept and brief encounter
to a vehicle operator, appear to be a maneuver of
deadly precision, one that should be approached
cautiously and with great hesitation. At least,
that’s the impression I get from the majority of
American drivers. Some have gone as far as to call
the four-way stop the “Driver’s IQ Test.” If that
truly is the case, the most drivers are complete
idiots since they fail four-way stop miserably.
The four-way stop seems to a thing of endless complexity and great fear even among experienced drivers. Daily I cringe when approaching a four-way stop only to be cutoff when it’s clearly my turn, or worse, allowed to go when it is obviously not my turn. In hopes that the entirety of America will read this blog post, adhere to it, and grant me my sanity again when driving, I’ve compiled a list of the (very simple, mind you) concepts and complications present at a four-way stop. Mikey, this one’s for you!
That just about does it, I’d say. The thing to realize is that four-way stops are ridiculously simple, so simple, in fact, that most people over think them. This, of course, leads to complications as listed above, which proper drivers like yourself and me then have to remember when approaching a four-way stop. It is important to realize that, no matter how well you know how to follow the rules of a four-way stop, the oblivious woman across from you may not have a clue what she’s doing, and the cell phone and hair straightener she’s holding certainly aren’t helping her concentration at all.
At a four-way stop, follow the rules, look out for Number 1 (don’t be polite), and, most importantly, be observant! Maybe someday this country will figure out how to keep their cool when pulling up to a stop sign.
The four-way stop seems to a thing of endless complexity and great fear even among experienced drivers. Daily I cringe when approaching a four-way stop only to be cutoff when it’s clearly my turn, or worse, allowed to go when it is obviously not my turn. In hopes that the entirety of America will read this blog post, adhere to it, and grant me my sanity again when driving, I’ve compiled a list of the (very simple, mind you) concepts and complications present at a four-way stop. Mikey, this one’s for you!
How to Handle Four-Way Stops: The Dummies Guide
The simplicity of the four-way stop can easily be shown in these few key concepts.- A four-way stop is any intersection with a stop sign in each direction, a flashing red light in each direction, or a broken traffic light should be treated as a four-way stop normally would.
- Four-way stops are usually (but not always) labeled as such, having a rectangular sign below the octagonal shape which reads something to the effect of, “4-Way Stop,” “Four-Way Stop,” or “All-Way Stop.”
- Each driver arriving at a four-way stop must first come to a stop, then one driver proceeds at a time.
- If turning, as you approach a four-way stop engage your turn signal about one hundred feet prior to reaching the stop sign. The four-way stop is one of the most crucial places for using your turn signal compared to almost any other driving situation.
- Four-way stops always operate in a clockwise direction.
- If multiple cars approach a four-way stop at about the same time, the driver who comes to a complete stop first proceeds first.
- If two or more cars arrive at a four-way stop simultaneously, the driver furthest to the right always proceeds first, and each next driver in the clockwise direction follows.
- If four cars arrive at a four-way stop simultaneously, drivers going straight should proceed first. If all four are turning right, they may all proceed simultaneously. These aside, there is no distinguishable way to see who should go first, so the intersection is at a standstill until one driver gets up the nerve and begins to inch forward, alerting the other drivers of his or her intentions, and proceeds through the intersection (thus starting the clockwise rotation).
- If two cars opposite each other are proceeding straight, both turning right, or one proceeding straight with the other turning right, they may go at the same time. The turn then goes to the adjacent cars at the stop, who may follow the same rule if applicable.
Complications (or Simplifications, Depending on How You Look at It)
Of course, complexities inevitably arise. Follow these tips to avoid adding further miscommunication to the situation.- Pedestrians always have the right of way. Please do not run anyone over simply because you think it’s your turn to go; it may very well be your turn to go, but if a pedestrian is in a crosswalk that interferes with your desired path, do not go.
- You must always stop at a four-way stop, whether you’re in downtown Chicago with lines of cars at the intersection or in rural Bismarck with not a car in the foreseeable horizon. Of course, I’m perfectly fine with the rolling stop in such instances, but don’t assume that just because you don’t immediately see someone you shouldn’t at least slow down to a few miles per hour at the intersection.
- If you’re desired path does not interfere with any of the other drivers--for instance, if you are turning and none of the other drivers at the four-way stop need to use the road you’ll be turning right onto--you may turn right while another car is going straight or turning onto a different road.
- Some drivers will ignore all the rules of the four-way stop and ignorantly assume that they have the right of way, since they are clearly the center of everyone’s universe. Even if it is your legal turn to proceed forward, always do so with caution, being wary of idiot drivers who may be too hasty to wait another ten seconds for you to clear the intersection.
- Some drivers will not use their turn signal when approaching a four-way stop. This may cause you to suspect, for instance, that it is safe to proceed straight because the car opposite you seems to be going straight. However, the oblivious person driving towards you actually plans on turning left, thus crossing your path when you attempt to drive straight. Be wary of such stupid drivers, as they can occasionally look like actual people.
- Disgustingly polite drivers mean death to a four-way Stop. If you encounter one such annoying person who incessantly waves you on, just go or you will simply add to the problem. Honking and waving your arms in the air in disgust is an appropriate reaction to ensure that he knows you’re not impressed with his or her attempted “chivalry.” If his or her apparent significant other is in the car, this is most likely the reasoning for this, so be sure to shake your head, furrow your eyebrows, and mouth, “Oh, really?”
- Similarly, there are the completely oblivious drivers. They make their complete stop and completely forget the order of all things around them. Though it is rightfully their turn, they stare blankly at you refuse to make eye contact with anyone at the intersection, knowing very well they’re an idiot. Attempt to wave them on with a kind gesture, politely showing them that it is their turn, but if they refuse to go, the person directly to their left should proceed instead, continuing the clockwise circle.
- Cell phones. In recent years, they may be one of the biggest complications to a four-way stop. If you are approaching a four-way stop and feel you may not be able to perform at your peak while continuing the conversation with whoever could be so important, please, put it down. I don’t eve care if you hang up, but take it away from your ear. This accomplishes more than you would think. First of all, it allows your focus to be on you’re driving, as it already should have been. Second, it allows you to not focus on the person on the other end of space, but to focus on the drivers who are actually present at the intersection with you. Thirdly, it gives the other drivers a sense of security; a feeling that maybe you do actually know what you’re doing, or at least that you’re trying and paying. If they see a cell phone, you’re just going to anger them, potentially causing road rage, a real condition which thousands of Americans suffer from on a daily basis.
- If any emergency vehicle is approaching from any direction, pull over; they get the right of way everywhere, including a four-way stop. Duh.
- THIS ISN’T A FOUR-WAY STOP. Frequently, people will observe cross lanes of traffic instead of following the road they’re on. This leads to people approaching a two-way stop, assuming it’s a four-way stop, and stopping when their have no stop sign an, in fact, have the right of way. This causes much confusion and potentially chaos as the drivers of the cross street can’t figure out what to do until the genius who actually has the right of way goes, usually after realizing he was never supposed to stop in the first place.
That just about does it, I’d say. The thing to realize is that four-way stops are ridiculously simple, so simple, in fact, that most people over think them. This, of course, leads to complications as listed above, which proper drivers like yourself and me then have to remember when approaching a four-way stop. It is important to realize that, no matter how well you know how to follow the rules of a four-way stop, the oblivious woman across from you may not have a clue what she’s doing, and the cell phone and hair straightener she’s holding certainly aren’t helping her concentration at all.
At a four-way stop, follow the rules, look out for Number 1 (don’t be polite), and, most importantly, be observant! Maybe someday this country will figure out how to keep their cool when pulling up to a stop sign.
Comments
So You're Scared of the Swine Flu?
05/04/09 01:39 PM
President Obama,
Long time fan, first time writer.
With all due respect, and I don’t want this to come across as harsh or anything because I’m totally down with having you in office, but what’s the deal with you incorporating the Swine Flu “situation” into your First 100 speech? I just really don’t think medical affairs, especially ones as insignificant as the Swine Flu really is, should be addressed by the President of the United States. Why? Because when the President talks about things, people listen. I understand this new disease is a scary and unknown thing.
I’m fully aware that people have died from the Swine Flu, a strain of the H1N1 Influenza A virus, and that there isn’t a cure or treatment available for it at this time. Even still, it’s really not as big of a deal as you’re making it out to be, and you getting on national news and alerting the public that the government is getting involved, labeling it a “serious situation,” and calling it a huge risk to the American public is just the perfect set up for fear breeding in our fair country.
It doesn’t really matter if you directly follow your comments with reassuring statements of how to avoid getting the infection (instructions that sound scarily similar to what we’re told in every doctor’s office to avoid any infection: wash your hands, don’t take public transit, skip school, etc.), that there’s no need to panic, and that you’ve requested $1.5 billion from Congress to help fight this new strain of the flu. The issue lies with the naivety of the American public and how much they look up to you. I think you’re failing to understand that when you issue a press release about an incurable disease and using big words like “pandemic,” people are going to stark freaking, even if you tell them not to.
In order to calm the American public on this issue and to heighten their awareness of real world issues, I have retrieved a few statistics and facts of my own in order to illustrate how big of a deal the Swine Flu is not. First let’s start with a few definitions for our own understanding:
pandemic: occurring over a wide geographic area and affecting an exceptionally high proportion of the population.
epidemic: affecting or tending to affect a disproportionally large number of individuals within a population, community, or region at the same time.
plague: an epidemic disease causing a high rate of mortality.
By these definitions, and as it is being portrayed by President Obama and the Mainstream Media, Swine Flu is a pandemic as there are confirmed cases worldwide. But the Swine Flu doesn’t actually fit to any of the above definitions, and in the following paragraphs I will illustrate why.
After one confirmed death in the United States, you called this a “serious situation.” Really, Obama? One death renders a situation serious? If that’s the case, we have a lot of serious situations on our hands. Why aren’t you asking Congress for billions of dollars to throw at those problems? Since you like to throw monetary numbers at situations you deem serious and can’t (but still want to) control, I’ll throw a few of my own numbers around. Numbers of things that actually are serious situations but are completely overlooked by most of America and the world.
According to the CDC, in the United States alone:
-Heart disease kills about 650,000 people annually.
-Cancer is responsible for nearly 560,000 deaths annually.
-Strokes, respiratory disease, and accidents cause over 350,000 fatalities annually.
-Around 75,000 lives are taken by diabetes annually.
Malnutrition is either directly or indirectly responsible for more than 5 million painful deaths in the world every year. Over 300,000 of those deaths are in children under the age of five.
More than 50% of Africans suffer from water-related diseases. This could be resolved if more countries had access to clean water.
Statistically, a child dies every three seconds either directly or indirectly from HIV/AIDS, usually before their fifth birthday. It’s horrible that we should have to call these children “statistics.”
Many countries in Africa, Swaziland and Zimbabwe for example, reported in 2003 that over 30% of the population was infected with HIV/AIDS.
When it was popular, the Black Plague, one of the deadliest pandemics in human history, caused 75 million deaths worldwide.
There are 200,000 estimated cases of Yellow Fever every year in the world, 30,000 of which will result in death annually.
Seasonal Influenza infects nearly five million humans annually worldwide and causes between 250,000 and 500,000 deaths each year.
I realize comparing something as miniscule as the Swine Flu to something as huge as the Black Plague is highly disproportionate, but with the hype it’s getting, some might actually buy that comparison. I did almost forget to provide the startling statistics from the Swine Flu infections and deaths, didn’t I? According to WHO (World Health Organization), there are nearly 1,500 confirmed cases of the Swine Flu with exactly 30 confirmed deaths. I’m not meaning to demean the value of human life. I am, however, trying to illustrate how ludicrous it is that our country is blowing an infection of such miniscule proportions to such a grand size. Thus far, Swine Flu, a strain of Influenza A, is responsible for 0.006% as many deaths as Influenza is annually.
My point is not to mock those who have been infected or died due to the Swine Flu. I just wonder why our government is involved in something this small, something the WHO is handling, when there are clearly people dying every second because they have no funds to purchase clean water and food. They have no money. And we’re throwing $1.5 billion at something that a confirmed thirty people have died from worldwide, only two of which have been in our own country. I’m sorry, but something just doesn’t seem right about this, President Obama. Why don’t we take our wealthy government’s money and put it to a good, responsible, non-selfish, practical use. Why don’t we stop talking about this Swine Flu, which can’t be a pandemic since it is not affecting a “large proportion of the population,” and start talking about how we can help countries less fortunate than our own, or how we can make our own country healthier and safer so millions don’t die from heart disease, cancer, strokes, and accidents. Millions, President Obama.
Why are you getting on TV and talking about something that is slaughtering less than 0.0006% as many people as malnutrition is children in Africa every year? The WHO’s job is to research and administer treatment to sick people. Heck, they have the word right in their title: “health.” You, however, do not.
Respectfully,
Your Loyal, Tax-Paying Citizen
Alex
Long time fan, first time writer.
With all due respect, and I don’t want this to come across as harsh or anything because I’m totally down with having you in office, but what’s the deal with you incorporating the Swine Flu “situation” into your First 100 speech? I just really don’t think medical affairs, especially ones as insignificant as the Swine Flu really is, should be addressed by the President of the United States. Why? Because when the President talks about things, people listen. I understand this new disease is a scary and unknown thing.
I’m fully aware that people have died from the Swine Flu, a strain of the H1N1 Influenza A virus, and that there isn’t a cure or treatment available for it at this time. Even still, it’s really not as big of a deal as you’re making it out to be, and you getting on national news and alerting the public that the government is getting involved, labeling it a “serious situation,” and calling it a huge risk to the American public is just the perfect set up for fear breeding in our fair country.
It doesn’t really matter if you directly follow your comments with reassuring statements of how to avoid getting the infection (instructions that sound scarily similar to what we’re told in every doctor’s office to avoid any infection: wash your hands, don’t take public transit, skip school, etc.), that there’s no need to panic, and that you’ve requested $1.5 billion from Congress to help fight this new strain of the flu. The issue lies with the naivety of the American public and how much they look up to you. I think you’re failing to understand that when you issue a press release about an incurable disease and using big words like “pandemic,” people are going to stark freaking, even if you tell them not to.
In order to calm the American public on this issue and to heighten their awareness of real world issues, I have retrieved a few statistics and facts of my own in order to illustrate how big of a deal the Swine Flu is not. First let’s start with a few definitions for our own understanding:
pandemic: occurring over a wide geographic area and affecting an exceptionally high proportion of the population.
epidemic: affecting or tending to affect a disproportionally large number of individuals within a population, community, or region at the same time.
plague: an epidemic disease causing a high rate of mortality.
By these definitions, and as it is being portrayed by President Obama and the Mainstream Media, Swine Flu is a pandemic as there are confirmed cases worldwide. But the Swine Flu doesn’t actually fit to any of the above definitions, and in the following paragraphs I will illustrate why.
After one confirmed death in the United States, you called this a “serious situation.” Really, Obama? One death renders a situation serious? If that’s the case, we have a lot of serious situations on our hands. Why aren’t you asking Congress for billions of dollars to throw at those problems? Since you like to throw monetary numbers at situations you deem serious and can’t (but still want to) control, I’ll throw a few of my own numbers around. Numbers of things that actually are serious situations but are completely overlooked by most of America and the world.
According to the CDC, in the United States alone:
-Heart disease kills about 650,000 people annually.
-Cancer is responsible for nearly 560,000 deaths annually.
-Strokes, respiratory disease, and accidents cause over 350,000 fatalities annually.
-Around 75,000 lives are taken by diabetes annually.
Malnutrition is either directly or indirectly responsible for more than 5 million painful deaths in the world every year. Over 300,000 of those deaths are in children under the age of five.
More than 50% of Africans suffer from water-related diseases. This could be resolved if more countries had access to clean water.
Statistically, a child dies every three seconds either directly or indirectly from HIV/AIDS, usually before their fifth birthday. It’s horrible that we should have to call these children “statistics.”
Many countries in Africa, Swaziland and Zimbabwe for example, reported in 2003 that over 30% of the population was infected with HIV/AIDS.
When it was popular, the Black Plague, one of the deadliest pandemics in human history, caused 75 million deaths worldwide.
There are 200,000 estimated cases of Yellow Fever every year in the world, 30,000 of which will result in death annually.
Seasonal Influenza infects nearly five million humans annually worldwide and causes between 250,000 and 500,000 deaths each year.
I realize comparing something as miniscule as the Swine Flu to something as huge as the Black Plague is highly disproportionate, but with the hype it’s getting, some might actually buy that comparison. I did almost forget to provide the startling statistics from the Swine Flu infections and deaths, didn’t I? According to WHO (World Health Organization), there are nearly 1,500 confirmed cases of the Swine Flu with exactly 30 confirmed deaths. I’m not meaning to demean the value of human life. I am, however, trying to illustrate how ludicrous it is that our country is blowing an infection of such miniscule proportions to such a grand size. Thus far, Swine Flu, a strain of Influenza A, is responsible for 0.006% as many deaths as Influenza is annually.
My point is not to mock those who have been infected or died due to the Swine Flu. I just wonder why our government is involved in something this small, something the WHO is handling, when there are clearly people dying every second because they have no funds to purchase clean water and food. They have no money. And we’re throwing $1.5 billion at something that a confirmed thirty people have died from worldwide, only two of which have been in our own country. I’m sorry, but something just doesn’t seem right about this, President Obama. Why don’t we take our wealthy government’s money and put it to a good, responsible, non-selfish, practical use. Why don’t we stop talking about this Swine Flu, which can’t be a pandemic since it is not affecting a “large proportion of the population,” and start talking about how we can help countries less fortunate than our own, or how we can make our own country healthier and safer so millions don’t die from heart disease, cancer, strokes, and accidents. Millions, President Obama.
Why are you getting on TV and talking about something that is slaughtering less than 0.0006% as many people as malnutrition is children in Africa every year? The WHO’s job is to research and administer treatment to sick people. Heck, they have the word right in their title: “health.” You, however, do not.
Respectfully,
Your Loyal, Tax-Paying Citizen
Alex
Dear Somalian Pirates
04/11/09 10:35 AM
Dear Somalian Pirates,
We think you are lame. I mean, come on! Nobody kidnaps a U.S. ship, especially not a humanitarian aid ship! Honestly, they were taking food and supplies to starving people in Africa. We figure your logical defense of stealing our ship is faulty for the following reasons:
Best Regards,
Jenna and Alex
Bloggers Extraordinaire
We think you are lame. I mean, come on! Nobody kidnaps a U.S. ship, especially not a humanitarian aid ship! Honestly, they were taking food and supplies to starving people in Africa. We figure your logical defense of stealing our ship is faulty for the following reasons:
- You seem to think you have guts. You’re the first people to attack a U.S. Merchant Ship in the last 200 years. You know why? Because everyone else is smarter than you and doesn’t mess with innocent and unarmed U.S. ships. Do you know what our military will do to people like you? You’ve put yourselves in a horrible position.
- The U.S. does not negotiate with terrorists. On any level. And you’re not even terrorists, you’re pirates. We never have negotiated with terrorism, and you’re not going to be the first exception.
- You have crappy negotiation skills, anyway. FBI and Navy guys came onto your boat to try to talk civilized with you, and your response is to offer up the captive for $2 million. Obviously, we refused (see aforementioned negotiation reason), and we left. You then raised your price to $3 million. If we weren’t going to pay $2 million, why would we pay $3 million? Maybe you’re confused. $3 million > $2 million = Less Likely for U.S. to accept.
- Where’s your parrot and eye patch? If you’re really pirates, where’s the peg leg? What’d you do with Long John Silver? Where’s Davy Jones? I have yet to see a news article quoting you saying, “Yarrr” or “Aye, Matey,” and you didn’t even tell our FBI agents to, “Walk the plank.” You don’t even act like real pirates, yet you claim to be some, and you expect us to take you seriously?
- You have clearly hosed off the U.S. Navy. There are, like, two destroyers looking down their gun barrels at you, so I’d put the hostage in a lifeboat and float him back over to his ship if I were you. I mean, the Navy doesn’t mess around, especially not when there are two of them ... And you’re pirates.
- How many of you can there honestly be? You have just ticked off an entire country (the US of A) and I hope you realize where this is going. I mean, maybe you had success with other country’s ships, but it’s not likely that you’re going to get away with this with the previously mentioned Naval Destroyers fixin’ to blow you out of the water. We don’t like to see any loss of life, and we will not submit to your monetary demands, so step away from the hostage.
Best Regards,
Jenna and Alex
Bloggers Extraordinaire
Girls Are the Root of All Evil
04/07/09 07:38 PM
That’s
what we’ve always been told, isn’t it?
Last week, in the midst of projects and exams, I began to get a cold. Since Jessica had previously had a cold, I decided to blame her for passing it on. Her defense was that Faith had given it to her, so Faith was really at fault. Never missing an opportunity to blame Faith for something bad, I informed her of my annoyance with her getting me sick by proxy. Her rebuttal was that she did it because she loved me. What logic! I told her this made no sense.
“Love has nothing to do with me being sick, Faith,” I said
“Sure it does. Love = suffering,” she replied.
“Suffering is listed nowhere on this page.” I sent her a link to the Webster definition of love.
“It’s indirect. Love = patient. Patience = longsuffering.” A horrible reply. Horrible, Faith.
“Oh, come on. If we’re going by that logic, I could prove to you that girls are the root of all evil.”
“That logic is flawed,” Faith attempted to defended herself.
I began to work out the proof for Faith that girls are the root of all evil, and I came upon two startling revelations! The age-old proof that demonstrates how girls are the root of all evil, and I found that I was wrong! Despite my best efforts, I could not find anyway to not credit my sickness-spawning arch-enemy, Faith, for helping me come to this realization. I am forced to give her slight credit and even a partial nod of friendship for giving me a blogging topic and helping me with this proof. But only a slight one. Don’t read into this too much, Faith. This may mean we’re friends, but this doesn’t mean we’re hanging out.
I will now walk through the original proof that states that girls are the root of all evil. First, let us use G represent “Girls,” T represent “Time,” and M represent “Money.” We will use E to represent “Evil.”
Now, let’s allow the assumption that girls, specifically ones that you’re in a relationship with, require time and money. Given this statement, it has traditionally been shown that:
1)
The view has also long been held that time is money, since in order to make money you must use time, and when you waste time you’re losing potential for monetary growth. Given this, we can now show that:
2)
Substituting equation 2 into equation 1, we achieve:
1)
Finally, traditionally, it has been said that money is the root of all evil. We can represent this by the statement:
3)
Substituting equation 3 into equation 1 we, we achieve:
1)
Since we have proved that G = E, we have proved that girls are evil.
However, there are two significant flaws in this proof. First and foremost, the traditionally accepted statement that “money is the root of all evil” is completely wrong. According to 1 Timothy 6:10, “... The love of money is the root of all evil.” Culture casually takes the word “love” out of the equation and misquotes this scripture as “money is the root of all evil,” claiming Christians hate wealth. This means that, from our previous proof, anything valued to be evil should actually be preceded by “the love of.”
Therefore, by the correctly cited proof, girls are not evil, the love of girls is evil.
Slightly less significant, it’s a common misunderstanding that “and” represents multiplication when it really represents addition. If you have five apples and three apples, your total amount of apples if 5 + 3 = 8, not 5 * 3 = 15. Hence, if girls are time and money, this equation should really be presented by:
1)
Following this equation through the proof, we find that:
1)
Therefore, by the proper proof with the proper citing for the root of all evil, the love of girls is two times more evil than anything else.
Consider yourself warned. I’m just thankful for Faith for bringing this common misunderstanding to my attention. Faith, I can no longer love you. I apologize for letting you know in this way. It never would have worked between us anyway ...
Last week, in the midst of projects and exams, I began to get a cold. Since Jessica had previously had a cold, I decided to blame her for passing it on. Her defense was that Faith had given it to her, so Faith was really at fault. Never missing an opportunity to blame Faith for something bad, I informed her of my annoyance with her getting me sick by proxy. Her rebuttal was that she did it because she loved me. What logic! I told her this made no sense.
“Love has nothing to do with me being sick, Faith,” I said
“Sure it does. Love = suffering,” she replied.
“Suffering is listed nowhere on this page.” I sent her a link to the Webster definition of love.
“It’s indirect. Love = patient. Patience = longsuffering.” A horrible reply. Horrible, Faith.
“Oh, come on. If we’re going by that logic, I could prove to you that girls are the root of all evil.”
“That logic is flawed,” Faith attempted to defended herself.
I began to work out the proof for Faith that girls are the root of all evil, and I came upon two startling revelations! The age-old proof that demonstrates how girls are the root of all evil, and I found that I was wrong! Despite my best efforts, I could not find anyway to not credit my sickness-spawning arch-enemy, Faith, for helping me come to this realization. I am forced to give her slight credit and even a partial nod of friendship for giving me a blogging topic and helping me with this proof. But only a slight one. Don’t read into this too much, Faith. This may mean we’re friends, but this doesn’t mean we’re hanging out.
I will now walk through the original proof that states that girls are the root of all evil. First, let us use G represent “Girls,” T represent “Time,” and M represent “Money.” We will use E to represent “Evil.”
Now, let’s allow the assumption that girls, specifically ones that you’re in a relationship with, require time and money. Given this statement, it has traditionally been shown that:
1)
The view has also long been held that time is money, since in order to make money you must use time, and when you waste time you’re losing potential for monetary growth. Given this, we can now show that:
2)
Substituting equation 2 into equation 1, we achieve:
1)
Finally, traditionally, it has been said that money is the root of all evil. We can represent this by the statement:
3)
Substituting equation 3 into equation 1 we, we achieve:
1)
Since we have proved that G = E, we have proved that girls are evil.
However, there are two significant flaws in this proof. First and foremost, the traditionally accepted statement that “money is the root of all evil” is completely wrong. According to 1 Timothy 6:10, “... The love of money is the root of all evil.” Culture casually takes the word “love” out of the equation and misquotes this scripture as “money is the root of all evil,” claiming Christians hate wealth. This means that, from our previous proof, anything valued to be evil should actually be preceded by “the love of.”
Therefore, by the correctly cited proof, girls are not evil, the love of girls is evil.
Slightly less significant, it’s a common misunderstanding that “and” represents multiplication when it really represents addition. If you have five apples and three apples, your total amount of apples if 5 + 3 = 8, not 5 * 3 = 15. Hence, if girls are time and money, this equation should really be presented by:
1)
Following this equation through the proof, we find that:
1)
Therefore, by the proper proof with the proper citing for the root of all evil, the love of girls is two times more evil than anything else.
Consider yourself warned. I’m just thankful for Faith for bringing this common misunderstanding to my attention. Faith, I can no longer love you. I apologize for letting you know in this way. It never would have worked between us anyway ...
Your Right to Common Courtesy
03/30/09 04:23 PM
This post is most
pointedly directed towards the residents of Brock
Hall, but it really applies to anyone. Also, please
understand the heavy sarcasm in the title. You do
not have a
right to
common courtesy. Certain people are gracious to you
and you should be thankful. That doesn’t mean you sit
around expecting people to bring you free food
because you look like you’re hungry.
I was headed over to chat with Kylee, and Dave was on his way over to the SSC. We left the third floor of Brock, heading down the stairs. We got to the main double doors and pushed them open. As I pushed through the first set, I saw two fellow Brockians approaching the building. I had a crucial “yellow-light” decision. Should I stand for a few moments and hold the door for them, or are they far enough away that I should just let the door close and make them unlock it for themselves? They were far enough away that I decided to just keep walking, as did Dave.
As we were a few paces out of the building, we crossed paths with the other gentleman. There were two of them, one of them I know by name (but that’s about all), but both shall remain nameless out of respect. The one I knew sarcastically tossed over his shoulder, “Hey, thanks for holding the door for us, guys.” So, not to be outdone, I sarcastically tossed back, “Hey, you’re welcome!” with a big smile and a wave. Apparently taken aback, and not wanting to lose the last words, the other shouted in a far more desperate tone, “Yah! Thanks for holding it!” Nice comeback. I commend you.
To the first of you: you are extremely pompous.
To the second: you sounded like a desperate five year old who was failing miserably at winning at argument.
This isn’t the first time, nor even the second, that this has happened. I’ve had people sarcastically “burn” me for not holding the door open for them numerous times while leaving Brock, some harsher than others. It’s as if they expect that I owe them something. Look, I don’t want to be rude, but at the same time, with the attitude you’re giving me, why the heck do you think you deserve to have the door held open for you?
A few weeks back I was leaving Brock and a similar situation happened. I walked through both double doors and the student walking towards me moved in front of me to stop me and said, “Really, man? It would take you two extra seconds to stand and hold the door so I wouldn’t have to get my ID out!” To which I replied, “Really, man? It would take you the same two seconds while you’re still walking to get your own ID out.” And I walked around him and on to class.
First of all, logically, if you’re coming back to Brock, you’re probably done with class. You’re most likely not in a hurry. If we’re leaving Brock, it’s more likely we’re actually purposefully headed somewhere, perhaps somewhere we don’t want to be late to. Sure, it’s only two seconds, but it’s the principle of the matter: we’re headed somewhere to participate in an activity, you’re headed back to your dorm to be “off the clock.”
I was sitting in the lounge on the opposite end of Brock once when I heard someone pounding on the doors. Someone had forgotten their ID. There’s a lounge on that side, so me and all my friends assumed someone over there would get the door. Well, no one did. The pounding continued. Finally, someone on that end of the building let the guys in. I say guys because it wasn’t just one guy, it was five. Five guys who either didn’t remember to take their ID with them when they left the building or just didn’t want to reach into their pockets to get it out because they were too lazy. (That last statement actually isn’t too far from the truth. There are guys that do that.) They came to our end of the building, leaning through the doors into the lounge we were all sitting in, and yelled, “Hey, thanks for coming and opening the door for us, guys!” I shouted back, “Hey, thanks for remembering to take your ID with you.”
The thing is, you have every right to not take your ID with you, and you can bank on the fact that someone will open the door for you. But you can’t get upset when someone doesn’t open the door for you. Understand that when we’re sitting in the lounge and we open that door for you, you go upstairs and forget about the whole situation. If we’re sitting in the lounge and everyone does the same thing you do and expects us to open the door for them, we wouldn’t get any work done. That’s why Cedarville gave you an ID, so you could serve yourself.
Next time I’m walking out of Brock and someone tries to slight me with, “Hey, thanks for holding the door for me,” I’ll respond with, “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were a woman at a conservative Baptist college.” You know. The types where women just stand at the doors and wait for a guy to come hold the door for them. Because it’s not that they’re special and we want to show them we appreciate them, it’s that they deserve to have the door held for them.
Holding the door for you is a favor, not a requirement. Grow up. Honestly, we live in Brock. We’re already pegged with the stereotype of being arrogant idiots. Thanks for stapling that down, guys.
I was headed over to chat with Kylee, and Dave was on his way over to the SSC. We left the third floor of Brock, heading down the stairs. We got to the main double doors and pushed them open. As I pushed through the first set, I saw two fellow Brockians approaching the building. I had a crucial “yellow-light” decision. Should I stand for a few moments and hold the door for them, or are they far enough away that I should just let the door close and make them unlock it for themselves? They were far enough away that I decided to just keep walking, as did Dave.
As we were a few paces out of the building, we crossed paths with the other gentleman. There were two of them, one of them I know by name (but that’s about all), but both shall remain nameless out of respect. The one I knew sarcastically tossed over his shoulder, “Hey, thanks for holding the door for us, guys.” So, not to be outdone, I sarcastically tossed back, “Hey, you’re welcome!” with a big smile and a wave. Apparently taken aback, and not wanting to lose the last words, the other shouted in a far more desperate tone, “Yah! Thanks for holding it!” Nice comeback. I commend you.
To the first of you: you are extremely pompous.
To the second: you sounded like a desperate five year old who was failing miserably at winning at argument.
This isn’t the first time, nor even the second, that this has happened. I’ve had people sarcastically “burn” me for not holding the door open for them numerous times while leaving Brock, some harsher than others. It’s as if they expect that I owe them something. Look, I don’t want to be rude, but at the same time, with the attitude you’re giving me, why the heck do you think you deserve to have the door held open for you?
A few weeks back I was leaving Brock and a similar situation happened. I walked through both double doors and the student walking towards me moved in front of me to stop me and said, “Really, man? It would take you two extra seconds to stand and hold the door so I wouldn’t have to get my ID out!” To which I replied, “Really, man? It would take you the same two seconds while you’re still walking to get your own ID out.” And I walked around him and on to class.
First of all, logically, if you’re coming back to Brock, you’re probably done with class. You’re most likely not in a hurry. If we’re leaving Brock, it’s more likely we’re actually purposefully headed somewhere, perhaps somewhere we don’t want to be late to. Sure, it’s only two seconds, but it’s the principle of the matter: we’re headed somewhere to participate in an activity, you’re headed back to your dorm to be “off the clock.”
I was sitting in the lounge on the opposite end of Brock once when I heard someone pounding on the doors. Someone had forgotten their ID. There’s a lounge on that side, so me and all my friends assumed someone over there would get the door. Well, no one did. The pounding continued. Finally, someone on that end of the building let the guys in. I say guys because it wasn’t just one guy, it was five. Five guys who either didn’t remember to take their ID with them when they left the building or just didn’t want to reach into their pockets to get it out because they were too lazy. (That last statement actually isn’t too far from the truth. There are guys that do that.) They came to our end of the building, leaning through the doors into the lounge we were all sitting in, and yelled, “Hey, thanks for coming and opening the door for us, guys!” I shouted back, “Hey, thanks for remembering to take your ID with you.”
The thing is, you have every right to not take your ID with you, and you can bank on the fact that someone will open the door for you. But you can’t get upset when someone doesn’t open the door for you. Understand that when we’re sitting in the lounge and we open that door for you, you go upstairs and forget about the whole situation. If we’re sitting in the lounge and everyone does the same thing you do and expects us to open the door for them, we wouldn’t get any work done. That’s why Cedarville gave you an ID, so you could serve yourself.
Next time I’m walking out of Brock and someone tries to slight me with, “Hey, thanks for holding the door for me,” I’ll respond with, “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were a woman at a conservative Baptist college.” You know. The types where women just stand at the doors and wait for a guy to come hold the door for them. Because it’s not that they’re special and we want to show them we appreciate them, it’s that they deserve to have the door held for them.
Holding the door for you is a favor, not a requirement. Grow up. Honestly, we live in Brock. We’re already pegged with the stereotype of being arrogant idiots. Thanks for stapling that down, guys.
Blood:Water Mission; I Love My Friends
03/26/09 11:59 AM
Ladies and gentlemen, I
have a significant announcement to make. No,
I'm not engaged, but close. Actually, it has
nothing to do with marriage or relationships, unless
you consider my relationships with carbonated
beverages more than just the meaningless flings that
I consider them.
No, my announcement is that today, March 26th, 2009, is the twenty-fifth day I have gone without the consumption of a soda. Even more significant, without the consumption of a caffeinated drink. More significant still, I haven't drank anything except water in the last twenty-five days! If this doesn't seem significant enough to you, take into account that I will not be partaking in The Drink for another fifteen days.
Still not significant? Okay, maybe you don't understand my insatiable thirst for caffeine. I love it. I have no shame in admitting that I may or may not be addicted to it. (I guess by the way I sidestepped that question, I may have some shame, but you get the point.) I love Pepsi, Mountain Dew, Cherry Coke, Dr. Pepper, coffee, Latte (or "German Coffee," if you prefer), Macchiato, Chai Tea ... Really, if it has caffeine, I'll probably drink it. And that list doesn’t even include Energy Drinks, which I also enjoy (if they aren’t the nasty tasting ones, anyway).
That's just caffeinated content. I also love Orange Juice, smoothies, and those delicious lizard juices (that sounds weird) by SoBe. On average, considering all the possibilities for caffeine and the fact that soda, coffee, and tea are all free in Chuck's, I ingest ample amounts of caffeine per day. Numerous bottles. Many glasses. Several cups.
So, why the sudden urge to cut off my energy source Cold Turkey for forty days? Well, it's not for Lent, if that's what you're thinking. But really, it is. But it's actually not. Observe.
With proceeds going toward Blood:Water Mission, this non-Lent initiative is to raise awareness, in America specifically, of the fact that we have so many choices. Do I want water at this very moment, or do I want a soda? If I want a soda, which kind? I have dozens to choose from. In America, we're blessed with plenty; in many third-world countries, children have only one choice: water. And that water may not even be healthy, and it certainly isn't filtered and coming through a faucet. The forty days is offset from the Lent holiday by two days, presumably because they were attempting to appeal not just to the religious crowd but also to people who simply wanted to help make a difference around the world. So though it's technically not for Lent, it's practically the same thing. Call it what you will, we've given up drinking anything other than water for forty days.
Kylee the Magnificent, Emilie the Elegant, and I decided we wanted to do this together, so we have been. A few other stragglers from our sphere of influence have joined the bandwagon along the way. Despite the controversy that smoothies may or may not be a drink, we've decided to avoid them as well since we have them regularly too. At the end of the forty days, the three of us are celebrating our completion of this task with smoothies. Toasts and cheers will be made.
We're not just abstaining from anything that doesn't resemble two hydrogen atoms and one oxygen atom, we're also saving the money that we would normally spend on these drinks and donating it to Blood:Water Mission. $1 will provide water for an African child for one year. It seems hard to believe, but it's true.
The other day, I hid myself from the usual crowd in an attempt to study for an exam I had the following day. I needed to do well on this exam (and, by the way, I did), so from about four in the afternoon to two in the morning, I studied, jotting notes down here and there and working through problems. With the exceptions of Dinner, a few five minute breaks here and there to watch SNL videos on Hulu, and the walk back to my dorm, I was studying fervently for all ten hours.
I was a little stressed and had the onsets of a headache at around nine when the suave Ryan and the beautifully diverse Kristi appeared at my side. I say "appeared" because they literally did and caught me quite off guard. I was looking down, intently writing in my notebook, when all of a sudden I was startled to find a darkly-colored face peering over my left shoulder. When I realized it was Kristi, I gave her a backwards hug, which is slightly more awkward than you might think while sitting in a chair. Luckily, she rides pretty low to the ground, so it wasn't actually that awkward. At this point, Ryan pushed his arm forward into my face and exclaimed, "Here, we brought you this!" with a big smile on his face.
I blinked a few times, stared up and Ryan and Kristi who were both wearing big grins, and back at what Ryan was holding. I was still a little shaken by the headache, study overload, and surprising appearance of two of my favorites, but the fact that Ryan had put a can of Pepsi in my face didn't help either. I think it took me a little while to respond, because inwardly I really wanted that Pepsi, and I was trying to think of some way to justify drinking it. I mean, there it was: a free Pepsi. I hadn't seen a can or a bottle in over twenty days, and the aluminum looked so deliciously inviting.
"I ... Can't ... Have that ..." I managed to sputter out.
I felt bad saying it because I really wanted that Pepsi, and I knew they had only brought it to me because they knew how much I loved Pepsi and that I was studying for an exam, but I have principles, dang it! Forty days! When I start something, I simply must follow it through or I won't be able to live with myself. Sadly, I am forever required to live with myself, so this forty days will not be broken in a moment of weakness!
Poor Ryan and Kristi tried to apologize because they had forgotten all about the forty days of water thing, and they told me to keep the Pepsi in my fridge until the forty days were up. Yah ... Right ... I love you guys, but that just wasn't going to happen. Ryan, being the considerate person that he is, placed the Pepsi on the floor in a prominent place near me. It just sat there, staring at me, torturing me for another hour or so. Emilie, a fellow Pepsi lover like myself, showed up, I told her the story, and she "hid" the Pepsi (which consisted of putting it under the couch next to us so we wouldn't have to look at it. We both wanted it.)
Even though sometimes my friends forget that I'm fasting from a particular substance, I love them all because they’re still considerate enough to bring me something I love when they know I’m stressing out :). So, despite your silly forgetfulness Kristi and Ryan, I still love you both. It's the though that counts. Thanks for thinking of me!
I will make it these forty days. Not only will I then be able to help provide many African children with clean water for a year, I'll also have done something good for myself!
No, my announcement is that today, March 26th, 2009, is the twenty-fifth day I have gone without the consumption of a soda. Even more significant, without the consumption of a caffeinated drink. More significant still, I haven't drank anything except water in the last twenty-five days! If this doesn't seem significant enough to you, take into account that I will not be partaking in The Drink for another fifteen days.
Still not significant? Okay, maybe you don't understand my insatiable thirst for caffeine. I love it. I have no shame in admitting that I may or may not be addicted to it. (I guess by the way I sidestepped that question, I may have some shame, but you get the point.) I love Pepsi, Mountain Dew, Cherry Coke, Dr. Pepper, coffee, Latte (or "German Coffee," if you prefer), Macchiato, Chai Tea ... Really, if it has caffeine, I'll probably drink it. And that list doesn’t even include Energy Drinks, which I also enjoy (if they aren’t the nasty tasting ones, anyway).
That's just caffeinated content. I also love Orange Juice, smoothies, and those delicious lizard juices (that sounds weird) by SoBe. On average, considering all the possibilities for caffeine and the fact that soda, coffee, and tea are all free in Chuck's, I ingest ample amounts of caffeine per day. Numerous bottles. Many glasses. Several cups.
So, why the sudden urge to cut off my energy source Cold Turkey for forty days? Well, it's not for Lent, if that's what you're thinking. But really, it is. But it's actually not. Observe.
With proceeds going toward Blood:Water Mission, this non-Lent initiative is to raise awareness, in America specifically, of the fact that we have so many choices. Do I want water at this very moment, or do I want a soda? If I want a soda, which kind? I have dozens to choose from. In America, we're blessed with plenty; in many third-world countries, children have only one choice: water. And that water may not even be healthy, and it certainly isn't filtered and coming through a faucet. The forty days is offset from the Lent holiday by two days, presumably because they were attempting to appeal not just to the religious crowd but also to people who simply wanted to help make a difference around the world. So though it's technically not for Lent, it's practically the same thing. Call it what you will, we've given up drinking anything other than water for forty days.
Kylee the Magnificent, Emilie the Elegant, and I decided we wanted to do this together, so we have been. A few other stragglers from our sphere of influence have joined the bandwagon along the way. Despite the controversy that smoothies may or may not be a drink, we've decided to avoid them as well since we have them regularly too. At the end of the forty days, the three of us are celebrating our completion of this task with smoothies. Toasts and cheers will be made.
We're not just abstaining from anything that doesn't resemble two hydrogen atoms and one oxygen atom, we're also saving the money that we would normally spend on these drinks and donating it to Blood:Water Mission. $1 will provide water for an African child for one year. It seems hard to believe, but it's true.
The other day, I hid myself from the usual crowd in an attempt to study for an exam I had the following day. I needed to do well on this exam (and, by the way, I did), so from about four in the afternoon to two in the morning, I studied, jotting notes down here and there and working through problems. With the exceptions of Dinner, a few five minute breaks here and there to watch SNL videos on Hulu, and the walk back to my dorm, I was studying fervently for all ten hours.
I was a little stressed and had the onsets of a headache at around nine when the suave Ryan and the beautifully diverse Kristi appeared at my side. I say "appeared" because they literally did and caught me quite off guard. I was looking down, intently writing in my notebook, when all of a sudden I was startled to find a darkly-colored face peering over my left shoulder. When I realized it was Kristi, I gave her a backwards hug, which is slightly more awkward than you might think while sitting in a chair. Luckily, she rides pretty low to the ground, so it wasn't actually that awkward. At this point, Ryan pushed his arm forward into my face and exclaimed, "Here, we brought you this!" with a big smile on his face.
I blinked a few times, stared up and Ryan and Kristi who were both wearing big grins, and back at what Ryan was holding. I was still a little shaken by the headache, study overload, and surprising appearance of two of my favorites, but the fact that Ryan had put a can of Pepsi in my face didn't help either. I think it took me a little while to respond, because inwardly I really wanted that Pepsi, and I was trying to think of some way to justify drinking it. I mean, there it was: a free Pepsi. I hadn't seen a can or a bottle in over twenty days, and the aluminum looked so deliciously inviting.
"I ... Can't ... Have that ..." I managed to sputter out.
I felt bad saying it because I really wanted that Pepsi, and I knew they had only brought it to me because they knew how much I loved Pepsi and that I was studying for an exam, but I have principles, dang it! Forty days! When I start something, I simply must follow it through or I won't be able to live with myself. Sadly, I am forever required to live with myself, so this forty days will not be broken in a moment of weakness!
Poor Ryan and Kristi tried to apologize because they had forgotten all about the forty days of water thing, and they told me to keep the Pepsi in my fridge until the forty days were up. Yah ... Right ... I love you guys, but that just wasn't going to happen. Ryan, being the considerate person that he is, placed the Pepsi on the floor in a prominent place near me. It just sat there, staring at me, torturing me for another hour or so. Emilie, a fellow Pepsi lover like myself, showed up, I told her the story, and she "hid" the Pepsi (which consisted of putting it under the couch next to us so we wouldn't have to look at it. We both wanted it.)
Even though sometimes my friends forget that I'm fasting from a particular substance, I love them all because they’re still considerate enough to bring me something I love when they know I’m stressing out :). So, despite your silly forgetfulness Kristi and Ryan, I still love you both. It's the though that counts. Thanks for thinking of me!
I will make it these forty days. Not only will I then be able to help provide many African children with clean water for a year, I'll also have done something good for myself!
Cedarville Goes Casual
03/20/09 10:48 AM
In a move that no one
in the student body was really expecting, Cedarville
has officially declared every day as “Casual Friday”
... Sort of. We’re still only allowed to wear
t-shirts on Fridays, but will be allowed, starting
after Easter Break in April, to wear jeans on every
day of the week.
After polling prospective and current students, the majority stated that they would enjoy to freedom to express themselves in manners other than the conservative khakis and dress pants that have previously been required.
This is a decision that a lot of people, including myself, have been eagerly anticipating, though I didn’t think it would happen while I was still a student here. I never minded the dress code to the extent that I would complain about it (because I agreed to come here fully aware of what I would be required to wear), but I do prefer the comfort of wearing jeans, or even simply the ability to make my own choice. I have heard numerous people verbally complain (extensively) about having to wear khakis, and to them I say that they shouldn’t have come to Cedarville. I really just don’t like whining.
Now the dress code has changed, and a new class of complaining has been made: those that don’t want it to change. Why, I’m not sure. If they truly enjoy the comfort of their khakis that much, I encourage them to wear them. They have the choice. And now we have the choice to wear jeans. I also challenge them, if they’re going to so consistently gripe about this change in freedom, to continue to wear khakis for the remainder of the year. Heck, wear them all of next year if you’re really in that much protest over the matter. As they say, “Put your pants where your mouth is.”
The biggest argument I hear is that the “professional” dress that Cedarville used to require is what defines us as a University above all other Christian Universities. That’s not true though. What defines us as a University above other Universities is our character. Christians are known by their actions, not by their appearances. Additionally, the previous dress code disallowed jeans; it in no way promoted a professional look. I saw people wear horribly ugly cargo pants and/or jeans colored other than blue just to get around the dress code. These did not look professional in any way. A formal pair of dark jeans looks far more professional than cargo pants. If Cedarville did maintain its previous dress code to promote a look of professionalism, it was failing.
Hey, if you find yourself ever defined by how you look, or if you think you’re wearing khakis makes you “holier than thou,” I strongly suggest you rethink your mentality towards Christianity.
The other complaint I hear is that this is just the first step toward a downward spiral for Cedarville’s standards. This is equally ridiculous as Cedarville has been liberating itself to adapt to the culture for many years prior to this. You do realize men used to have to wear suits and women were required to wear dresses every day, right? Additionally, Cedarville is still one of only a few other Universities in the country that requires chapel five days a week. Even prestigious graduate school seminaries like Moody Bible only have chapel two or three times a week, and other institutions like Dallas Theological require significantly less consistent attendance at their chapels.
If Chuck’s decided the cafeteria was too full and built a new one in addition to the one we already have so we then had more selection, would you gripe about that too? “What? I have more choices now? But I only really needed pizza!” Hey, eat your pizza then. The rest of us are happy for the broader scope of choice. Stop imposing your own tastes and opinions on others.
Please, I’m asking all of you, stop complaining about Cedarville adapting and relating to the culture around it. There is nothing wrong with this change, and if anything it is beneficial for our school. If you truly dislike the decision that much, it does not have to effect you. It only effects those of us who want to express ourselves differently in how we dress. Now it’s our turn to tell you: “stop whining.”
After polling prospective and current students, the majority stated that they would enjoy to freedom to express themselves in manners other than the conservative khakis and dress pants that have previously been required.
This is a decision that a lot of people, including myself, have been eagerly anticipating, though I didn’t think it would happen while I was still a student here. I never minded the dress code to the extent that I would complain about it (because I agreed to come here fully aware of what I would be required to wear), but I do prefer the comfort of wearing jeans, or even simply the ability to make my own choice. I have heard numerous people verbally complain (extensively) about having to wear khakis, and to them I say that they shouldn’t have come to Cedarville. I really just don’t like whining.
Now the dress code has changed, and a new class of complaining has been made: those that don’t want it to change. Why, I’m not sure. If they truly enjoy the comfort of their khakis that much, I encourage them to wear them. They have the choice. And now we have the choice to wear jeans. I also challenge them, if they’re going to so consistently gripe about this change in freedom, to continue to wear khakis for the remainder of the year. Heck, wear them all of next year if you’re really in that much protest over the matter. As they say, “Put your pants where your mouth is.”
The biggest argument I hear is that the “professional” dress that Cedarville used to require is what defines us as a University above all other Christian Universities. That’s not true though. What defines us as a University above other Universities is our character. Christians are known by their actions, not by their appearances. Additionally, the previous dress code disallowed jeans; it in no way promoted a professional look. I saw people wear horribly ugly cargo pants and/or jeans colored other than blue just to get around the dress code. These did not look professional in any way. A formal pair of dark jeans looks far more professional than cargo pants. If Cedarville did maintain its previous dress code to promote a look of professionalism, it was failing.
Hey, if you find yourself ever defined by how you look, or if you think you’re wearing khakis makes you “holier than thou,” I strongly suggest you rethink your mentality towards Christianity.
The other complaint I hear is that this is just the first step toward a downward spiral for Cedarville’s standards. This is equally ridiculous as Cedarville has been liberating itself to adapt to the culture for many years prior to this. You do realize men used to have to wear suits and women were required to wear dresses every day, right? Additionally, Cedarville is still one of only a few other Universities in the country that requires chapel five days a week. Even prestigious graduate school seminaries like Moody Bible only have chapel two or three times a week, and other institutions like Dallas Theological require significantly less consistent attendance at their chapels.
If Chuck’s decided the cafeteria was too full and built a new one in addition to the one we already have so we then had more selection, would you gripe about that too? “What? I have more choices now? But I only really needed pizza!” Hey, eat your pizza then. The rest of us are happy for the broader scope of choice. Stop imposing your own tastes and opinions on others.
Please, I’m asking all of you, stop complaining about Cedarville adapting and relating to the culture around it. There is nothing wrong with this change, and if anything it is beneficial for our school. If you truly dislike the decision that much, it does not have to effect you. It only effects those of us who want to express ourselves differently in how we dress. Now it’s our turn to tell you: “stop whining.”
An Open Letter to Lounge Couples
03/05/09 01:06 PM
A disturbing trend
seems to be on the rise at Cedarville University:
Awkward Lounge Couples. I’m not talking about couples
that find themselves in a particular lounge with a
few friends just hanging out, I’m talking about
Awkward Lounge Couples. Some of you may not
find this that unusual, but I, because these Couples
can really only be found at Cedarville. You know who
you are, Couples.
You’re a disturbance to us all. We can’t concentrate with your awkward presence, gazing into each others eyes, making strange (and apparently romantic) cooing sounds at each other, and talking in that weird I-totally-like-you voice. You know, I’m a fan of relationships and couples and marriage, but you’re doing it all wrong. I’m not expert on relationships, but I’m pretty sure if you disturb everyone around you, you’re doing something wrong.1
See, it’s frustrating when a group of friends come into an area that has more than enough lounge room only to find a couple (that’s two) taking up an entire couch (made for ten) watching a movie or just sitting awkwardly close, cuddling and talking in that weird voice. Sure, there’s one or two other couches we could pull together to hang out, but we don’t want to do that for two reasons: first of all, it would be rude to you. Since there’s ten of us and only two of you, we would probably dominate the noise level in the area and scare you away.2 It would make us happy to do so, but it would also leave us feeling a little rude. Second, if we didn’t end up dominating you out of the area, it would be incredibly awkward for us, even if we tried our best to ignore you.3
The problem with Cedarville University isn’t that it doesn’t have enough lounges. On the contrary, the school has more than enough lounges for people to study in/play games in/watch movies in if people would use them appropriately. The problem lies with the Awkward Couples that take up more than half of the lounges.4
Since I know this is probably a shocking revelation to you, finding out that the majority of the school can’t stand you, and since I’m also sure you have no idea how to correct this problem, I’ve provided some less-than-appealing (to you, not us. Though, trust me, they’re good for you.) suggestions for you to keep our lounges friendly to all ages.
Those are just a few free alternatives. If you start spending money, the possibilities become endless, and we couldn’t be happier if you left campus.
All footnotes are courtesy of Jenna M. Woestman, the blogger responsible for most of the content at jennawoestman.com and who is an actual married woman.
1. So true. I concur, and since I’m married this makes me a marriage expert.
2. Which might not be a bad idea.
3. Creepy Couples are real unhealthy, not to mention totally creepy.
4. One time when I visited Cedarville, I saw like ten Lounge Couples in the DMC or whatever that place is called. TEN. That’s uncalled for.
5. I recommend leaving a Bible in between the two of you because it’s at least six inches wide and will pretty much always remind you to leave room for Jesus. My grandparents did this in college, and they actually have a picture of themselves standing outside a building with a Bible in between them. It’s pretty amazing, so you should follow their example.
6. Also, if you actually do wind up getting married, you may discover you don’t like this person much, that they mostly make you want to poke your eye out, because YOU NEVER TALKED TO THEM WHILE YOU WERE DATING.
7. Ew, sick.
8. Unless if Vikings overrun Cedarville, in which case you’re in trouble anyway.
9. I tried staring at Joey deeply into his eyes at our wedding…but since we never did it before then much it was kinda weird and sort of creepy. Plus he kept making slightly odd faces and telling me to “shhh” because I was trying to talk to him while Sister and Brother were singing, even though Pastor Steve had said we could talk if we wanted. (I’m pretty sure this will be a bone of contention until our dying day. He swears Pastor Steve didn’t say that, I say he did.) Anyways, all that to say you don’t have to stare creepily into one another’s eyes in order to get married.
10. Plus, if you ditch out on all your friends who will you have be your bridesmaids and groomsmen? You can’t just hire people for that job, it’s best if they’re friends. And if you have a ton of siblings and were planning on just picking them, that’s a total cop-out. You still do need friends. Trust me.
You’re a disturbance to us all. We can’t concentrate with your awkward presence, gazing into each others eyes, making strange (and apparently romantic) cooing sounds at each other, and talking in that weird I-totally-like-you voice. You know, I’m a fan of relationships and couples and marriage, but you’re doing it all wrong. I’m not expert on relationships, but I’m pretty sure if you disturb everyone around you, you’re doing something wrong.1
See, it’s frustrating when a group of friends come into an area that has more than enough lounge room only to find a couple (that’s two) taking up an entire couch (made for ten) watching a movie or just sitting awkwardly close, cuddling and talking in that weird voice. Sure, there’s one or two other couches we could pull together to hang out, but we don’t want to do that for two reasons: first of all, it would be rude to you. Since there’s ten of us and only two of you, we would probably dominate the noise level in the area and scare you away.2 It would make us happy to do so, but it would also leave us feeling a little rude. Second, if we didn’t end up dominating you out of the area, it would be incredibly awkward for us, even if we tried our best to ignore you.3
The problem with Cedarville University isn’t that it doesn’t have enough lounges. On the contrary, the school has more than enough lounges for people to study in/play games in/watch movies in if people would use them appropriately. The problem lies with the Awkward Couples that take up more than half of the lounges.4
Since I know this is probably a shocking revelation to you, finding out that the majority of the school can’t stand you, and since I’m also sure you have no idea how to correct this problem, I’ve provided some less-than-appealing (to you, not us. Though, trust me, they’re good for you.) suggestions for you to keep our lounges friendly to all ages.
- Leave room for Jesus. Really, you don’t need to be practically on top of each other. I know, you think that you’re so awkwardly close that no RA would dare confront you on the matter because it would be more awkward for the RA than it would be for you two. But use some discretion here. This isn’t some Biblical principle I’m calling you out on, it just seems like common sense to me. Is it really healthy for you two to be that close? I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with holding hands or even putting your arm (not to be confused with arms, the plural form) around your significant other. But here’s a good rule to abide by: if someone may be caused discomfort by what you’re doing, it’s probably not appropriate for a lounge.5
- Stop watching movies. I understand that Cedarville is a small campus in a small town that doesn’t provide a whole lot for entertainment, but there are other sources with which you may waste your time other than movies. For instance, how about actually talking to each other? Perhaps you could play a game. Anything, really, but watching movies all the time. Answer me this: how will you feel someday when your children ask you, “Mom, Dad, what did you two do in college to get to know each other before you got married?” and you’re forced to answer, “Nothing. Really—Nothing. Only the mindless, non-interactive activity of movie watching.”6
- Stop staring at each other. Don’t worry. They won’t disappear if you look away. And those blue eyes will always be there.7 Nobody’s going to gouge them out of her.8 And if someone is, you probably have more important things to be thinking about so, again, stop staring at each other and contact the authorities. Anyway, you’ve decided to not watch movies, which is good, but instead you spend your time staring awkwardly into each other’s eyes. I suppose there is a time and a place for this because some people do have magnificent eyes (take Kylee for example. I stare into her Baby Blues regularly, but I don’t think I weird anybody out by doing it…I mean, everybody loves her eyes), but it’s not in a lounge making everyone around you feel uncomfortable.9
- Hang out with other people. Turns out that when you become a couple with someone, the rest of your friends don’t drop off the planet. It’s true. We actually still want to hang out with you guys (so long as you’re not being disgusting and/or awkward). I hate it be the bearer of bad news, but not all relationships work out, especially those premature and immature ones that are basically built on you two sitting on each other. I’m not saying you’re going to break up, but there’s always that possibility. If that happens and you ditched all your friends when you met your Fancy, who do you have to fall back on? Look, even if you’re not going to break up and you’re quite sure you’re going to get married someday, you’re not off the hook; that’s still not healthy. You need friendships even after marriage (I know, it’s hard to believe).10
Those are just a few free alternatives. If you start spending money, the possibilities become endless, and we couldn’t be happier if you left campus.
All footnotes are courtesy of Jenna M. Woestman, the blogger responsible for most of the content at jennawoestman.com and who is an actual married woman.
1. So true. I concur, and since I’m married this makes me a marriage expert.
2. Which might not be a bad idea.
3. Creepy Couples are real unhealthy, not to mention totally creepy.
4. One time when I visited Cedarville, I saw like ten Lounge Couples in the DMC or whatever that place is called. TEN. That’s uncalled for.
5. I recommend leaving a Bible in between the two of you because it’s at least six inches wide and will pretty much always remind you to leave room for Jesus. My grandparents did this in college, and they actually have a picture of themselves standing outside a building with a Bible in between them. It’s pretty amazing, so you should follow their example.
6. Also, if you actually do wind up getting married, you may discover you don’t like this person much, that they mostly make you want to poke your eye out, because YOU NEVER TALKED TO THEM WHILE YOU WERE DATING.
7. Ew, sick.
8. Unless if Vikings overrun Cedarville, in which case you’re in trouble anyway.
9. I tried staring at Joey deeply into his eyes at our wedding…but since we never did it before then much it was kinda weird and sort of creepy. Plus he kept making slightly odd faces and telling me to “shhh” because I was trying to talk to him while Sister and Brother were singing, even though Pastor Steve had said we could talk if we wanted. (I’m pretty sure this will be a bone of contention until our dying day. He swears Pastor Steve didn’t say that, I say he did.) Anyways, all that to say you don’t have to stare creepily into one another’s eyes in order to get married.
10. Plus, if you ditch out on all your friends who will you have be your bridesmaids and groomsmen? You can’t just hire people for that job, it’s best if they’re friends. And if you have a ton of siblings and were planning on just picking them, that’s a total cop-out. You still do need friends. Trust me.
Culture Week at Chuck's and the Zoo That is Cedarville
02/05/09 12:58 PM
My friends and I have
noted a disturbing fact as of late. We are
constantly on display. Now, this may not come
as alarming to some of you. I guess in some
form or another, everyone is always on display.
But here at Cedarville, we sort of feel like
we're more on display; like we're attractions
in a zoo or something.
Every time I turn around, That Guy (you know who I'm talking about) is taking a picture of me, or videoing my friends and me having a conversation. If ever you look at him, he'll snap at you (he's not the best people person) and tell you, "Don't look at the camera. I'm not here!" Then he'll proceed to literally shove the camera into your face. Honestly, is a shot up my nose really necessary?
From the rumor weed I have attained that he's making a new "Come to Cedarville, We're Awesome Here" video. If that's true, props to him. Everyone should come to Cedarville, because we are awesome here. When compared to some 288 private and public universities all over the country, Cedarville ranked #1 in student satisfaction (and I know all three of those girls on that page)! I fully agree with that statistic because I'm fully satisfied here. Even still, the camera guy in my face is a bit excessive, and he's been filming this thing for over a semester now ... I've been on it countless times. Perhaps if he were a little more polite about it and not quite so creepy then nobody would mind, but he really was the talk of campus about a month back. It's sort of died down since then, but I still see him around.
We're not just on display for That Guy, though. There's tours going through all the time. Last time a tour walked by, which was about the third of fourth one I had accidently found myself in the middle of that week, I mentioned to Kylee, "Do you ever just feel like you're constantly on display? Like we're animals in a zoo or something." For some reason this cause her to start doing model poses. I'm not sure I see the correlation, but she finally stopped and agreed with me. But students, seriously, we want you to Cedarville. When you're a student here someday, you'll understand why it's kind of awkward to see a group of twenty high school students gawking at you like you're some kind of freak. "Mom, is that a real college student?!"
Anyway, this week is Culture Week here at Cedarville. The week where we have speakers come in to chapel to discuss diversity and other such good things. On Monday, Dr. Brown made a joke about this.
Every time I turn around, That Guy (you know who I'm talking about) is taking a picture of me, or videoing my friends and me having a conversation. If ever you look at him, he'll snap at you (he's not the best people person) and tell you, "Don't look at the camera. I'm not here!" Then he'll proceed to literally shove the camera into your face. Honestly, is a shot up my nose really necessary?
From the rumor weed I have attained that he's making a new "Come to Cedarville, We're Awesome Here" video. If that's true, props to him. Everyone should come to Cedarville, because we are awesome here. When compared to some 288 private and public universities all over the country, Cedarville ranked #1 in student satisfaction (and I know all three of those girls on that page)! I fully agree with that statistic because I'm fully satisfied here. Even still, the camera guy in my face is a bit excessive, and he's been filming this thing for over a semester now ... I've been on it countless times. Perhaps if he were a little more polite about it and not quite so creepy then nobody would mind, but he really was the talk of campus about a month back. It's sort of died down since then, but I still see him around.
We're not just on display for That Guy, though. There's tours going through all the time. Last time a tour walked by, which was about the third of fourth one I had accidently found myself in the middle of that week, I mentioned to Kylee, "Do you ever just feel like you're constantly on display? Like we're animals in a zoo or something." For some reason this cause her to start doing model poses. I'm not sure I see the correlation, but she finally stopped and agreed with me. But students, seriously, we want you to Cedarville. When you're a student here someday, you'll understand why it's kind of awkward to see a group of twenty high school students gawking at you like you're some kind of freak. "Mom, is that a real college student?!"
Anyway, this week is Culture Week here at Cedarville. The week where we have speakers come in to chapel to discuss diversity and other such good things. On Monday, Dr. Brown made a joke about this.
Certainly a funny picture. Half of the chapel
laughed because they thought the humor was in the
fact that Chanukah was spelled wrong (it's not ...
Jewish people can't eat Ham ... That's the joke), but
I digress. Less than twelve hours later, I
walked into Chuck's to participate in the Monday
night cultural event. I heard some sort of
Middle-Eastern music and saw that it was Indian food
tonight (and by Indian I do mean the country
India, not the less than politically correct Native
Americans). Apparently the point of the week is
to have a different culture represented at Dinner so
we can enjoy a diverse experience in Chuck's.
Here's the problem: I've found that Chuck's
"enlightenment" of the cultures is more of a disgrace
to whatever culture he chooses. It's horribly
stereotypical. For instance, on Soul Food
night, we are served mashed potatoes and gravy,
buiscuits, corn bread, collard beans, and fried
chicken while Christian rap renditions of secular
songs play over the speakers (for instance, J-Kwon’s
“Tipsy”). (If we wanted a truly cultural experience,
shouldn’t you be playing “Can I Get A ...” by Jay-Z,
Chuck?)
But Monday night, the very same day that Dr. Brown
had made his pointed joke about whatever that grocery
store was advertising Ham as a delicious addition to
your Chanukah, Chuck's serves Indian Beef. So I
googled it. There are recipes for Indian Beef. I
have no idea what it is, but it seems ironic to me
that, on the night we're representing the nation that
is known for being the largest Hindu nation in the
world, we are served beef; a nation that is known for
having meatless hamburgers at their McDonalds; a
nation that sued a Japanese airline for serving beef
on a connecting flight.
Perhaps it's my own naivity, but why was beef served
on the night we were being enlightened on the Indian
culture?
Despite this week being lousy at Chuck's, we still
have the highest student satisfaction, not because of
our food during weeks such as these, but because of
the Cedarville environment. Just come visit and
you'll see that. We all love it here, and we're
willing to put up with silly little things like this
simply because the school itself is so
stellar.
Pungent Thoughts, One Blood, and Barack Obama
01/29/09 09:24 PM
Two roads diverged
in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference in the world
It's certainly not scripture, but we can still learn a valuable lesson from the closing line of Frost's poem, “The Road Not Taken.” Something that has always jumped out at me. He didn't come to the crossroads and say, "I stood there waiting indefinitely or at least until someone else made a decision for me."
How can it be that people remain indecisive about such pertinant matters? I can understand when you struggle to decide which sandwich to eat, or whether or not to attend a concert, but how can people idly sit by and let a decision that effects nearly every aspect of their life be left to life's circumstances? In the matter of voting, a lot of people think that their vote won’t matter because they aren’t in a swing state, or they can’t decide between the two candidates so they’d rather just let someone else make a choice for them. The first reason is no excuse, and I’m a little more prone to accept the second if and only if I don’t hear a complaint or praise out of your mouth over the decision for the next four years. If you don’t like something Obama does (or, really, even if you do) in the next four years but you didn’t vote for or against him, you gave up your right to have an opinion. Now, annoyingly, America still gives you that right, and I still have to put up with it.
The thing about indecision is, you think you're taking control by distancing yourself, but in reality you're giving control to everyone else around you. You've been given an amazing freedom and an amazing right in this country, and it bothers me how little people care about that. Whether you like it or not, your inability to make a decision is essentially you consigning your life to everyone else in the world. For you, the wonderful thing about America is that you have just as much of a right not to vote as you do to vote. A vote that someone in a communist country may have given their life for.
I guess I should touch on the “one blood” part of this rant. Ryan a book of that title in which it is proposed that all humans are of one blood. As in, we’re all from Adam and Eve at some point. True story, but the book continues to go on and argue that there’s no such thing as race, and that we’re all exactly alike because we’re from one blood. There’s only one race, and that is the human race. I’ve heard this proposition a few times from speakers in our chapel and in other Christian circles, and this thought really bothers me.
Those attempting to adhere to the fact that there is only one race and ethnicity is irrelevant are living in the past. Maybe in the 1800s that’s what the word “race” meant, but definitions change. You can’t just decide your definition of a word isn’t going to change with the culture. If you’re going to play that game, try to say “faggot” or “gay” in front of a homosexual and see how far that gets you.
Definitions change. Currently, “race” means “each of the major divisions of humankind, having distinct physical characteristics.” That’s the definition. So why would you write an entire book trying to argue a definition? Write about a book about racism, write a book about being counter-cultural, but a book arguing that a definition is wrong is just silly. There are people with darker skin from other parts of the world. There are people with different noses, different eyes, and different hair, and that’s wonderful!
I love the old-school Michael W. Smith song “Color Blind,” but I disagree with its message. It wouldn’t be better if we could all be color blind. We’re all of the humankind, yes, but we’re many of us of a different race, and that’s the beauty of God’s creation. Kristi is short and from the Philippines, and I wouldn’t have her any other way, dark-skin, long black hair and all. If she was any other way, she wouldn’t be Kristi.
All races are equal, I completely believe that, and that’s one of the points Ken Ham is trying to get across on some level, but the extent to which he goes to say this, and the fact that he’s arguing with an indisputable fact (that someone from Ethiopia, by definition, is a different race than me) just doesn’t work for me. That, and I don’t agree with half the examples he uses. And he’s barking up the wrong tree. The problem isn’t race. Race is just another way for God to display his creativity and beauty. The issue is hatred, jealousy, and ultimately sin.
Transitioning very rapidly to a slightly different subject, I found it special, and something that I had previously taken for granted, that the day President Barack Obama was inaugurated was the day after Martin Luther Kind Day. Whether you voted for Obama, agree with his policies, or think he’s the devil himself (yes, someone told me that in seriousness), you still have to give credit to the significance of having our first African American president. Many of our parents and grandparents can clearly remember the days when black people were not allowed to walk beside white people or drink out of the same drinking fountain. Today, equality rules the nation, and where millions of black people were beaten, tortured, and not even considered human, there now stands an African American who is ruling our great nation.
Then there’s those of you who would say we don’t have a great nation. After all, how could a great nation vote such a stark, black liberal into office? (And some of you are offended by that sentence. Good. That’s the proper reaction.) Some of you think that a great nation couldn’t vote someone into office that so quickly signed FOCA and who’s party is for the advancement of choice in defining marriage. I think it’s for those reasons that we’re a great country.
Allow me to elaborate. I am utterly against homosexuality and the mass murder of unborn babies. Not because I’m against you as a person if you agree with those things, but because I believe, in alignment with my relationship with Jesus Christ, that homosexuality and abortion are morally wrong. But this is where it becomes difficult for me. America is not a Christian nation. America never was a Christian nation. It was founded on moral principles by deists and freemasons. And to this begs the philosophical question, “What is morality?” Is it something defined by an all-powerful, all-loving God who’s character is impeccable? Or is it defined by a society and what it chooses to be right and wrong? Well, I know what I believe, but what I believe is not the belief of this country. This country is free. Though the country was founded on moral principles and many of the founding fathers were deists, the country was founded on the principles of freedom. So, tell me, in the name of freedom, religion and morality aside, do you have a choice to marry who you want? Do you have a choice to rid yourself of that baby?
Now, I love babies. Sadly, babies don’t love me. And it saddens me that millions upon millions of babies are killed every year. I believe life starts at conception. There’s no doubt in my mind that abortion is murder. But what if the vast majority of our country rules that, even if life is at conception, taking the life of an unborn infant should be the choice of the mother? Should we allow her that choice? If morality for a non-religious person truly is determined by society, this would be a perfectly natural and free turn for America to make.
I don’t like talking about unborn babies so flippantly, but that and the decision of homosexual marriage do bring interesting thoughts to my mind when I realize I don’t live in a Christian nation. What would happen if these things did happen? How would I feel about it? I would be saddened by it and I would try to protect the lives of unborn babies. They have just as much of a right to live as anyone else. But not everyone else believes the same as me. And I don’t recall anywhere in the Bible God telling me to live in a world surrounded by those who have the same ideals, morals, and beliefs as myself. I’m blessed to live in a free country, a country where you have a right to choose your lifestyle, and that blessing comes with heavy potential burdens attached to it.
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference in the world
It's certainly not scripture, but we can still learn a valuable lesson from the closing line of Frost's poem, “The Road Not Taken.” Something that has always jumped out at me. He didn't come to the crossroads and say, "I stood there waiting indefinitely or at least until someone else made a decision for me."
How can it be that people remain indecisive about such pertinant matters? I can understand when you struggle to decide which sandwich to eat, or whether or not to attend a concert, but how can people idly sit by and let a decision that effects nearly every aspect of their life be left to life's circumstances? In the matter of voting, a lot of people think that their vote won’t matter because they aren’t in a swing state, or they can’t decide between the two candidates so they’d rather just let someone else make a choice for them. The first reason is no excuse, and I’m a little more prone to accept the second if and only if I don’t hear a complaint or praise out of your mouth over the decision for the next four years. If you don’t like something Obama does (or, really, even if you do) in the next four years but you didn’t vote for or against him, you gave up your right to have an opinion. Now, annoyingly, America still gives you that right, and I still have to put up with it.
The thing about indecision is, you think you're taking control by distancing yourself, but in reality you're giving control to everyone else around you. You've been given an amazing freedom and an amazing right in this country, and it bothers me how little people care about that. Whether you like it or not, your inability to make a decision is essentially you consigning your life to everyone else in the world. For you, the wonderful thing about America is that you have just as much of a right not to vote as you do to vote. A vote that someone in a communist country may have given their life for.
I guess I should touch on the “one blood” part of this rant. Ryan a book of that title in which it is proposed that all humans are of one blood. As in, we’re all from Adam and Eve at some point. True story, but the book continues to go on and argue that there’s no such thing as race, and that we’re all exactly alike because we’re from one blood. There’s only one race, and that is the human race. I’ve heard this proposition a few times from speakers in our chapel and in other Christian circles, and this thought really bothers me.
Those attempting to adhere to the fact that there is only one race and ethnicity is irrelevant are living in the past. Maybe in the 1800s that’s what the word “race” meant, but definitions change. You can’t just decide your definition of a word isn’t going to change with the culture. If you’re going to play that game, try to say “faggot” or “gay” in front of a homosexual and see how far that gets you.
Definitions change. Currently, “race” means “each of the major divisions of humankind, having distinct physical characteristics.” That’s the definition. So why would you write an entire book trying to argue a definition? Write about a book about racism, write a book about being counter-cultural, but a book arguing that a definition is wrong is just silly. There are people with darker skin from other parts of the world. There are people with different noses, different eyes, and different hair, and that’s wonderful!
I love the old-school Michael W. Smith song “Color Blind,” but I disagree with its message. It wouldn’t be better if we could all be color blind. We’re all of the humankind, yes, but we’re many of us of a different race, and that’s the beauty of God’s creation. Kristi is short and from the Philippines, and I wouldn’t have her any other way, dark-skin, long black hair and all. If she was any other way, she wouldn’t be Kristi.
All races are equal, I completely believe that, and that’s one of the points Ken Ham is trying to get across on some level, but the extent to which he goes to say this, and the fact that he’s arguing with an indisputable fact (that someone from Ethiopia, by definition, is a different race than me) just doesn’t work for me. That, and I don’t agree with half the examples he uses. And he’s barking up the wrong tree. The problem isn’t race. Race is just another way for God to display his creativity and beauty. The issue is hatred, jealousy, and ultimately sin.
Transitioning very rapidly to a slightly different subject, I found it special, and something that I had previously taken for granted, that the day President Barack Obama was inaugurated was the day after Martin Luther Kind Day. Whether you voted for Obama, agree with his policies, or think he’s the devil himself (yes, someone told me that in seriousness), you still have to give credit to the significance of having our first African American president. Many of our parents and grandparents can clearly remember the days when black people were not allowed to walk beside white people or drink out of the same drinking fountain. Today, equality rules the nation, and where millions of black people were beaten, tortured, and not even considered human, there now stands an African American who is ruling our great nation.
Then there’s those of you who would say we don’t have a great nation. After all, how could a great nation vote such a stark, black liberal into office? (And some of you are offended by that sentence. Good. That’s the proper reaction.) Some of you think that a great nation couldn’t vote someone into office that so quickly signed FOCA and who’s party is for the advancement of choice in defining marriage. I think it’s for those reasons that we’re a great country.
Allow me to elaborate. I am utterly against homosexuality and the mass murder of unborn babies. Not because I’m against you as a person if you agree with those things, but because I believe, in alignment with my relationship with Jesus Christ, that homosexuality and abortion are morally wrong. But this is where it becomes difficult for me. America is not a Christian nation. America never was a Christian nation. It was founded on moral principles by deists and freemasons. And to this begs the philosophical question, “What is morality?” Is it something defined by an all-powerful, all-loving God who’s character is impeccable? Or is it defined by a society and what it chooses to be right and wrong? Well, I know what I believe, but what I believe is not the belief of this country. This country is free. Though the country was founded on moral principles and many of the founding fathers were deists, the country was founded on the principles of freedom. So, tell me, in the name of freedom, religion and morality aside, do you have a choice to marry who you want? Do you have a choice to rid yourself of that baby?
Now, I love babies. Sadly, babies don’t love me. And it saddens me that millions upon millions of babies are killed every year. I believe life starts at conception. There’s no doubt in my mind that abortion is murder. But what if the vast majority of our country rules that, even if life is at conception, taking the life of an unborn infant should be the choice of the mother? Should we allow her that choice? If morality for a non-religious person truly is determined by society, this would be a perfectly natural and free turn for America to make.
I don’t like talking about unborn babies so flippantly, but that and the decision of homosexual marriage do bring interesting thoughts to my mind when I realize I don’t live in a Christian nation. What would happen if these things did happen? How would I feel about it? I would be saddened by it and I would try to protect the lives of unborn babies. They have just as much of a right to live as anyone else. But not everyone else believes the same as me. And I don’t recall anywhere in the Bible God telling me to live in a world surrounded by those who have the same ideals, morals, and beliefs as myself. I’m blessed to live in a free country, a country where you have a right to choose your lifestyle, and that blessing comes with heavy potential burdens attached to it.
This Site is Bogus
01/23/09 04:12 PM
The subject says it
all. So Jenna was successful in making one of those
cool “Celebrity Look-Alike” things, and not to be
left out, Kylee and I did one too. It failed horribly
for me. Over half of the options it picked for me
were women. I mean, I’d like to think I’m as
attractive as Penelope Cruz, but I’m not. It’s worse
though. It’s not just that Penelope Cruz (and five
other girls) was one of the options. No, she was chosen
as the one that I most resemble ... 73%. On top of
that, three of the guys it actually chose have facial
hair, and a lot of it. This site is bogus.
Kylee’s was better. At least she got all girls picked for her.
Kylee’s was better. At least she got all girls picked for her.
Girlfriend Potential Test
12/23/08 01:06 PM
In recent months, I’ve
had droves of attractive ladies ask me, “Alex, how
can I become your girlfriend?” Due to my extreme
popularity, I haven’t had time to give any of them a
proper answer up until now. But now I have the
answer. The following is the Girlfriend Potential
Test. You must receive an adequate score on this exam
in order to be considered Girlfriend Potential.
“Adequate” is decided by myself and, of course, my
sister, Jenna, who has protective custody over my
relationship status. This exam has been adapted from
several tests I’ve seen scattered around the
internet, but it is mostly the creation of myself and
Jenna.
Overview and Instructions
The following exam will be administered to all females that are interested in the pursuit of a relationship with one Alex Laird of Cedarville University in Ohio. Only those exams completed by a female in under the alloted fifty-minute time limit will be reviewed. You will be graded on grammar, spelling, creativity, the ability to construct a proper sentence, and lastly your overall appearance. Please submit all answers via email in a text document as an attachment to both alexdlaird@gmail.com and jenna.woestman@gmail.com. Be sure to mark the email as Urgent and put “'Student’s Name' - Girlfriend Potential Test” in the subject line, replacing 'Student’s Name' with your actual name. Include a decent, personal photograph with a minimum resolution of 800x600. Please ensure that your name, number, state of residence, and most recent IQ score are displayed prominently in the upper right-hand corner of the paper. When submitting the completed exam, each question should be copied and pasted with your answer promptly following it.
Please keep in mind that this is not a job application. However, your performance on this exam will very accurately portray your cleverness and most likely your ability to succeed when put in a real work environment. I reserve the right to submit your exam results to any future employer as either a recommendation of your abilities or in jest to show them what you aren’t capable of.
You have fifty minutes to complete this test. Your time starts now.
Section One: Multiple Choice (Answer All, 30 Points)
1.) Finish this lyric. “Apple bottom jeans ...”
A.) With the fur. The whole club was looking at her.
B.) Make me look, like, real hot.
C.) OMG I love that song!
D.) Heaven preserve us ... I’m not finishing that lyric. Do you realize Flo Rida’s name is just Florida with a space dropped in randomly?
2.) I’m going to college:
A.) To get my M-R-S degree.
B.) So I can get a good education and make a difference in the world someday.
C.) Because my parents are paying for it, so why not? I don’t actually plan on applying myself at all.
D.) Because I figured it was better than working at McDonald’s.
E.) ... Wait. I’m not going to college, actually.
3.) We’ve talked every night for several hours (not including the Dinner and a movie we had on Saturday, or the Monday night that I came over and we baked cookies), with conversation time averaging about an hour per night. On a Thursday night, when on a deadline, I express a need to get off the phone so I can finish some work and get to bed at a reasonable hour. You:
A.) Take this as a sign that I’m abandoning you, begin to point out all my flaws and that I clearly have commitment issues, and then cry.
B.) Say goodbye, but manage to do it with such menace and venom that I stay on the phone for another three silent hours, broken only occasionally by fits of gentle weeping and muttered curses.
C.) Say goodbye, but then immediately embark on another conversation entirely, discussing it as thoroughly as is scientifically, legally, or religiously possible so I can’t get a word in edge-wise.
D.) Express your feelings of devotion in three words or less, then quickly say goodbye after confirming plans for tomorrow night are still on.
4.) We’re having a fight. You:
A.) Use my past stupidities against me, even though they are completely irrelevant, I’ve apologized for them, and you said you had forgiven me several months prior.
B.) Give me space when the discussion gets too heated for rational thought, and redress your complaints in a calm manner when we’ve both had a chance to cool down.
C.) Flip me The Bird.
D.) Realize the fight is about nothing, so you begin creating fictional problems and making wild accusations about my obsession with material goods and having a wandering eye.
E.) Both c and d.
5.) I’m going out on a Friday night to hang with a bunch of my buddies. You:
A.) Immediately assume there will be female buddies there as well, that I’m in love with one of them, and become irrationally jealous. You never verbalize this too me, so I’m only lost as you stomp around my apartment and give me the cold shoulder.
B.) See this as a great opportunity to get some things done without me around.
C.) See this as a sign that you are probably just a casual thing that I could toss aside at any given moment, despite the fact that we’ve hung out the last seven evenings and I’ve still somehow managed to write you letters every other day this week.
D.) Ask if you can come along.
E.) Invite yourself and a bunch of your girlfriends along without asking my permission.
F.) Have a girls night. Hanging out with boys all the time isn’t good for anyone.
G.) Both b and f.
6.) In order to attract a male, you would:
A.) Act like a complete ditz. Guys love ditzy girls!
B.) Act superior and arrogant. Guys love it when they’re inferior to a woman.
C.) Act like yourself. Guys love it when a girl is genuine and they don’t have to figure out who she really is after they’ve already fallen for whatever show she put on when they first met.
D.) Wear the least amount of fabric as is legally possible. Guys love seductive girls.
7.) You would date a guy because:
A.) He was extremely attractive. (Hint: This is the wrong answer. God made girls to be attractive, not guys.)
B.) He’s smart!
C.) He’ll probably be rich someday, or he is rich currently.
D.) He was manipulative and somehow managed to convince you that you were in love with him ... So I guess you’re supposed to date?
E.) You had compatible personalities, were able to resolve misunderstandings without the obligatory fist fights, and you found yourself quite smitten with who he was.
8.) You buy clothes based on:
A.) Seventeen Magazine’s top picks.
B.) What’s cute and comfortable and doesn’t look like the sewing machine ran out of thread when it reached your midriff.
C.) Whatever’s newest at Abercrombie.
D.) Nothing. My mom makes them for me.
9.) You’re going clothes shopping, and the only option you have is to take me with you. You:
A.) Ignore the fact that I’m completely and hopelessly bored out of my mind, asking me repeatedly with every outfit you try on, “Does this make me look fat?”
B.) Come up with a creative game plan to help me enjoy shopping with you, keeping in mind that my retail-oriented attention span is about twelve minutes and that I am prone to wandering after flashing lights and shiny things.
C.) Attempt to keep the shopping experience as short as possible, getting only what you absolutely need and trying things on only the minimum number of times (in my opinion, not yours).
D.) Both b and c.
E.) Spontaneously add stores to the list every time we’re about to approach the “almost done” mark. These stores were not discussed prior to leaving the apartment.
10.) Assuming things without asking me to confirm them, and/or making wild and negative accusations off of single statements I make (probably sarcastic statements, at that), and/or putting words in my mouth, and/or twisting words I have previously said to make them sound derogatory:
A.) Are all necessary to a healthy relationship and help spur constructive criticism and beneficial arguments.
B.) Are expected and rational things to do, especially when you feel cornered or as if you may be losing an argument.
C.) May be good or bad, depending on your current mood, how your week has been going, and whether I asked you about your current mood and how your week has been going.
D.) Are all completely inappropriate and should never be done under any circumstances. Rational thought is required in every conversation, whether an argument or just casual.
Section Two: True or False (Answer All, 30 Points)
Answer true or false for the following fifteen questions. If you answer false, correct the statement to make it true.
1.) Wearing a skirt overtop a pair of pants is an attractive and fashionable choice.
2.) Learning to interpret body language and communication cues is important.
3.) Arguments are vital to any good relationship.
4.) Discussions are vital to any good relationship.
5.) Arguments and discussions are the same thing.
6.) Your cat is very intuitive--probably as intuitive, if not more so, than myself.
7.) Demetri Martin is the best comedian of all time.
8.) A proper relationship requires effort from both sides.
9.) Rationale and reason are the same thing.
10.) You don’t actually need that dress, cute hat, or additional pair of shoes.
11.) Any argument can always be resolved with the proper amount of yelling if the words are vulgar or incoherent.
12.) Properly constructed sentences are important when attempting to persuade someone in a discussion.
13.) Bono is probably the most important political figure of our generation.
14.) Throwing furniture is a legitimate alternative to constructive conversation.
15.) Your conversation with me, in person, is more important than any and all of the texting conversations within your mobile device.
Section Three: Essay (Answer One, 40 Points)
Select one of the following questions and answer it as thoroughly as time will allow. Please try to be as descriptive and complete as possible, including at least two persuading arguments to support your case. Arguments should be backed up with cited evidence, not anecdotal perspective.
1.) If I were a crime-fighting vigilante by night, what efforts would you make to support my case about the rising threat of evil in this city?
2.) Give evidence, citing sources and giving references whenever possible, that you are a laid back person with a good sense of humor, including the ability to appreciate sarcasm.
3.) What is the likelihood that, if called upon to serve your country, you would be able to broker world peace using your charm and good looks alone?
Overview and Instructions
The following exam will be administered to all females that are interested in the pursuit of a relationship with one Alex Laird of Cedarville University in Ohio. Only those exams completed by a female in under the alloted fifty-minute time limit will be reviewed. You will be graded on grammar, spelling, creativity, the ability to construct a proper sentence, and lastly your overall appearance. Please submit all answers via email in a text document as an attachment to both alexdlaird@gmail.com and jenna.woestman@gmail.com. Be sure to mark the email as Urgent and put “'Student’s Name' - Girlfriend Potential Test” in the subject line, replacing 'Student’s Name' with your actual name. Include a decent, personal photograph with a minimum resolution of 800x600. Please ensure that your name, number, state of residence, and most recent IQ score are displayed prominently in the upper right-hand corner of the paper. When submitting the completed exam, each question should be copied and pasted with your answer promptly following it.
Please keep in mind that this is not a job application. However, your performance on this exam will very accurately portray your cleverness and most likely your ability to succeed when put in a real work environment. I reserve the right to submit your exam results to any future employer as either a recommendation of your abilities or in jest to show them what you aren’t capable of.
You have fifty minutes to complete this test. Your time starts now.
Section One: Multiple Choice (Answer All, 30 Points)
1.) Finish this lyric. “Apple bottom jeans ...”
A.) With the fur. The whole club was looking at her.
B.) Make me look, like, real hot.
C.) OMG I love that song!
D.) Heaven preserve us ... I’m not finishing that lyric. Do you realize Flo Rida’s name is just Florida with a space dropped in randomly?
2.) I’m going to college:
A.) To get my M-R-S degree.
B.) So I can get a good education and make a difference in the world someday.
C.) Because my parents are paying for it, so why not? I don’t actually plan on applying myself at all.
D.) Because I figured it was better than working at McDonald’s.
E.) ... Wait. I’m not going to college, actually.
3.) We’ve talked every night for several hours (not including the Dinner and a movie we had on Saturday, or the Monday night that I came over and we baked cookies), with conversation time averaging about an hour per night. On a Thursday night, when on a deadline, I express a need to get off the phone so I can finish some work and get to bed at a reasonable hour. You:
A.) Take this as a sign that I’m abandoning you, begin to point out all my flaws and that I clearly have commitment issues, and then cry.
B.) Say goodbye, but manage to do it with such menace and venom that I stay on the phone for another three silent hours, broken only occasionally by fits of gentle weeping and muttered curses.
C.) Say goodbye, but then immediately embark on another conversation entirely, discussing it as thoroughly as is scientifically, legally, or religiously possible so I can’t get a word in edge-wise.
D.) Express your feelings of devotion in three words or less, then quickly say goodbye after confirming plans for tomorrow night are still on.
4.) We’re having a fight. You:
A.) Use my past stupidities against me, even though they are completely irrelevant, I’ve apologized for them, and you said you had forgiven me several months prior.
B.) Give me space when the discussion gets too heated for rational thought, and redress your complaints in a calm manner when we’ve both had a chance to cool down.
C.) Flip me The Bird.
D.) Realize the fight is about nothing, so you begin creating fictional problems and making wild accusations about my obsession with material goods and having a wandering eye.
E.) Both c and d.
5.) I’m going out on a Friday night to hang with a bunch of my buddies. You:
A.) Immediately assume there will be female buddies there as well, that I’m in love with one of them, and become irrationally jealous. You never verbalize this too me, so I’m only lost as you stomp around my apartment and give me the cold shoulder.
B.) See this as a great opportunity to get some things done without me around.
C.) See this as a sign that you are probably just a casual thing that I could toss aside at any given moment, despite the fact that we’ve hung out the last seven evenings and I’ve still somehow managed to write you letters every other day this week.
D.) Ask if you can come along.
E.) Invite yourself and a bunch of your girlfriends along without asking my permission.
F.) Have a girls night. Hanging out with boys all the time isn’t good for anyone.
G.) Both b and f.
6.) In order to attract a male, you would:
A.) Act like a complete ditz. Guys love ditzy girls!
B.) Act superior and arrogant. Guys love it when they’re inferior to a woman.
C.) Act like yourself. Guys love it when a girl is genuine and they don’t have to figure out who she really is after they’ve already fallen for whatever show she put on when they first met.
D.) Wear the least amount of fabric as is legally possible. Guys love seductive girls.
7.) You would date a guy because:
A.) He was extremely attractive. (Hint: This is the wrong answer. God made girls to be attractive, not guys.)
B.) He’s smart!
C.) He’ll probably be rich someday, or he is rich currently.
D.) He was manipulative and somehow managed to convince you that you were in love with him ... So I guess you’re supposed to date?
E.) You had compatible personalities, were able to resolve misunderstandings without the obligatory fist fights, and you found yourself quite smitten with who he was.
8.) You buy clothes based on:
A.) Seventeen Magazine’s top picks.
B.) What’s cute and comfortable and doesn’t look like the sewing machine ran out of thread when it reached your midriff.
C.) Whatever’s newest at Abercrombie.
D.) Nothing. My mom makes them for me.
9.) You’re going clothes shopping, and the only option you have is to take me with you. You:
A.) Ignore the fact that I’m completely and hopelessly bored out of my mind, asking me repeatedly with every outfit you try on, “Does this make me look fat?”
B.) Come up with a creative game plan to help me enjoy shopping with you, keeping in mind that my retail-oriented attention span is about twelve minutes and that I am prone to wandering after flashing lights and shiny things.
C.) Attempt to keep the shopping experience as short as possible, getting only what you absolutely need and trying things on only the minimum number of times (in my opinion, not yours).
D.) Both b and c.
E.) Spontaneously add stores to the list every time we’re about to approach the “almost done” mark. These stores were not discussed prior to leaving the apartment.
10.) Assuming things without asking me to confirm them, and/or making wild and negative accusations off of single statements I make (probably sarcastic statements, at that), and/or putting words in my mouth, and/or twisting words I have previously said to make them sound derogatory:
A.) Are all necessary to a healthy relationship and help spur constructive criticism and beneficial arguments.
B.) Are expected and rational things to do, especially when you feel cornered or as if you may be losing an argument.
C.) May be good or bad, depending on your current mood, how your week has been going, and whether I asked you about your current mood and how your week has been going.
D.) Are all completely inappropriate and should never be done under any circumstances. Rational thought is required in every conversation, whether an argument or just casual.
Section Two: True or False (Answer All, 30 Points)
Answer true or false for the following fifteen questions. If you answer false, correct the statement to make it true.
1.) Wearing a skirt overtop a pair of pants is an attractive and fashionable choice.
2.) Learning to interpret body language and communication cues is important.
3.) Arguments are vital to any good relationship.
4.) Discussions are vital to any good relationship.
5.) Arguments and discussions are the same thing.
6.) Your cat is very intuitive--probably as intuitive, if not more so, than myself.
7.) Demetri Martin is the best comedian of all time.
8.) A proper relationship requires effort from both sides.
9.) Rationale and reason are the same thing.
10.) You don’t actually need that dress, cute hat, or additional pair of shoes.
11.) Any argument can always be resolved with the proper amount of yelling if the words are vulgar or incoherent.
12.) Properly constructed sentences are important when attempting to persuade someone in a discussion.
13.) Bono is probably the most important political figure of our generation.
14.) Throwing furniture is a legitimate alternative to constructive conversation.
15.) Your conversation with me, in person, is more important than any and all of the texting conversations within your mobile device.
Section Three: Essay (Answer One, 40 Points)
Select one of the following questions and answer it as thoroughly as time will allow. Please try to be as descriptive and complete as possible, including at least two persuading arguments to support your case. Arguments should be backed up with cited evidence, not anecdotal perspective.
1.) If I were a crime-fighting vigilante by night, what efforts would you make to support my case about the rising threat of evil in this city?
2.) Give evidence, citing sources and giving references whenever possible, that you are a laid back person with a good sense of humor, including the ability to appreciate sarcasm.
3.) What is the likelihood that, if called upon to serve your country, you would be able to broker world peace using your charm and good looks alone?
Sixteen Random Facts About Myself
12/05/08 03:36 PM
Alright, fine. Jessica,
you win.
I have this policy against doing such things as these, but I decided I would oblige and respond anyway. But don't think I'm happy about this. Below are sixteen random facts about myself and then sixteen people that I think are awesome. That's the gist of this.
I wish there had been seventeen. I would have then made one ironic one which only said, “I am very long-winded.” Unfortunately, there are only sixteen, and I didn’t want to part with any of them.
One – Friends and family are what I cherish most on Earth. I love spending time with the people that are closest to me, talking and listening. I have one brother, two sisters, and two parents. My siblings are and always will be my very best friends.
Two – I'm majoring in Computer Science, and I'm just nerdy enough to work on side programming projects as well as the required projects from Cedarville. I also love web and graphic design.
Three – I love music. I love movies. I love literature. I consider all of these things art, and I love art. I love the meaning and the interpreting that can be drawn from good art, especially music, and I feel that good art is the most influential thing that can be used to sway a persons opinions and emotions. Just look at the Bible. It's magnificent literature is art. On that note, I'd much rather watch a profound, powerful movie than a movie that mindlessly entertains with cliche humor any day.
Four – I love a good debate, and I love constructive and creative writing. One of my biggest pet peeves is poor writing, especially when someone is trying to use their writing to prove a point. I refuse to listen to your point, no matter how good it may be, if you don't take the time to construct a proper sentence and capitalize your words.
Five – I love pizza. I could probably survive just on pizza (and die early from it) and be completely content. Also, I love soda. I drink it way too much.
Six – I have a tattoo with Greek writing on my wrist. It reads Doulos Xristou Ihsou, which translates to Bondslave of Christ Jesus; what I aim to be with my lifestyle.
Seven – I played the violin for five and a half years. This one isn't nearly long enough, so I'm also going to throw in this one for free: I love small children, but unfortunately they usually don't love me. Babies cry when I hold them and as they get older they just seem to be scared of me. Junior and Senior High students, on the other hand, do tend to love me, and someday I want to work with the Youth Group of some church to affect the lives of the next generations as much as those cool twenty-somethings effected mine when I was in high school.
Eight – I really can't stand the cold, but I also hate layers. This is an extremely difficult contradiction when you live in Iowa and go to school in Ohio. Someday I'd love to live somewhere warm near the coast, such as Florida or California. The trouble is I can't stand the liberal whackos that live in California, and I don't think I could ever raise children in that environment.
Nine – On that note, I also can't stand the stark legalism of close-minded, judgmental, right-wing politics either. I choose not to advertise my political views, especially after this last election, as they generally appear to be contradictory to the stereotypical Christian standard. They aren't necessarily, but some people have a difficult time disjointing themselves from their own beliefs long enough to observe the perspective of mine. I guess what you could say is that I despise stereotypes in almost any shape or form.
Ten – I love complete strangers, and I love getting to know people. I'm generally not ashamed of making a fool of myself, so I'll gladly strike up a conversation with anybody.
Eleven – I love wit, sarcasm, and most of the genres humor takes on. Sometimes people don't get along with me right away (or at all) because they take me too seriously, but my motto is, "Only take seriously what life requires." By that I mean that there are certainly times when life requires you to be serious, and to joke around under such circumstances is completely inappropriate. Most of the rest of the situations life will throw at you are probably neutral, and I choose to take them as light heartedly as possible.
Twelve – I love photography and videography, both viewing and capturing. If you ever find a video that the editing and content are simply amazing, or a photograph that is breathtaking, feel free to share it with me.
Thirteen – I love a good adventure (I stole that right from you, Jenna). Whether it's risky, crazy, or just plain insane, I'll probably still be willing to do it. You only live life once, and I intend to take Ecclesiastes as seriously as possible while attempting to maintain a model of the character of Jesus Christ. I have a crazy sister named Jenna who has a nearly identical personality to my own, and we get along very well in this manner. Ashley and Andrew, my other two siblings, also have very similar personalities to each other. Ironically, Jenna's and my personalities are frequently in contrast to Ashley and Andrew's personalities, but we still get along great!
Fourteen – I've never been clinically diagnosed with ADD or ADHD, but every amateur test I've ever taken (and perhaps the inconsistent thought patterns I have) evidences that I probably have one of the two, which is probably why each "one" of these random facts is turning out to be more than one. I'm also highly obsessive compulsive, and I like my personal matters, physical and emotional, to be as organized as possible.
Fifteen – I love playing games if it means I get to spend time with you, but I'm really quite bad at them. Luckily, I'm not very competitive either, so I don't mind losing.
Sixteen – I'm the only person I know of that has ever successfully managed to be myself. All other attempts at being me have not only failed, but have failed miserably, usually leaving the attempter as an emotional wreck. Please do not ever try to be me. Try to be like me, if you must, but don't try to actually be me. It can only end in disaster.
So there you have it. I hope you enjoyed getting to know me by reading a post instead of conversing with me in person :).
Jessica - Because you practically forced me to write this thing and would have sent me on a guilt trip if I hadn’t *glare*.
Krista - Because you and I share a common love for photography, camp, and Ben. And you’re one of my favorite people.
Ben - Because I love you and you’re not only the best boss anyone could ever ask for, you’re the best friend!
Tyson - Because you remind me of chicken, and I love chicken. It tastes good. Hey, no hard feelings about Ben being the best boss, right?
Joe - Because I miss our meaningful and deep discussions that we had so frequently this summer about.
Kylee - Because you’ve lived twenty minutes away from me for my entire life and I’m sad that I didn’t even meet you until last year, especially since you make such a fantabulous friend!
Emilie - Because you’re the most amazing Freshman on campus, and you also live just twenty minutes away from me. Whether you get to play a lot or not, I still think you’re the best at volleyball.
Kelsey - Because if it weren’t for you, I probably never would have heard about or come to the lovely Cedarville University. Thank you!
Kristi - Because you’re short and feisty, a great friend, and you give the best hugs.
Ryan - Because you have that adorable baby face and I always have a good time with you.
Dave - Because you’re the only person I could think of that would take the latter part of the seventh one completely out of context.
Griffin - Because you’re not in the book, and I just met you this year, so I thought you might be interested in the deepest, darkest secrets of my life.
Gabe - Because I just saw you walk by the Bible building and you’re such an attractive man.
Jenna - Because you’re the only family member that I figured would actually post a response to this yourself.
Evan - Because you’re coming here next year. You do realize you don’t have a choice, right?
Megan - Because you can’t eat Gluten and you let us use your house to cook anyway.
I have this policy against doing such things as these, but I decided I would oblige and respond anyway. But don't think I'm happy about this. Below are sixteen random facts about myself and then sixteen people that I think are awesome. That's the gist of this.
I wish there had been seventeen. I would have then made one ironic one which only said, “I am very long-winded.” Unfortunately, there are only sixteen, and I didn’t want to part with any of them.
One – Friends and family are what I cherish most on Earth. I love spending time with the people that are closest to me, talking and listening. I have one brother, two sisters, and two parents. My siblings are and always will be my very best friends.
Two – I'm majoring in Computer Science, and I'm just nerdy enough to work on side programming projects as well as the required projects from Cedarville. I also love web and graphic design.
Three – I love music. I love movies. I love literature. I consider all of these things art, and I love art. I love the meaning and the interpreting that can be drawn from good art, especially music, and I feel that good art is the most influential thing that can be used to sway a persons opinions and emotions. Just look at the Bible. It's magnificent literature is art. On that note, I'd much rather watch a profound, powerful movie than a movie that mindlessly entertains with cliche humor any day.
Four – I love a good debate, and I love constructive and creative writing. One of my biggest pet peeves is poor writing, especially when someone is trying to use their writing to prove a point. I refuse to listen to your point, no matter how good it may be, if you don't take the time to construct a proper sentence and capitalize your words.
Five – I love pizza. I could probably survive just on pizza (and die early from it) and be completely content. Also, I love soda. I drink it way too much.
Six – I have a tattoo with Greek writing on my wrist. It reads Doulos Xristou Ihsou, which translates to Bondslave of Christ Jesus; what I aim to be with my lifestyle.
Seven – I played the violin for five and a half years. This one isn't nearly long enough, so I'm also going to throw in this one for free: I love small children, but unfortunately they usually don't love me. Babies cry when I hold them and as they get older they just seem to be scared of me. Junior and Senior High students, on the other hand, do tend to love me, and someday I want to work with the Youth Group of some church to affect the lives of the next generations as much as those cool twenty-somethings effected mine when I was in high school.
Eight – I really can't stand the cold, but I also hate layers. This is an extremely difficult contradiction when you live in Iowa and go to school in Ohio. Someday I'd love to live somewhere warm near the coast, such as Florida or California. The trouble is I can't stand the liberal whackos that live in California, and I don't think I could ever raise children in that environment.
Nine – On that note, I also can't stand the stark legalism of close-minded, judgmental, right-wing politics either. I choose not to advertise my political views, especially after this last election, as they generally appear to be contradictory to the stereotypical Christian standard. They aren't necessarily, but some people have a difficult time disjointing themselves from their own beliefs long enough to observe the perspective of mine. I guess what you could say is that I despise stereotypes in almost any shape or form.
Ten – I love complete strangers, and I love getting to know people. I'm generally not ashamed of making a fool of myself, so I'll gladly strike up a conversation with anybody.
Eleven – I love wit, sarcasm, and most of the genres humor takes on. Sometimes people don't get along with me right away (or at all) because they take me too seriously, but my motto is, "Only take seriously what life requires." By that I mean that there are certainly times when life requires you to be serious, and to joke around under such circumstances is completely inappropriate. Most of the rest of the situations life will throw at you are probably neutral, and I choose to take them as light heartedly as possible.
Twelve – I love photography and videography, both viewing and capturing. If you ever find a video that the editing and content are simply amazing, or a photograph that is breathtaking, feel free to share it with me.
Thirteen – I love a good adventure (I stole that right from you, Jenna). Whether it's risky, crazy, or just plain insane, I'll probably still be willing to do it. You only live life once, and I intend to take Ecclesiastes as seriously as possible while attempting to maintain a model of the character of Jesus Christ. I have a crazy sister named Jenna who has a nearly identical personality to my own, and we get along very well in this manner. Ashley and Andrew, my other two siblings, also have very similar personalities to each other. Ironically, Jenna's and my personalities are frequently in contrast to Ashley and Andrew's personalities, but we still get along great!
Fourteen – I've never been clinically diagnosed with ADD or ADHD, but every amateur test I've ever taken (and perhaps the inconsistent thought patterns I have) evidences that I probably have one of the two, which is probably why each "one" of these random facts is turning out to be more than one. I'm also highly obsessive compulsive, and I like my personal matters, physical and emotional, to be as organized as possible.
Fifteen – I love playing games if it means I get to spend time with you, but I'm really quite bad at them. Luckily, I'm not very competitive either, so I don't mind losing.
Sixteen – I'm the only person I know of that has ever successfully managed to be myself. All other attempts at being me have not only failed, but have failed miserably, usually leaving the attempter as an emotional wreck. Please do not ever try to be me. Try to be like me, if you must, but don't try to actually be me. It can only end in disaster.
So there you have it. I hope you enjoyed getting to know me by reading a post instead of conversing with me in person :).
Jessica - Because you practically forced me to write this thing and would have sent me on a guilt trip if I hadn’t *glare*.
Krista - Because you and I share a common love for photography, camp, and Ben. And you’re one of my favorite people.
Ben - Because I love you and you’re not only the best boss anyone could ever ask for, you’re the best friend!
Tyson - Because you remind me of chicken, and I love chicken. It tastes good. Hey, no hard feelings about Ben being the best boss, right?
Joe - Because I miss our meaningful and deep discussions that we had so frequently this summer about.
Kylee - Because you’ve lived twenty minutes away from me for my entire life and I’m sad that I didn’t even meet you until last year, especially since you make such a fantabulous friend!
Emilie - Because you’re the most amazing Freshman on campus, and you also live just twenty minutes away from me. Whether you get to play a lot or not, I still think you’re the best at volleyball.
Kelsey - Because if it weren’t for you, I probably never would have heard about or come to the lovely Cedarville University. Thank you!
Kristi - Because you’re short and feisty, a great friend, and you give the best hugs.
Ryan - Because you have that adorable baby face and I always have a good time with you.
Dave - Because you’re the only person I could think of that would take the latter part of the seventh one completely out of context.
Griffin - Because you’re not in the book, and I just met you this year, so I thought you might be interested in the deepest, darkest secrets of my life.
Gabe - Because I just saw you walk by the Bible building and you’re such an attractive man.
Jenna - Because you’re the only family member that I figured would actually post a response to this yourself.
Evan - Because you’re coming here next year. You do realize you don’t have a choice, right?
Megan - Because you can’t eat Gluten and you let us use your house to cook anyway.
My Icky and Cold Morning
11/19/08 09:32 AM
This morning, as I left
my dorm room and headed to work, the temperature was
below 25 degrees, and I shudder to even
speculate at what the wind chill was.
That being said, I was forced to don my coat, gloves, and soft hat this morning, even though they didn't match the rest of my outfit. It's a sad day when I'm forced to bust out the coat ...
That being said, I was forced to don my coat, gloves, and soft hat this morning, even though they didn't match the rest of my outfit. It's a sad day when I'm forced to bust out the coat ...
I Am Alex's Inability to Concentrate
11/18/08 07:27 PM
I have an Old Testament
exam I should be studying for. You can’t blame me too
much for not studying right now. I’m in class right
now learning about Binary Search Trees and balancing
an AVL Tree. The classroom is too warm, and the
weather outside is too cold. Somewhere trapped
between the two extremes is my inability to think
straight and the cause of my obnoxious sweating. Like
most rooms at Cedarville, this one is filled with
distractions. There’s the huge windows which allow me
to look down toward the Milner and Tyler buildings.
There’s that comfy and hideous couch in the corner
which no one ever sits in and everyone wonders why
it’s even in the room. There’s my notebook paper,
which can easily be shredded into a million pieces
throughout the course of a class period; it’s amazing
how many ways you can rip a small piece of paper.
Then, of course, there’s my laptop, which is an
infinite source of distraction. Although it’s not
necessarily all these distractions that are the
source of my inability to focus. They just feed it
when it’s hungry.
I am Alex’s inability to concentrate. Merely a child of his ADD mind and obsessive compulsive characteristics. I’m the reason he counts his steps. I’m the reason he over thinks every situation. I’m the reason he studies minute details that nobody else notices. I’m the reason he walks in syncopation with the music on his headphones. And in a contrasting sort of way, I’m the reason he can’t concentrate on nothing and fall asleep at night.
I make him run potential conversations over in his head, taking every possibly path the conversation might take, traversing every possible scenario even past the point of literal and ethical standards. And I’m also the reason he forgets all the scenarios when finally presented with the aforementioned conversation. I scatter his thoughts and make him forget the sentences he had so carefully constructed.
I’m the reason he taps his foot, shakes his arm, or twitches his hand when most people sit still. I’m the cause of his intermittent thought patterns. I’m the cause of his dazing off, staring at nothing for minutes on end. And I extend far beyond his academic life.
I probably make him feel crazy most of the time, but that’s my job. I’m just doing what I’m meant to do.
I am Alex’s inability to concentrate. Merely a child of his ADD mind and obsessive compulsive characteristics. I’m the reason he counts his steps. I’m the reason he over thinks every situation. I’m the reason he studies minute details that nobody else notices. I’m the reason he walks in syncopation with the music on his headphones. And in a contrasting sort of way, I’m the reason he can’t concentrate on nothing and fall asleep at night.
I make him run potential conversations over in his head, taking every possibly path the conversation might take, traversing every possible scenario even past the point of literal and ethical standards. And I’m also the reason he forgets all the scenarios when finally presented with the aforementioned conversation. I scatter his thoughts and make him forget the sentences he had so carefully constructed.
I’m the reason he taps his foot, shakes his arm, or twitches his hand when most people sit still. I’m the cause of his intermittent thought patterns. I’m the cause of his dazing off, staring at nothing for minutes on end. And I extend far beyond his academic life.
I probably make him feel crazy most of the time, but that’s my job. I’m just doing what I’m meant to do.
Unnecessary Quotation Marks
11/17/08 11:51 AM
I have this thing where
I “can’t stand” it when people use quotation marks
unnecessarily (unless it’s for ironic purposes, of
course). So, of course, when I saw this sign, it was
one of the happiest moments of my life.
There is an entire blog dedicated to the exploiting
the misuses of quotation marks. Check it out
here.
Grandparent's Day
11/14/08 12:37 PM
I know, Grandparent's
Day is the first Sunday after Labor Day, which would
be back in September or something. But here at
Cedarville, Grandparent's Day is today! It's true!
Today is the day we celebrate our grandparents,
though I celebrate mine every day of the year :).
Today we had Grandparent's Chapel where we recognized all the grandparents present; we even showed a video of students all over campus talking about why they loved their grandparents. I tried finding the video, but it isn't on our Student Government's website and I can't find it on YouTube, so I guess I'll just have to describe it, if at all possible.
Well, Liz was walking around with the camera and microphone on Monday, and she found me. I'm always more than willing to gloat about my grandparents, so I said a few words about why I love mine. Unfortunately, they cut out my comment about how my Grandparents Laird have been married for over fifty years, which I think is amazingly awesome, but that's alright.
So, why do I love my grandparents? Well, first and foremost, it's they're examples to all of us children as to what a relationship with Christ should look like. Not only that, another encouraging thing is how evident it is that they're interested in their grandchildren's lives (that's me)! On the video, Grandpa, I commented on how you're always technologically savvy and how you even have an iPhone, which you frighteningly use to text me and others while driving. (Sorry, everyone laughed ... You really shouldn't text and drive, you know. There are laws.)
My Grandpa Laird is a great guy with a sense of humor similar to my own, so we get along great for that reason. I like to think he’s a genius. He has been successful in life and always knows the answers to my questions when I call him to ask him things, usually relating to politics or government. We exchange knowledge in that way; I give him computer help and he gives me political help. If he doesn’t know the answer, he’ll find it for me. I said it above, but I’ll say it specifically, my Grandpa Laird loves the Lord with everything in him. He and my Grandma pray together regularly, and he loves to share Christ with people. For a few years he was a pastor, though I wasn’t alive at the time, so I don’t really remember it. I love talking about religious things with him as well as politics. (Just ask him about Christmas … It’s fun *wink*). In general, he’s just a fun guy to converse with, no matter what the subject matter.
My Grandma Laird loves to take us shopping. She loves to spoil us (but in a good way). Whenever we're going to be visiting my grandma on my dad's side, we'll always receive a call the week before asking what sorts of sugary cereals we want to eat while we're there. (Mom never would buy us Lucky Charms.) Ice cream? She'll get it. Pizza? We'll order it. My grandparent's house was the only place I ever really watched cable TV because we didn't have it. We had a TV, but it only had local channels, and I rarely ever even watched them. So when we visited my grandparents, we would always wake up early and watch the morning cartoons. Grandma Laird is a wonderful woman who loves the Lord just like her husband, and not only does she share God’s love with people whenever she can get the chance, she’s encouraging to us grandchildren as well to persevere through trials and maintain a right relationship with God.
My mom’s mom, Grandma Richardson, is the cutest little grandma ever. I got a card in the mail from her the other day, and she went on to describe the cows, the chickens, what my mom was doing, and how my family was, since I wasn't there to see them. She gives splendid hugs, and caring for others is her specialty. Grandma loves God and she loves everyone around her, and she’s a special one with which no one else can compare. She knows all of her grandchildren and great grand children, which is saying quite a bit because she has a lot. When I say she knows them, I mean she knows great details about each of them. She makes it a point to keep up with her family’s lives, and that’s a true blessing.
My Grandpa Richardson, who went to be with Jesus a few years ago, had the biggest heart for God I think I've ever seen in anyone. In his younger years, he was a Baptist pastor (I guess I’m surrounded by them), and he has always served the Lord with all his strength, even when his strength was waning. My favorite thing to do with him was to sit on the couch next to his chair, pick up the Bible, open it to a random location and read a random passage. Then I would ask him the reference. You could see the wheels turning in his mind, even when it took him a few minutes to respond, but if he couldn't nail it down to the exact reference, he could at least tell you the book and probably even the chapter. Additionally, he was able to give you the context of the verse and why it was significant. (Those were free, you didn't even have to ask him and he just would tell you that.) He was truly an amazing man.
All of my grandparents are amazing. They all care about us and love us, and they're all interested in our lives. Let's face it, without my grandparents, I wouldn't be where I am today, and neither would my parents. You're all amazing people who have poured your lives into not only each other and others but also into your grandchildren, and you've made a huge difference in my life. I love you all very much!
Today we had Grandparent's Chapel where we recognized all the grandparents present; we even showed a video of students all over campus talking about why they loved their grandparents. I tried finding the video, but it isn't on our Student Government's website and I can't find it on YouTube, so I guess I'll just have to describe it, if at all possible.
Well, Liz was walking around with the camera and microphone on Monday, and she found me. I'm always more than willing to gloat about my grandparents, so I said a few words about why I love mine. Unfortunately, they cut out my comment about how my Grandparents Laird have been married for over fifty years, which I think is amazingly awesome, but that's alright.
So, why do I love my grandparents? Well, first and foremost, it's they're examples to all of us children as to what a relationship with Christ should look like. Not only that, another encouraging thing is how evident it is that they're interested in their grandchildren's lives (that's me)! On the video, Grandpa, I commented on how you're always technologically savvy and how you even have an iPhone, which you frighteningly use to text me and others while driving. (Sorry, everyone laughed ... You really shouldn't text and drive, you know. There are laws.)
My Grandpa Laird is a great guy with a sense of humor similar to my own, so we get along great for that reason. I like to think he’s a genius. He has been successful in life and always knows the answers to my questions when I call him to ask him things, usually relating to politics or government. We exchange knowledge in that way; I give him computer help and he gives me political help. If he doesn’t know the answer, he’ll find it for me. I said it above, but I’ll say it specifically, my Grandpa Laird loves the Lord with everything in him. He and my Grandma pray together regularly, and he loves to share Christ with people. For a few years he was a pastor, though I wasn’t alive at the time, so I don’t really remember it. I love talking about religious things with him as well as politics. (Just ask him about Christmas … It’s fun *wink*). In general, he’s just a fun guy to converse with, no matter what the subject matter.
My Grandma Laird loves to take us shopping. She loves to spoil us (but in a good way). Whenever we're going to be visiting my grandma on my dad's side, we'll always receive a call the week before asking what sorts of sugary cereals we want to eat while we're there. (Mom never would buy us Lucky Charms.) Ice cream? She'll get it. Pizza? We'll order it. My grandparent's house was the only place I ever really watched cable TV because we didn't have it. We had a TV, but it only had local channels, and I rarely ever even watched them. So when we visited my grandparents, we would always wake up early and watch the morning cartoons. Grandma Laird is a wonderful woman who loves the Lord just like her husband, and not only does she share God’s love with people whenever she can get the chance, she’s encouraging to us grandchildren as well to persevere through trials and maintain a right relationship with God.
My mom’s mom, Grandma Richardson, is the cutest little grandma ever. I got a card in the mail from her the other day, and she went on to describe the cows, the chickens, what my mom was doing, and how my family was, since I wasn't there to see them. She gives splendid hugs, and caring for others is her specialty. Grandma loves God and she loves everyone around her, and she’s a special one with which no one else can compare. She knows all of her grandchildren and great grand children, which is saying quite a bit because she has a lot. When I say she knows them, I mean she knows great details about each of them. She makes it a point to keep up with her family’s lives, and that’s a true blessing.
My Grandpa Richardson, who went to be with Jesus a few years ago, had the biggest heart for God I think I've ever seen in anyone. In his younger years, he was a Baptist pastor (I guess I’m surrounded by them), and he has always served the Lord with all his strength, even when his strength was waning. My favorite thing to do with him was to sit on the couch next to his chair, pick up the Bible, open it to a random location and read a random passage. Then I would ask him the reference. You could see the wheels turning in his mind, even when it took him a few minutes to respond, but if he couldn't nail it down to the exact reference, he could at least tell you the book and probably even the chapter. Additionally, he was able to give you the context of the verse and why it was significant. (Those were free, you didn't even have to ask him and he just would tell you that.) He was truly an amazing man.
All of my grandparents are amazing. They all care about us and love us, and they're all interested in our lives. Let's face it, without my grandparents, I wouldn't be where I am today, and neither would my parents. You're all amazing people who have poured your lives into not only each other and others but also into your grandchildren, and you've made a huge difference in my life. I love you all very much!
New Posts On Dave and Alex's Happy Fun-Time Blog
11/13/08 08:50 PM
Since I have yet to
take the time to route the Dave and Alex’s Happy
Fun-Time Blog RSS feed into this blog, I’ll just have
to include links to my most recent posts on the blog.
Here you go.
Things I’ve Seen, Pt. 3
Things I’ve Seen, Pt. 4
Things I’ve Heard, Pt. 2
Read up. I strongly suggest Things I’ve Heard, Pt. 2, which relates to recent ridiculous comments on the election. Gotta love ‘em!
Things I’ve Seen, Pt. 3
Things I’ve Seen, Pt. 4
Things I’ve Heard, Pt. 2
Read up. I strongly suggest Things I’ve Heard, Pt. 2, which relates to recent ridiculous comments on the election. Gotta love ‘em!
Crazy 8s! (Jenna Made Me Do This ...)
11/13/08 12:26 PM
It appears as though
I’ve been randomly selected to do one of these survey
things by none other than my annoying sister, Jenna.
Alright, here goes nothing. (After reviewing this, I
realized Jenna and I wrote the same thing before
starting ... That was not intended and has officially
creeped me out.)
8 TV Show I Love to Watch:
And I’m not tagging anyone else in this. Just because I don’t feel like it :).
8 TV Show I Love to Watch:
- The Simpsons
- The Office
- Arrested Development
- Lost
- 30 Rock
- Family Guy
- Gilmore Girls
- Stella
- Panda Express
- Red Robin
- Panera Bread
- Chipotle
- Cheesecake Factory
- Fazoli’s
- Zio Johnos
- Pizza Hut
- Kicked a Java exam in the butt
- Had a Caramel Latte
- Went to chapel
- Blogged about my free coffee from Dr. Miller
- Ate lunch
- Discussed plans for Dave and I’s movie
- Went to work
- Watched The Office
- Graduation
- Passing Calculus
- Moving back to Iowa
- Getting a full time job
- Listening to music
- Dave and I’s movie
- Turkey Break
- Christmas Break
- Working on a project that changes the way we use technology
- Working with the youth at my church
- Making a difference in a High Schoolers life
- Working for Apple or Google
- Being arrested for something I didn’t do. Just because the experience would be sweet, but I don’t actually want to break the law.
- Going to a Coldplay or U2 concert
- To be an Uncle
- The dress code to be dropped (or at least significantly lessened) at Cedarville
And I’m not tagging anyone else in this. Just because I don’t feel like it :).
My Claim to Fame
11/08/08 10:09 PM
So, today I posted on
Jenna’s blog. It was my very first guest appearance,
and it was pretty great. She totally doesn’t even
know what I wrote yet, which is the best part. (It
pays to know your sister’s password, I tell you
what.)
Don’t worry ... I was actually doing her a favor, since she needs to post every single day during the month of November to be eligible for something thing. I noticed she hadn’t posted yet today, so I posted for her. It’s as easy as that.
Here’s my post.
Don’t worry ... I was actually doing her a favor, since she needs to post every single day during the month of November to be eligible for something thing. I noticed she hadn’t posted yet today, so I posted for her. It’s as easy as that.
Here’s my post.
No-Shave November
11/06/08 02:45 PM
I used to really be
into nostalgia.
The other day I was reminiscing about my childhood. I try to do it regularly, thinking about the time I walked out onto our red back porch in the old house, looked over the rail and asked my mother, “Mom, if I jump off this, will I die?” (Oh, the questions you put up with, Mom ...) Or the time I colored all over the door to the toy room with sidewalk chalk; my older siblings had locked me out because I would have ruined their fun. Then there was the time I climbed on the wall at the library only to fall tumbling to the ground (it was about three feet high ...), landing on my face and breaking my tooth; we were on the way to Chicago, and my siblings were not pleased with me. My brother and I used to have this imaginary world which we dubbed “Nutkin.” We acted out the characters with different hand shapes and made them talk. It drove Jenna crazy!
Specifically, I remember always wanting a beard when I was a little boy. For some reason that is beyond my comprehension these days (but somehow made perfect sense to my feeble mind), I thought facial hair was the coolest thing. I think most little boys do, probably, and maybe some little girls ... Who knows? At some point I decided a beard may be too much, and I decided I just wanted a mustache. A mustache which, if worn these days, would make me look like an absolute creeper, but every little boy has a dream, right?
See, my Dad has a lot of facial hair. He shaves every day because it grows so fast and so thick. I always wished he would just grow it out, because I think he would look like the coolest dude if he did. Then I saw pictures of when he had grown it out and decided it was OK for him to keep it shaved. Not that he looked bad, I just realized I was used to him not having facial hair and it would just be weird if he had it. But every once in a while we would go on vacation or something and he would let it grow out. And if we were especially good, he would let us crawl up on his lap and feel it’s scruffiness with our hands. This just made me want facial hair even more.
No more! Why did I ever want facial hair? This is a message to every little boy out there who thinks he wants facial hair. If you have thick facial hair, you have to shave every day if you don’t want it to look icky. Unless you want to grow it out, in which case you could trim it every day until it’s a proper length; then you have to continue trimming it regularly so it doesn’t get out of control: Example. But until it gets to a certain point, your facial hair will be scratchy beyond belief. Quite annoying.
So, there’s this thing called No-Shave November which presents a solution to this problem. It’s pretty simple, really. You just don’t shave for the entire month. Girls are encouraged to participate, though as soon as we tell them to they all say the same thing: “Trust me, you don’t want me to not shave.” Actually, I wouldn’t care. I probably don’t touch your legs very often, and even if I did ... Isn’t that the point of No-Shave? To be gross? You never here us say that, and you actually have to look at our hair. But I digress. Let’s be honest, most participants in No-Shave don’t maintain their facial hair at all, so they just look like bums for a month. (Yah, that’s right, I’m talking to you.)
This is why I’m not participating. I don’t want to feel itchy for weeks until it finally gets smooth, all the while looking like a hobo. I will continue to shave throughout the month of November and that’s all there is to it.
The other day I was reminiscing about my childhood. I try to do it regularly, thinking about the time I walked out onto our red back porch in the old house, looked over the rail and asked my mother, “Mom, if I jump off this, will I die?” (Oh, the questions you put up with, Mom ...) Or the time I colored all over the door to the toy room with sidewalk chalk; my older siblings had locked me out because I would have ruined their fun. Then there was the time I climbed on the wall at the library only to fall tumbling to the ground (it was about three feet high ...), landing on my face and breaking my tooth; we were on the way to Chicago, and my siblings were not pleased with me. My brother and I used to have this imaginary world which we dubbed “Nutkin.” We acted out the characters with different hand shapes and made them talk. It drove Jenna crazy!
Specifically, I remember always wanting a beard when I was a little boy. For some reason that is beyond my comprehension these days (but somehow made perfect sense to my feeble mind), I thought facial hair was the coolest thing. I think most little boys do, probably, and maybe some little girls ... Who knows? At some point I decided a beard may be too much, and I decided I just wanted a mustache. A mustache which, if worn these days, would make me look like an absolute creeper, but every little boy has a dream, right?
See, my Dad has a lot of facial hair. He shaves every day because it grows so fast and so thick. I always wished he would just grow it out, because I think he would look like the coolest dude if he did. Then I saw pictures of when he had grown it out and decided it was OK for him to keep it shaved. Not that he looked bad, I just realized I was used to him not having facial hair and it would just be weird if he had it. But every once in a while we would go on vacation or something and he would let it grow out. And if we were especially good, he would let us crawl up on his lap and feel it’s scruffiness with our hands. This just made me want facial hair even more.
No more! Why did I ever want facial hair? This is a message to every little boy out there who thinks he wants facial hair. If you have thick facial hair, you have to shave every day if you don’t want it to look icky. Unless you want to grow it out, in which case you could trim it every day until it’s a proper length; then you have to continue trimming it regularly so it doesn’t get out of control: Example. But until it gets to a certain point, your facial hair will be scratchy beyond belief. Quite annoying.
So, there’s this thing called No-Shave November which presents a solution to this problem. It’s pretty simple, really. You just don’t shave for the entire month. Girls are encouraged to participate, though as soon as we tell them to they all say the same thing: “Trust me, you don’t want me to not shave.” Actually, I wouldn’t care. I probably don’t touch your legs very often, and even if I did ... Isn’t that the point of No-Shave? To be gross? You never here us say that, and you actually have to look at our hair. But I digress. Let’s be honest, most participants in No-Shave don’t maintain their facial hair at all, so they just look like bums for a month. (Yah, that’s right, I’m talking to you.)
This is why I’m not participating. I don’t want to feel itchy for weeks until it finally gets smooth, all the while looking like a hobo. I will continue to shave throughout the month of November and that’s all there is to it.
The 2008 Election Is Over ... Finally
11/05/08 07:55 AM
It looks like
we will finally have a new President come
January, and quite a bit of change to come with
that!
I'm baffled by how many people seem to have fallen victim to the silly catch phrase "Yes We Can!" or Obama's claim to "bring change to our nation." Listen, any President will bring change. Claim something significant. And "Yes We Can!" just sounds like a slogan off of Bob the Builder.
But enough bashing of our new President-to-be. That's actually not what I wanted to talk about anyway, I just had to get it out.
Hopefully for the last several months you've been praying that God's will would be done, not that John McCain would be our next President. (I'm looking at you, Conservative Republican-Voting Christians!) That's probably not the right way to go aabout it, and anyway, I believe that God's will has been done.
One thing I'm pretty excited about now that the election is finally past is that your cheesy Facebook statuses will go away. Seriously ... Let me just give you a few examples to prove my point without using any names. (The names that are used below are only because I know the people wouldn't care and because they were one of the few being positive about the election.)
Jane Doe is scared for his country.
Seeing as how we're the most powerful country in the world, this may be a good feeling to have. And change is always a scary thing, for the good or bad. Though, as V for Vendetta, "People should not be afraid of their governments; governments should be afraid of their people." In general, however, I don't think you need to be scared of Obama. He's going to do what's best for our country. That's what we elected him to do.
Jane Doe is thinking America is retarded. The only difference between Obama and Osama is B.S.
This sounds like something I would have heard as a joke back in Junior High. But I think she actually may believe it. Anyway, this is ridiculously racist, since about the only thing that's similar between the two of them is that they have darker skin. Please don't try to bring up any bogus remarks about Obama's ties with terrorist organizations now.
Also, prior to the heat of the election, Microsoft Word auto-corrected "Obama" to "Osama" because it didn't know the word, but this has been fixed since then. True story.
John Doe is praying that his country is not really this ignorant.
Probably not. We're not all complete idiots, we know what we voted for.
John Doe congradulates Al-Qaeda.
Honestly, Brad, what school do you go to? You can't even spell congratulate ...
John Doe knows this country needs a lot of prayer now.
I hope that you pray for our country all the time and would have been praying for our country just as much had McCain won. Everything always need all the prayer we can give it.
Jane Doe is here comes socialism.
By the way, Facebook finally removed the obligatory "is", so you could change it to "Jane Doe says" and it would sound even better. Anyway, last time I checked we're still a Democracy and always will be.
John Doe is very scared for the fate of the free world.
Still free. That's why we elected a new President, because we can and we have the right to.
John Doe likes babies. Go McCain!
I like babies as well! They're cute and wiggly and they go "coo" a lot. But, wait, aren't we talking about an election here? As in, who's going to lead our country? Sorry if this sounds harsh, but this isn't a single-issue election, and those who vote based upon a single issue bother me. We voted for the person who could best lead our country in every situation.
John Doe is begining to question peoples christianity who are voting for obama...you fools are unbelievable.
Your status is unbelievable. Last time I checked, God doesn't vote. He doesn't even believe in democracy.
John Doe hopes that by this time tomorrow we can ALL unite under the leadership of whoever wins, whether it's McCain or Obama.
Finally, a mature status! Thanks, Dan, you rock. That's the kind of attitude we need.
John Doe is still proud to be an American, because, last time he checked, he was still free.
Nice, Keenan! You certainly are, and that's the kind of attitude we need here.
Jane Doe is ENGAGED!!!!
Apparently not everyone was thinking about the election last night. Congratulations to my good friends Mr. and Mrs. (to be) David Benson :)! Honestly, any guy who writes "Will You Marry Me?" in flaming napalm on the ground has MY vote. And apparently hers, since she said yes :).
OK, there are countless statuses that bothered me because they were so closed-minded or inconsiderate of other people or God's sovereignty. Or did everyone suddenly forget that we live under the rule of an all-powerful God?
What bothered me most last night was how quickly McCain withdrew from the race. I mean, obviously he was going to lose ... That was predictable around 9:00pm. But it just seemed weak to bow out so quickly. On the flip side, what was it with hundreds of thousands of his supports booing him when he announced his support for our next President, Barack Obama? That's support, huh? I think it's silly he pulled out so soon, but I at least support his decision.
Anyway, you all should have voted for Cox/Laird ’08 last night. But seriously, hopefully people's statuses will soon go back to pointless banter about their upcoming tests, how some girl is annoying them, or the horrible food at Chuck's. Things that don't matter, and things that don't sarcasticly point fingers of blame at fellow believers.
By the way. I voted for John McCain. And I support Barack Obama.
I'm baffled by how many people seem to have fallen victim to the silly catch phrase "Yes We Can!" or Obama's claim to "bring change to our nation." Listen, any President will bring change. Claim something significant. And "Yes We Can!" just sounds like a slogan off of Bob the Builder.
But enough bashing of our new President-to-be. That's actually not what I wanted to talk about anyway, I just had to get it out.
Hopefully for the last several months you've been praying that God's will would be done, not that John McCain would be our next President. (I'm looking at you, Conservative Republican-Voting Christians!) That's probably not the right way to go aabout it, and anyway, I believe that God's will has been done.
One thing I'm pretty excited about now that the election is finally past is that your cheesy Facebook statuses will go away. Seriously ... Let me just give you a few examples to prove my point without using any names. (The names that are used below are only because I know the people wouldn't care and because they were one of the few being positive about the election.)
Jane Doe is scared for his country.
Seeing as how we're the most powerful country in the world, this may be a good feeling to have. And change is always a scary thing, for the good or bad. Though, as V for Vendetta, "People should not be afraid of their governments; governments should be afraid of their people." In general, however, I don't think you need to be scared of Obama. He's going to do what's best for our country. That's what we elected him to do.
Jane Doe is thinking America is retarded. The only difference between Obama and Osama is B.S.
This sounds like something I would have heard as a joke back in Junior High. But I think she actually may believe it. Anyway, this is ridiculously racist, since about the only thing that's similar between the two of them is that they have darker skin. Please don't try to bring up any bogus remarks about Obama's ties with terrorist organizations now.
Also, prior to the heat of the election, Microsoft Word auto-corrected "Obama" to "Osama" because it didn't know the word, but this has been fixed since then. True story.
John Doe is praying that his country is not really this ignorant.
Probably not. We're not all complete idiots, we know what we voted for.
John Doe congradulates Al-Qaeda.
Honestly, Brad, what school do you go to? You can't even spell congratulate ...
John Doe knows this country needs a lot of prayer now.
I hope that you pray for our country all the time and would have been praying for our country just as much had McCain won. Everything always need all the prayer we can give it.
Jane Doe is here comes socialism.
By the way, Facebook finally removed the obligatory "is", so you could change it to "Jane Doe says" and it would sound even better. Anyway, last time I checked we're still a Democracy and always will be.
John Doe is very scared for the fate of the free world.
Still free. That's why we elected a new President, because we can and we have the right to.
John Doe likes babies. Go McCain!
I like babies as well! They're cute and wiggly and they go "coo" a lot. But, wait, aren't we talking about an election here? As in, who's going to lead our country? Sorry if this sounds harsh, but this isn't a single-issue election, and those who vote based upon a single issue bother me. We voted for the person who could best lead our country in every situation.
John Doe is begining to question peoples christianity who are voting for obama...you fools are unbelievable.
Your status is unbelievable. Last time I checked, God doesn't vote. He doesn't even believe in democracy.
John Doe hopes that by this time tomorrow we can ALL unite under the leadership of whoever wins, whether it's McCain or Obama.
Finally, a mature status! Thanks, Dan, you rock. That's the kind of attitude we need.
John Doe is still proud to be an American, because, last time he checked, he was still free.
Nice, Keenan! You certainly are, and that's the kind of attitude we need here.
Jane Doe is ENGAGED!!!!
Apparently not everyone was thinking about the election last night. Congratulations to my good friends Mr. and Mrs. (to be) David Benson :)! Honestly, any guy who writes "Will You Marry Me?" in flaming napalm on the ground has MY vote. And apparently hers, since she said yes :).
OK, there are countless statuses that bothered me because they were so closed-minded or inconsiderate of other people or God's sovereignty. Or did everyone suddenly forget that we live under the rule of an all-powerful God?
What bothered me most last night was how quickly McCain withdrew from the race. I mean, obviously he was going to lose ... That was predictable around 9:00pm. But it just seemed weak to bow out so quickly. On the flip side, what was it with hundreds of thousands of his supports booing him when he announced his support for our next President, Barack Obama? That's support, huh? I think it's silly he pulled out so soon, but I at least support his decision.
Anyway, you all should have voted for Cox/Laird ’08 last night. But seriously, hopefully people's statuses will soon go back to pointless banter about their upcoming tests, how some girl is annoying them, or the horrible food at Chuck's. Things that don't matter, and things that don't sarcasticly point fingers of blame at fellow believers.
By the way. I voted for John McCain. And I support Barack Obama.
My Generation
11/01/08 01:35 PM
I’ve noticed quite a
few irritating trends that seem to be emerging quite
heavily in my generation. And perhaps the most
frustrating notion is the fact that I notice them in
myself as well.
This is a unique generation. We do as we will, we think as we please, and you really can’t tell us to do otherwise. We find ridiculous things funny, we get amusement out of the most childish things, and we’re always right. Always. You can try to educate us, but our minds will hardly be swayed. Pardon the overt cliche, but my generation is, in fact, the post modern generation. Or, at the very least, the most post modern we’ve seen yet. One can only imagine what the next generation, or the generation following that, will be like if this is what my generation has become. And since my generation is the one that will be molding the minds of the next, or at least trying to, it seems inevitable.
When I say you can try to educate us, I’m not implying that we’re stupid. Granted, statistics will tell you that the current generation being schooled in America is the dumbest yet, but we have ingenuity wrapped up in our brains somewhere. What I mean is that, when you try to get us to understand your ways, we’re closed minded. Or maybe we’re too open minded and that’s the problem. And maybe that’s the biggest misunderstanding; my generation is a paradox.
So, what makes us so unique? I’ve tried to come up with the most obvious traits that seem to be evident in most of my generation. Not all of them are, mind you, and some of them may seem as though I’ve taken them to the extreme, but I’m trying to make a point that I think needs to be made.The most disturbing thing I find in all this is that the below attributes seem to be just as commonly found in Christian circles as they are in non-Christian circles. It’s like my entire generation has become numb, not just the secular portion of my generation.
You’re Actually Wrong
We love to be the ones to have the right answer. We love to know everything. So much so, in fact, that we feel the urge to correct you about everything you say.
When I was younger, my older brother used to always ask, “What time is it?” I would reply something like, “It’s 2:47.” Andrew would huff and roll his eyes stating irritatedly, “Alex, you don’t have to give the exact time. Just round it to 2:45 like normal people.” He had this thing with trying make me not feel like a normal person. It took me quite a while to get the idea, but I finally caught on.
Today, things seem to be just the opposite. If you aren’t exact, you aren’t right at all. We’ve become so literal. But the trouble is, you see, you can’t be exactly right. Only we can, and that’s why we feel the urge to correct you, because we’re the ones who really know. It gives us a sense of pride, proving to you how much we know.
That’s Just Your Opinion, Which May Also be Right
On the occasion, you may say something and actually be right in some statement you make. Exactly right. How are we to correct you on this? My generation has brought a new concept to the table, the concept of dismissing absolutes. If nothing can truly be absolute, then “exactly right” is really only your opinion and, once again, we have the opportunity to correct you with what we know to be the exactly right answer. And, trust us, our exactly right is more accurate than your exactly right.
The biggest issue with this is that neither of us can truly be absolute about our exactly right, therefore neither of us can truly tell the other person that they’re wrong. This leaves us with the conclusion that their may be two right answers, and have come to accept that fact.
Don’t Tell Us; We Already Know
Since we tend to build on pride on how much we know, making it obvious to you that we already know it is key. Don’t try to tell us about the newest Lamborghini concept, something you just heard today about politics on CNN, an up-and-coming movie release starring Denzel Washington, the rumor of Green Day’s next LP, or even what the definition of LP actually is; we already know it. We fill our minds with useless information just so we finish your sentences for you.
We’re so full of our own self pride that we can’t be told anything new, even by someone with clearly superior in intellect to us. Apparently it would be a mockery of our own intellect to learn something from someone else and not the internet.
An Insatiable Hunger for Hilarity
We always have to be laughing at something, and we always have to be making you laugh. In my generation it has become awkward to sit in silence; to not hear some twisted joke just to break the tension. We feed ourselves humor constantly, be it from friends, movies, television, websites, or anything. In fact, if we can’t find something humorous in what’s going on around us, we’ll take someone else’s words and twist them, just to make someone laugh. It’s a nervous addiction we have, but it can never be fed enough.
It’s obvious that some of our elders try to make efforts to reach out to my generation. The problem is, we’ll just make a fool of you for a cheap laugh from our friends. You can tell us the funniest joke you know, but it won’t make us laugh. We’re obliged not to. What will be funny is the condescending remark we make towards you directly after. Take the same joke, put it in the mouth of Ben Stiller or Will Ferrell in a movie with a ridiculous plot, and we’ll find it hilarious.
See, it’s not just about laughing. It’s about knowing what to laugh at, and twisting everything else so others will laugh at your “wit”.
Vulgarity and Sacrilege
Our insatiable hunger for hilarity gets worse. We’re at the point where we must make absolutely everything funny, no matter how much of a stretch. The easiest and cheapest way to make anything hilarious is to make some sexual innuendo out of it. But we don’t stop there. We’ll make references to pornography, rape, incest, bestiality, or any other abomination you can think of, just to get you to laugh. Oh, you’re not laughing? You must be an idiot then, because everyone else thinks what we’re saying is hilarious.
Just take, for example, the recently overwhelming popularity of “That’s what she said” jokes.
In conjunction with vulgarity, we’re not afraid to offend the Creator whom we should be worshipping with our words. How many times do we take the Lords name in vain every day? I imagine most of us lose count before lunch. How little we respect someone who has done so much for us. We constantly take Him for granted. We fail to realize that all of the things in this list, when used improperly as they most commonly are, are means of sacrilege, because in sinning, we are continuing to destroy the perfect character God intended for us.
The Odds in Our Favor
We arrange our lives so that everything works perfectly in our favor. Our relationships, our schooling, our income, everything. If anything starts to fall apart, we drop it and leave, never looking back. We have a horrible issue with commitment for this reason. We figure that if something does go wrong, it must be because we aren’t meant to be in the given situation, so we bail. A loving God wouldn’t expect us to fail, right? We avoid confrontation, which could resolve the issue and bring a closer to those around us, and we choose to back out. It’s the short term, easier approach to solving all of our problems.
Keeping Up With the Joneses
It all goes back to our pride, but we have to look like we have it all together, even though we’re probably an emotional wreck. Yes, I wear expensive clothes. Yes, I have a fancy car. Yes, I buy Apple because they cost more than PC. Yes, my Daddy’s rich and pays for my college. Yes, yes, yes. Is my economic status impressing you? Because it should be.
We always have to have the latest and greatest new product, no matter how useless and overly priced it may be. Sure, we could have found a cheaper brand for $5, but this was has a name attached to it, and it cost me $50!
Maybe it looks like we have money, but we really don’t. We have plastic and we have PayPal, the things that have done more damage to our economy than anything else in history. When we see something we want, we can’t wait. My generation has no patience. We must have it now, not at the end of the month when we get our paycheck. We know we can always buy it on credit and pay it back later or, better yet, use the credit card our parents pay off.
We want you to be impressed with the size of our house. We want you to be impressed with the things we can afford. And, in reality, you probably are. But you aren’t impressed with us as a person, and that’s what our human nature truly craves. But how can you be impressed with us as a person if we act so superficial towards you?
Constant Occupation
Do we look busy enough to you? In the same way we feel we must always make someone laugh, we also feel the urge to constantly look busy. We’re always texting, always in a rush to get back to the dorm to check our Facebook and email, always calling someone, always doing homework, always doing something. If we sit back in silence and let our minds wander, we might actually realize how messed up and far from God our lives have become.
Shock Value
We aim to offend. It could be how we dress, it could be how we talk, it could be what we watch. But somewhere along the lines, about the time we lost all respect for our elders, we decided to take it to the next level and openly offend them.
My generation thrives on awkward situations ... Awkward for you. We don’t find much awkward because we’re so numb to the world, but we know you do. In our cravings for attention from others and, yes, even from you, we’re willing to do just about anything to shock everyone around us into being impressed. Maybe you’re not impressed, but you gave us your attention for a moment, right? And, trust me, our friends are impressed. It’s why we talk so loudly in public, lacing our sentences with obscenities that actually make us sound ridiculous. It’s why we wear formfitting outfits that look cost twice as much but look like the sewing machine ran out of thread half way.
It’s the same reason we tease the kid with the short temper. We want to see him snap; it’s what bullies thrive off of. My generation is just a generation of bullies towards everyone they meet. As soon as you snap and yell at us, we get our adrenaline high.
Apathy
We’ve reached the point where we’re almost raised not to feel in certain situations. It’s not that we’re completely against feelings; on the contrary, we can be quite emotive. We’re only against feelings when there’s the potential for vulnerability or hurt. Our apathy can be responsible for most of the inconsistencies in our character; it’s why we try to offend and it doesn’t phase us, it’s why we have a lack of commitment, it’s why we have no respect for our elders, it’s why vulgar music doesn’t phase us, and it’s why we don’t jump in scary movies. Nothing phases us because we just don’t care. This behavior is completely against everything humans are created to be. Feelings are at the root of our very beings. Being vulnerable is the only real way we can ever express those feelings.
Maybe this is evident in every next generation, and maybe everyone at some point or another has the same feelings of annoyance that I do toward their own generation (and their own characteristics), but I felt the need to get my thoughts out there to see if anyone else felt the same way.
And I think I feel better now.
This is a unique generation. We do as we will, we think as we please, and you really can’t tell us to do otherwise. We find ridiculous things funny, we get amusement out of the most childish things, and we’re always right. Always. You can try to educate us, but our minds will hardly be swayed. Pardon the overt cliche, but my generation is, in fact, the post modern generation. Or, at the very least, the most post modern we’ve seen yet. One can only imagine what the next generation, or the generation following that, will be like if this is what my generation has become. And since my generation is the one that will be molding the minds of the next, or at least trying to, it seems inevitable.
When I say you can try to educate us, I’m not implying that we’re stupid. Granted, statistics will tell you that the current generation being schooled in America is the dumbest yet, but we have ingenuity wrapped up in our brains somewhere. What I mean is that, when you try to get us to understand your ways, we’re closed minded. Or maybe we’re too open minded and that’s the problem. And maybe that’s the biggest misunderstanding; my generation is a paradox.
So, what makes us so unique? I’ve tried to come up with the most obvious traits that seem to be evident in most of my generation. Not all of them are, mind you, and some of them may seem as though I’ve taken them to the extreme, but I’m trying to make a point that I think needs to be made.The most disturbing thing I find in all this is that the below attributes seem to be just as commonly found in Christian circles as they are in non-Christian circles. It’s like my entire generation has become numb, not just the secular portion of my generation.
You’re Actually Wrong
We love to be the ones to have the right answer. We love to know everything. So much so, in fact, that we feel the urge to correct you about everything you say.
When I was younger, my older brother used to always ask, “What time is it?” I would reply something like, “It’s 2:47.” Andrew would huff and roll his eyes stating irritatedly, “Alex, you don’t have to give the exact time. Just round it to 2:45 like normal people.” He had this thing with trying make me not feel like a normal person. It took me quite a while to get the idea, but I finally caught on.
Today, things seem to be just the opposite. If you aren’t exact, you aren’t right at all. We’ve become so literal. But the trouble is, you see, you can’t be exactly right. Only we can, and that’s why we feel the urge to correct you, because we’re the ones who really know. It gives us a sense of pride, proving to you how much we know.
That’s Just Your Opinion, Which May Also be Right
On the occasion, you may say something and actually be right in some statement you make. Exactly right. How are we to correct you on this? My generation has brought a new concept to the table, the concept of dismissing absolutes. If nothing can truly be absolute, then “exactly right” is really only your opinion and, once again, we have the opportunity to correct you with what we know to be the exactly right answer. And, trust us, our exactly right is more accurate than your exactly right.
The biggest issue with this is that neither of us can truly be absolute about our exactly right, therefore neither of us can truly tell the other person that they’re wrong. This leaves us with the conclusion that their may be two right answers, and have come to accept that fact.
Don’t Tell Us; We Already Know
Since we tend to build on pride on how much we know, making it obvious to you that we already know it is key. Don’t try to tell us about the newest Lamborghini concept, something you just heard today about politics on CNN, an up-and-coming movie release starring Denzel Washington, the rumor of Green Day’s next LP, or even what the definition of LP actually is; we already know it. We fill our minds with useless information just so we finish your sentences for you.
We’re so full of our own self pride that we can’t be told anything new, even by someone with clearly superior in intellect to us. Apparently it would be a mockery of our own intellect to learn something from someone else and not the internet.
An Insatiable Hunger for Hilarity
We always have to be laughing at something, and we always have to be making you laugh. In my generation it has become awkward to sit in silence; to not hear some twisted joke just to break the tension. We feed ourselves humor constantly, be it from friends, movies, television, websites, or anything. In fact, if we can’t find something humorous in what’s going on around us, we’ll take someone else’s words and twist them, just to make someone laugh. It’s a nervous addiction we have, but it can never be fed enough.
It’s obvious that some of our elders try to make efforts to reach out to my generation. The problem is, we’ll just make a fool of you for a cheap laugh from our friends. You can tell us the funniest joke you know, but it won’t make us laugh. We’re obliged not to. What will be funny is the condescending remark we make towards you directly after. Take the same joke, put it in the mouth of Ben Stiller or Will Ferrell in a movie with a ridiculous plot, and we’ll find it hilarious.
See, it’s not just about laughing. It’s about knowing what to laugh at, and twisting everything else so others will laugh at your “wit”.
Vulgarity and Sacrilege
Our insatiable hunger for hilarity gets worse. We’re at the point where we must make absolutely everything funny, no matter how much of a stretch. The easiest and cheapest way to make anything hilarious is to make some sexual innuendo out of it. But we don’t stop there. We’ll make references to pornography, rape, incest, bestiality, or any other abomination you can think of, just to get you to laugh. Oh, you’re not laughing? You must be an idiot then, because everyone else thinks what we’re saying is hilarious.
Just take, for example, the recently overwhelming popularity of “That’s what she said” jokes.
In conjunction with vulgarity, we’re not afraid to offend the Creator whom we should be worshipping with our words. How many times do we take the Lords name in vain every day? I imagine most of us lose count before lunch. How little we respect someone who has done so much for us. We constantly take Him for granted. We fail to realize that all of the things in this list, when used improperly as they most commonly are, are means of sacrilege, because in sinning, we are continuing to destroy the perfect character God intended for us.
The Odds in Our Favor
We arrange our lives so that everything works perfectly in our favor. Our relationships, our schooling, our income, everything. If anything starts to fall apart, we drop it and leave, never looking back. We have a horrible issue with commitment for this reason. We figure that if something does go wrong, it must be because we aren’t meant to be in the given situation, so we bail. A loving God wouldn’t expect us to fail, right? We avoid confrontation, which could resolve the issue and bring a closer to those around us, and we choose to back out. It’s the short term, easier approach to solving all of our problems.
Keeping Up With the Joneses
It all goes back to our pride, but we have to look like we have it all together, even though we’re probably an emotional wreck. Yes, I wear expensive clothes. Yes, I have a fancy car. Yes, I buy Apple because they cost more than PC. Yes, my Daddy’s rich and pays for my college. Yes, yes, yes. Is my economic status impressing you? Because it should be.
We always have to have the latest and greatest new product, no matter how useless and overly priced it may be. Sure, we could have found a cheaper brand for $5, but this was has a name attached to it, and it cost me $50!
Maybe it looks like we have money, but we really don’t. We have plastic and we have PayPal, the things that have done more damage to our economy than anything else in history. When we see something we want, we can’t wait. My generation has no patience. We must have it now, not at the end of the month when we get our paycheck. We know we can always buy it on credit and pay it back later or, better yet, use the credit card our parents pay off.
We want you to be impressed with the size of our house. We want you to be impressed with the things we can afford. And, in reality, you probably are. But you aren’t impressed with us as a person, and that’s what our human nature truly craves. But how can you be impressed with us as a person if we act so superficial towards you?
Constant Occupation
Do we look busy enough to you? In the same way we feel we must always make someone laugh, we also feel the urge to constantly look busy. We’re always texting, always in a rush to get back to the dorm to check our Facebook and email, always calling someone, always doing homework, always doing something. If we sit back in silence and let our minds wander, we might actually realize how messed up and far from God our lives have become.
Shock Value
We aim to offend. It could be how we dress, it could be how we talk, it could be what we watch. But somewhere along the lines, about the time we lost all respect for our elders, we decided to take it to the next level and openly offend them.
My generation thrives on awkward situations ... Awkward for you. We don’t find much awkward because we’re so numb to the world, but we know you do. In our cravings for attention from others and, yes, even from you, we’re willing to do just about anything to shock everyone around us into being impressed. Maybe you’re not impressed, but you gave us your attention for a moment, right? And, trust me, our friends are impressed. It’s why we talk so loudly in public, lacing our sentences with obscenities that actually make us sound ridiculous. It’s why we wear formfitting outfits that look cost twice as much but look like the sewing machine ran out of thread half way.
It’s the same reason we tease the kid with the short temper. We want to see him snap; it’s what bullies thrive off of. My generation is just a generation of bullies towards everyone they meet. As soon as you snap and yell at us, we get our adrenaline high.
Apathy
We’ve reached the point where we’re almost raised not to feel in certain situations. It’s not that we’re completely against feelings; on the contrary, we can be quite emotive. We’re only against feelings when there’s the potential for vulnerability or hurt. Our apathy can be responsible for most of the inconsistencies in our character; it’s why we try to offend and it doesn’t phase us, it’s why we have a lack of commitment, it’s why we have no respect for our elders, it’s why vulgar music doesn’t phase us, and it’s why we don’t jump in scary movies. Nothing phases us because we just don’t care. This behavior is completely against everything humans are created to be. Feelings are at the root of our very beings. Being vulnerable is the only real way we can ever express those feelings.
Maybe this is evident in every next generation, and maybe everyone at some point or another has the same feelings of annoyance that I do toward their own generation (and their own characteristics), but I felt the need to get my thoughts out there to see if anyone else felt the same way.
And I think I feel better now.
"Those People" You Hate On Facebook
10/23/08 03:16 PM
You know those Facebook
personalities that float around, haunting the world's
best social networking site. Everybody knows
them. They're unavoidable. Well, here's a
list of the most common and annoying ones that I've
found. If you find that you fit one of
these stereotypes, please, do all of your friends a
favor. Stop doing that
thing.
The Poker
I don't actually need to say anything about this. It's self explanatory. Why does poking exist? It's stupid. Stop poking me.
The Groupie
The Groupie is the guy who thinks every cause, every inside joke, every event, everything deserves a Facebook group. It doesn't. Coincidently, most Groupies tend to be quite illiterate and can't even properly convey their cause in less than seventy-five characters. This leads to his group name having far too many punctuation marks and not enough legitimate words. Also, lots of abbreviations.
As if there aren't already enough groups out there. Heck, there are duplicates of groups, just spelled and exclaimed differently. You can find fan groups, anti-fan groups, event groups, groups trying to be the biggest group, groups against groups, groups that are against groups that are against groups, groups against duplicate groups (ironically, there's a ton of those ... Check it), groups ... You get the idea. All that, and there's not even really a point to them. If you're a fan of something, why join a group? Add it to your Interests ...
The Groupie may also be known for being ...
The Invitation Freak
Back in 2007, shortly after Facebook apps were launched, Facebook had over 3,000 apps you could add, and was averaging 100 new apps every day. That's way too many to sift through. Unfortunately, The Invitation Freak will somehow find time to sift through them all and invite you to all of them as well. Numerous times. (I'm still not sure whether vampires or werewolves are better ...)
But he won't just do this with apps. No, he'll do it with groups, pages, events ... everything. Anything that has the "Invite People to Join" button, The Invitation Freak will invite you to it. The reason Facebook has become so insecure recently and has been the result of countless hacking attempts is essentially the fault of The Invitation Freak. Anyone can write an app; therefore the same geniuses who keep Symantec and McAfee in business will also make apps to hack Facebook.
The Obnoxious Tagger
The Obnoxious Tagger thinks your life isn't complete without theirs. That's why they have to tag you in all of their notes, photos, and videos. They think you need to know about the good time they had, about how depressed they are, or whatever.
Quickly check out this page on tagging in Facebook. Notice, under photos, it says, "Facebook provides users with the opportunity to identify the people in their photos by 'tagging' the images." ... Hold on, let me just say it again "... identify the people in their photos ..." This would imply the person was, in fact, in the photo. This principle should also be applied to Notes. If the person is not actually mentioned in the note, you don't need to tag them.
Look, everything you do or add on Facebook will show up in my News Feed moments after you do it, so it's not like I don't know you wrote a note. I suppose the cause of this may be because The Obnoxious Tagger is also actually ...
The Attention Monger
The Attention Monger has to be seen on Facebook. They update their status on an unhealthy basis, constantly put pictures (of themselves) into albums, update their status again (even though they aren't doing anything new), comment on all your photos and notes, right on everyone’s wall (because it will show up in the News Feed!) ... Anything that can be posted on, they will post on. Anything that can be updated, they will update so they're always at the top of your News Feed. Just met them? They'll add you. Just added an album and forgot to tag them in a photo? They'll tag it for you.
Their profile is completely full. They list every band, every movie, every everything they possibly can in their profile. They even have that Extended Profile app to add MORE, just in case you actually do pay attention to them for once ... They want you to know how awesome they are.
Unfortunately, people who see The Attention Monger all too often must ask the question ...
Do I Know You?
This person adds you when they don't really know you. You meet them once, they permanently engrain your name into their memory because they think you're cute, and then they go back to their dorm and add you as a friend. But you aren't really friends. Webster says a friend is "one attached to another by affection or esteem" or "a favored companion". Someone can't be either of these things after one or two meetings, no matter how cute they are.
Then there's the person on Facebook who thinks they're on MySpace. I think they literally just search for random names and add people when they're bored. I used to know somebody who would just always look up their own name and add anyone whom they had that common bond with.
Finally, there's the "I know you through your cousin" guy. Look, we've never met, so why are you adding me? I don't care if you know my cousin, or you went to school with my parents and you're fifty (that happened to me once). Facebook is a social networking site, not an online dating community. Although some of you seem to have a pretty severe misunderstanding about that.
The Creeper
The Creeper always is the first to comment on your photos of the previous night’s slumber party. He always knows your latest status update (he has them texted to his phone), and he's not afraid to ask you about them in person. He's always curious about your camping trip last weekend (he knows you went on it because he saw the album). He sends you messages and writes on your wall about how he hasn't seen you in a while, but you look like you're having fun.
Oh, and he also started texting you. He got your number from your profile.
The Complainer
The Complainer basically hates Facebook. Everything about it. The new design sucks, it's always slow, and you need to be able to customize profiles, why don't they make an app that does this?
Look, if you want a customizable profile, go back to MySpace. We don't want your glitter here. Facebook is clean and intuitive (and quiet ... Yes, you, who uploads music on your MySpace). Go design your own website if Facebook isn't good enough for you, but there's a very important fact you must remember: Facebook is free. And has far less obnoxious ads than MySpace or Xanga.
And, I just have to say this, no matter how many people you get to join a group, some magnificent thing will not happen. For instance, Facebook will not change the design back if you get 10 million people to join your group. They invested months into designing and programming it, and you think they're going to just throw it away? They'll try to upgrade it more to please you, but they will never go back to the old layout. And they will never support both layouts. That would be impractical, a nightmare to maintain, and downright stupid.
Why bother?
They're the opposite of The Attention Monger. They have nothing on their Facebook. They even have The Question Mark as their profile picture. They list maybe one or two interests, bands, and movies, and that's pretty much it. Their About Me section is empty. They have no photo albums or notes, and they never update their status. They've never commented on a single photo or note since they registered. In fact, they only really got a Facebook because you forced them to. Because you're The Attention Monger and you wanted them to look at your profile. Nice work ...
That concludes the rather extensive list. Basically, if you're thinking you may be doing something wrong (or annoying) on Facebook, consult The Ten Commandments of Facebook before continuing. It will answer all of your questions if this list didn't.
The Poker
I don't actually need to say anything about this. It's self explanatory. Why does poking exist? It's stupid. Stop poking me.
The Groupie
The Groupie is the guy who thinks every cause, every inside joke, every event, everything deserves a Facebook group. It doesn't. Coincidently, most Groupies tend to be quite illiterate and can't even properly convey their cause in less than seventy-five characters. This leads to his group name having far too many punctuation marks and not enough legitimate words. Also, lots of abbreviations.
As if there aren't already enough groups out there. Heck, there are duplicates of groups, just spelled and exclaimed differently. You can find fan groups, anti-fan groups, event groups, groups trying to be the biggest group, groups against groups, groups that are against groups that are against groups, groups against duplicate groups (ironically, there's a ton of those ... Check it), groups ... You get the idea. All that, and there's not even really a point to them. If you're a fan of something, why join a group? Add it to your Interests ...
The Groupie may also be known for being ...
The Invitation Freak
Back in 2007, shortly after Facebook apps were launched, Facebook had over 3,000 apps you could add, and was averaging 100 new apps every day. That's way too many to sift through. Unfortunately, The Invitation Freak will somehow find time to sift through them all and invite you to all of them as well. Numerous times. (I'm still not sure whether vampires or werewolves are better ...)
But he won't just do this with apps. No, he'll do it with groups, pages, events ... everything. Anything that has the "Invite People to Join" button, The Invitation Freak will invite you to it. The reason Facebook has become so insecure recently and has been the result of countless hacking attempts is essentially the fault of The Invitation Freak. Anyone can write an app; therefore the same geniuses who keep Symantec and McAfee in business will also make apps to hack Facebook.
The Obnoxious Tagger
The Obnoxious Tagger thinks your life isn't complete without theirs. That's why they have to tag you in all of their notes, photos, and videos. They think you need to know about the good time they had, about how depressed they are, or whatever.
Quickly check out this page on tagging in Facebook. Notice, under photos, it says, "Facebook provides users with the opportunity to identify the people in their photos by 'tagging' the images." ... Hold on, let me just say it again "... identify the people in their photos ..." This would imply the person was, in fact, in the photo. This principle should also be applied to Notes. If the person is not actually mentioned in the note, you don't need to tag them.
Look, everything you do or add on Facebook will show up in my News Feed moments after you do it, so it's not like I don't know you wrote a note. I suppose the cause of this may be because The Obnoxious Tagger is also actually ...
The Attention Monger
The Attention Monger has to be seen on Facebook. They update their status on an unhealthy basis, constantly put pictures (of themselves) into albums, update their status again (even though they aren't doing anything new), comment on all your photos and notes, right on everyone’s wall (because it will show up in the News Feed!) ... Anything that can be posted on, they will post on. Anything that can be updated, they will update so they're always at the top of your News Feed. Just met them? They'll add you. Just added an album and forgot to tag them in a photo? They'll tag it for you.
Their profile is completely full. They list every band, every movie, every everything they possibly can in their profile. They even have that Extended Profile app to add MORE, just in case you actually do pay attention to them for once ... They want you to know how awesome they are.
Unfortunately, people who see The Attention Monger all too often must ask the question ...
Do I Know You?
This person adds you when they don't really know you. You meet them once, they permanently engrain your name into their memory because they think you're cute, and then they go back to their dorm and add you as a friend. But you aren't really friends. Webster says a friend is "one attached to another by affection or esteem" or "a favored companion". Someone can't be either of these things after one or two meetings, no matter how cute they are.
Then there's the person on Facebook who thinks they're on MySpace. I think they literally just search for random names and add people when they're bored. I used to know somebody who would just always look up their own name and add anyone whom they had that common bond with.
Finally, there's the "I know you through your cousin" guy. Look, we've never met, so why are you adding me? I don't care if you know my cousin, or you went to school with my parents and you're fifty (that happened to me once). Facebook is a social networking site, not an online dating community. Although some of you seem to have a pretty severe misunderstanding about that.
The Creeper
The Creeper always is the first to comment on your photos of the previous night’s slumber party. He always knows your latest status update (he has them texted to his phone), and he's not afraid to ask you about them in person. He's always curious about your camping trip last weekend (he knows you went on it because he saw the album). He sends you messages and writes on your wall about how he hasn't seen you in a while, but you look like you're having fun.
Oh, and he also started texting you. He got your number from your profile.
The Complainer
The Complainer basically hates Facebook. Everything about it. The new design sucks, it's always slow, and you need to be able to customize profiles, why don't they make an app that does this?
Look, if you want a customizable profile, go back to MySpace. We don't want your glitter here. Facebook is clean and intuitive (and quiet ... Yes, you, who uploads music on your MySpace). Go design your own website if Facebook isn't good enough for you, but there's a very important fact you must remember: Facebook is free. And has far less obnoxious ads than MySpace or Xanga.
And, I just have to say this, no matter how many people you get to join a group, some magnificent thing will not happen. For instance, Facebook will not change the design back if you get 10 million people to join your group. They invested months into designing and programming it, and you think they're going to just throw it away? They'll try to upgrade it more to please you, but they will never go back to the old layout. And they will never support both layouts. That would be impractical, a nightmare to maintain, and downright stupid.
Why bother?
They're the opposite of The Attention Monger. They have nothing on their Facebook. They even have The Question Mark as their profile picture. They list maybe one or two interests, bands, and movies, and that's pretty much it. Their About Me section is empty. They have no photo albums or notes, and they never update their status. They've never commented on a single photo or note since they registered. In fact, they only really got a Facebook because you forced them to. Because you're The Attention Monger and you wanted them to look at your profile. Nice work ...
That concludes the rather extensive list. Basically, if you're thinking you may be doing something wrong (or annoying) on Facebook, consult The Ten Commandments of Facebook before continuing. It will answer all of your questions if this list didn't.
Facebook's Double Posting ...
10/22/08 10:39 PM
Just as a random note,
what is the deal with Facebook posting some of my
notes twice? Don’t you know how to read a feed? I’ve
even gone back and deleted the duplicates, but guess
what? They appear again a couple days later. So, in
case any of you were wondering, that’s why I have
double posts on some of my older blogs on the
Facebook Note stream ... Weird.
Politicians and Elections
10/22/08 10:33 PM
The days of honest
politics are far behind us, unfortunately. Which is
frustrating. Seems you can’t just find out what a
candidate actually
stands for these days,
all you can find out is how horribly terrible of a
candidate the other candidate is. And, trust me, he’s horrible. The
things he did as a teen ...
So, what’s the deal with politicians literally just making up crap about their opponent? Well, according to a fairly unreliable source (Mom, don’t read that article), the first election who’s advertising campaign was built solely on tearing the opponent down was in 1800, in the election between Jefferson and Adams. Believe it or not, people actually debated about prevalent issues of society before the 1800 election. Crazy to think about, I know.
I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s rather fed up with misleading (and flat out lying) campaign ads. Look, I know you think my generation is stupid, and, quite honestly, my generation and the up-and-coming generation are probably the stupidest America has yet to see, but ... Give us a little credit. One campaign ad comes on, discrediting the candidates opponent, saying things about them that sound absolutely horrible ... How could you vote for such a person?! But wait, there’s more. The very next commercial you see is an ad for the opposing candidate, first addressing all the “lies” of the previous ad, and then telling you the real story ... Turns out the candidate you thought was so good was actually caught up in a dishonest canal scheme back in his prime. And you thought that only happened in Oscar Wilde plays.
So, who am I supposed to believe? You both flat out contradict each other. You both accuse the other of horrendous acts that I clearly wouldn’t support. But, according to the other one, these accusations are just completely made up. Apparently both parties are just making up crap about the other candidate ... Or so the other candidate claims. It’s a vicious circle.
Every once in a while a candidate may actually claim he stands for some political viewpoint. Ironically, this claim may change, depending on how the public reacts to their opponents claims, or what’s popular. But the vast majority of their campaign money is spent simply tearing the other candidate down.
Oh, also, when they finally do get around to telling you views/strategies, they won’t make any sense. Not because you’re too stupid to understand them, but because they’re actually too outlandish for anyone, President or not, to accomplish. Fact: The President doesn’t even have enough power to do 90% of what his campaign ads claim. (The percentage isn’t really a fact, but the rest of the statement is.)
I would like to see a 1796 election again, where candidates actually talked about pressing issues in society, told us what they stood for, and told us what they were planning (like, for real, not some ridiculous statement that sounds good but is impossible to perform) to do about current events that needed attention. Honestly, why is it Fox even has to hold the “Fact Check” (or whatever it’s called) after each debate to see which “facts” one candidate said about another that wasn’t actually true. Or, why the moderator at the Vice Presidential Debate even had to ask the question, “What have your candidates campaign ads promised the American public that they can’t actually deliver?” Honestly, what annoys me the most is that the next leader of our country, the man whom we should all revere, can’t even adequately or properly explain his own viewpoints, let alone accurately portray his opponents. Worse, he flat out lies about his opponent. And we want him running our country?
The annoying thing is, an honest election will never happen. Because we’re on a roll, in a vicious cycle, that probably can’t be broken without some law being passed. Something about slander or libel being illegal, I don’t know. So, I guess we’re doomed to never actually have an honest election again. And if a candidate even tried, there’s no way his opponent would honor that ... They would just rip him apart like the innocent pup he would be.
So, what’s the deal with politicians literally just making up crap about their opponent? Well, according to a fairly unreliable source (Mom, don’t read that article), the first election who’s advertising campaign was built solely on tearing the opponent down was in 1800, in the election between Jefferson and Adams. Believe it or not, people actually debated about prevalent issues of society before the 1800 election. Crazy to think about, I know.
I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s rather fed up with misleading (and flat out lying) campaign ads. Look, I know you think my generation is stupid, and, quite honestly, my generation and the up-and-coming generation are probably the stupidest America has yet to see, but ... Give us a little credit. One campaign ad comes on, discrediting the candidates opponent, saying things about them that sound absolutely horrible ... How could you vote for such a person?! But wait, there’s more. The very next commercial you see is an ad for the opposing candidate, first addressing all the “lies” of the previous ad, and then telling you the real story ... Turns out the candidate you thought was so good was actually caught up in a dishonest canal scheme back in his prime. And you thought that only happened in Oscar Wilde plays.
So, who am I supposed to believe? You both flat out contradict each other. You both accuse the other of horrendous acts that I clearly wouldn’t support. But, according to the other one, these accusations are just completely made up. Apparently both parties are just making up crap about the other candidate ... Or so the other candidate claims. It’s a vicious circle.
Every once in a while a candidate may actually claim he stands for some political viewpoint. Ironically, this claim may change, depending on how the public reacts to their opponents claims, or what’s popular. But the vast majority of their campaign money is spent simply tearing the other candidate down.
Oh, also, when they finally do get around to telling you views/strategies, they won’t make any sense. Not because you’re too stupid to understand them, but because they’re actually too outlandish for anyone, President or not, to accomplish. Fact: The President doesn’t even have enough power to do 90% of what his campaign ads claim. (The percentage isn’t really a fact, but the rest of the statement is.)
I would like to see a 1796 election again, where candidates actually talked about pressing issues in society, told us what they stood for, and told us what they were planning (like, for real, not some ridiculous statement that sounds good but is impossible to perform) to do about current events that needed attention. Honestly, why is it Fox even has to hold the “Fact Check” (or whatever it’s called) after each debate to see which “facts” one candidate said about another that wasn’t actually true. Or, why the moderator at the Vice Presidential Debate even had to ask the question, “What have your candidates campaign ads promised the American public that they can’t actually deliver?” Honestly, what annoys me the most is that the next leader of our country, the man whom we should all revere, can’t even adequately or properly explain his own viewpoints, let alone accurately portray his opponents. Worse, he flat out lies about his opponent. And we want him running our country?
The annoying thing is, an honest election will never happen. Because we’re on a roll, in a vicious cycle, that probably can’t be broken without some law being passed. Something about slander or libel being illegal, I don’t know. So, I guess we’re doomed to never actually have an honest election again. And if a candidate even tried, there’s no way his opponent would honor that ... They would just rip him apart like the innocent pup he would be.
Dave and Alex's Happy Fun-Time Blog
10/16/08 04:32 PM
Dave and I decided to
start a collaborative blog that’s probably more
awesome than anything else you may be reading, so you
should check it out.
Dave and Alex’s Happy Fun-Time Blog
Dave and Alex’s Happy Fun-Time Blog
My "Second" Publication
06/15/08 11:24 AM
Well, it's happened
again! I submitted a picture to The “Blog” of
“Unnecessary” Quotation Marks a few weeks back, and
it's just recently been added to the site! This one
was on a ramp (obviously) in a homeless shelter some
friends and I were volunteering at in Dayton, Ohio.
It was in the Employees Only section, so it doesn't
get seen too often, but I was lucky enough to witness
it :). (Aren't you glad we have cameras on our cell
phones?)
As a side note, I just realized I don't even have a
link to The Blog under my favorite blogs! Sorry,
Bethany. I'm fixing that now!
For the post on The Blog, click here.
What the Media Refuses to Admit About Gas Prices
05/26/08 06:08 PM
Ah, summer. A time for
good and bad things to start happening again, like
they do every year. A time for flowers and trees to
start blooming, for grass to start growing, and farms
to be planted. A time when new music starts to be
released, both good
and
absolutely
horrible (has music lost all intelligence
... and clarity?) music. The time of the year when
far too many girls realize they can again dress
like skanks and still remain warm (could you
possible wear any less threads?). People start
camping and fishing, the smell of freshly mowed
grass is wherever you go, the gnats and bugs
become killer, you can finally feel good about
eating ice cream, multiple summer blockbusters are
opening every weekend (especially in June), and
the price of gas continues to relentless soar.
The media does a fantastic job of blaming the Bush administration; everyone wants to make sure the next president is going to do something about the outrageous treatment of our friends in the Middle East so they'll lower the price of oil. Obviously, if the war was over gas prices would go down, since we're fighting in oil-sensative zones, right? And let's not forget those "don't buy gas" days we all keep getting Facebook invitations to.
Sorry. That's not going to work. And unless our next president can get our economy fixed up, canceling a war won't fix the gas prices either. This is because the war isn't actually going on in oil-sensative zones anymore, despite what the media continues to say. I know we all became paranoid about gas prices and terrorism in 2001 and have associated gas prices with terrorism from that point on, but, for the most part, they're unrelated these days.
In 2002, the US dollar was equivalent to the Euro, one for one. In 2008, one USD will buy you 0.63 Euros. For a fancy graph, check out this Wall Street Journal article which will explain this all better than I ever could. Foreign oil prices are up a bit, but the majority of the fault lies with our decaying economy and especially the dollar.
So, while people complain (and the media continues to do it it's job: Misinforming the public) about the Bush administration doing an awful job, and the war in the Middle East driving our gas prices higher and higher, you now know the real reason for our high gas prices. And, next time you're filling up your tank and subsequently emptying your bank account, just think how fortunate you are. After all, unless you live in California, the vast majority of other countries still pays far more for one gallon of gas than you do. Europe pays over 8 dollars (5 Euros) for a gallon of gas, and they aren't even panicking over there.
News Flash: Boycotting gas prices? Participating in those "Don't Buy Gas" days? That's only going to drive the price of gasoline higher. If a successful boycott were actually carried out (most successfully on a single distributor), the result would be less competition for the remaining companies, thus driving the price UP not DOWN because they would have less reason to price competitively. More than likely, however, a successful boycott is near impossible since one day of sales won't hurt a gasoline retailer; the customers will simply buy it all back the next day. We all have to get to work, right? (As a side note, I have yet to find a Facebook group that actually spells boycott correctly. There are two t's. My generation is going down the pitiful ...)
You want gas prices to go back down? Cut up your credit cards and purchase things up front, like you actually have money for them, not on credit.
The media does a fantastic job of blaming the Bush administration; everyone wants to make sure the next president is going to do something about the outrageous treatment of our friends in the Middle East so they'll lower the price of oil. Obviously, if the war was over gas prices would go down, since we're fighting in oil-sensative zones, right? And let's not forget those "don't buy gas" days we all keep getting Facebook invitations to.
Sorry. That's not going to work. And unless our next president can get our economy fixed up, canceling a war won't fix the gas prices either. This is because the war isn't actually going on in oil-sensative zones anymore, despite what the media continues to say. I know we all became paranoid about gas prices and terrorism in 2001 and have associated gas prices with terrorism from that point on, but, for the most part, they're unrelated these days.
In 2002, the US dollar was equivalent to the Euro, one for one. In 2008, one USD will buy you 0.63 Euros. For a fancy graph, check out this Wall Street Journal article which will explain this all better than I ever could. Foreign oil prices are up a bit, but the majority of the fault lies with our decaying economy and especially the dollar.
So, while people complain (and the media continues to do it it's job: Misinforming the public) about the Bush administration doing an awful job, and the war in the Middle East driving our gas prices higher and higher, you now know the real reason for our high gas prices. And, next time you're filling up your tank and subsequently emptying your bank account, just think how fortunate you are. After all, unless you live in California, the vast majority of other countries still pays far more for one gallon of gas than you do. Europe pays over 8 dollars (5 Euros) for a gallon of gas, and they aren't even panicking over there.
News Flash: Boycotting gas prices? Participating in those "Don't Buy Gas" days? That's only going to drive the price of gasoline higher. If a successful boycott were actually carried out (most successfully on a single distributor), the result would be less competition for the remaining companies, thus driving the price UP not DOWN because they would have less reason to price competitively. More than likely, however, a successful boycott is near impossible since one day of sales won't hurt a gasoline retailer; the customers will simply buy it all back the next day. We all have to get to work, right? (As a side note, I have yet to find a Facebook group that actually spells boycott correctly. There are two t's. My generation is going down the pitiful ...)
You want gas prices to go back down? Cut up your credit cards and purchase things up front, like you actually have money for them, not on credit.
I Got "Published"
04/29/08 05:56 PM
How many of you have visited The "Blog" of
"Unnecessary" Quotation Marks (henceforth referred to
as "The Blog")? I peruse it frequently, especially
when I need to be distracted from homework or just
need to laugh at others' lack of proper punctuation.
A few months ago, over Christmas break, I was visiting my sweet Grandma in her Waterloo retirement facility. They had a sign up that immediately made me think of The Blog. I took a picture on my phone and emailed it to myself for submittal later. Sure, it was cold and icy outside, and it was a facility for older folks, so I can understand why they would tell us to use caution. It appears as though they weren't sure what type of caution we should use, if any real caution at all, so they did what any self-respecting sceptic would have done in the situation; add quotation marks!
Just today I received an email from Bethany saying she used my picture on The Blog! Thanks, Bethany!
A few months ago, over Christmas break, I was visiting my sweet Grandma in her Waterloo retirement facility. They had a sign up that immediately made me think of The Blog. I took a picture on my phone and emailed it to myself for submittal later. Sure, it was cold and icy outside, and it was a facility for older folks, so I can understand why they would tell us to use caution. It appears as though they weren't sure what type of caution we should use, if any real caution at all, so they did what any self-respecting sceptic would have done in the situation; add quotation marks!
Just today I received an email from Bethany saying she used my picture on The Blog! Thanks, Bethany!
For the post on The Blog, click
here.
Site Stats
04/21/08 11:04 AM
I thought it would be
interesting to report the site statistics since
relaunching AlexLaird.net (finally) on February 17th,
2008 with a new look and feel. I also switched
servers on my blog, instead of hosting via blogger at
blogspot.alexlaird.net, the blog is now hosted
via Surpass Hosting
(as is the rest of
my site) and managed directly by ... Myself :D. No
more limits! I can do whatever I want with it now.
Two whole months have elapsed, and I finally got around to checking my site meter. Here are the fancy-pants statistics.
That's all for now. Thanks to all the viewers of the site and readers of the blog in just these two short months! Hopefully I'll be able to post more when school's out and beautiful Summer has set in!
On a final note, if you use Google Reader or some such subscription service to view this blog, the name of the blog may still appear as "Define 'Cool'" when, in actuality, I have changed the name to "Alex's Musings." You may have to rename it manually since some RSS readers update only post feeds and not the name of the feed.
Two whole months have elapsed, and I finally got around to checking my site meter. Here are the fancy-pants statistics.
- There have been over 2,500 unique page visits to AlexLaird.net/blog. Even more have read from the Feed, so that would be all you faithful Facebookers and Google Readers out there who read it the lame way without actually visiting my site.
- Surprisingly, over 6% of these visit last longer than an hour!
- Over 400 of these hits come from Cedarville University's campus. There also appears to be a large cluster of readers in Virginia State, San Fransisco, Germany, Australia, Canada (sorry about that one post, guys ...), and Amsterdam. I don't know how I acquired such a reader group, but thanks for showing interest.
- I'm proud to report that 40% of my visitors view this site with a Mac. Only 38% use Windows, and, sadly, only 0.2% have viewed while on Linux.
- Still, and going to show that Safari is not the most popular browser on Mac, only 27.4% of you Mac users are using Safari. 31.8% of visitors use Internet Explorer.
- The largest amount of Search Engine references for me comes from, you guessed it, Google!
- From other sites, Jenna is my biggest supporter :). I get the most referrals from her blog. I also get quite a few viewers from Ben Berberich's blog, Facebook (both Notes and on my Profile), and Ashley's blog.
That's all for now. Thanks to all the viewers of the site and readers of the blog in just these two short months! Hopefully I'll be able to post more when school's out and beautiful Summer has set in!
On a final note, if you use Google Reader or some such subscription service to view this blog, the name of the blog may still appear as "Define 'Cool'" when, in actuality, I have changed the name to "Alex's Musings." You may have to rename it manually since some RSS readers update only post feeds and not the name of the feed.
Vote for Me
04/09/08 11:09 AM
Nah, I'm not running
for any political office here at Cedarville. However,
I am currently attempting to get more votes than
Barack Obama and John McCain (I'm not even worried
about Hillary) on a poll, so you should go vote for
me! It'll take two seconds.
Just click here and cast your vote on the right! That's all there is to it :).
Just click here and cast your vote on the right! That's all there is to it :).
Does My Implied Right to Privacy Cover Mental Privacy?
03/26/08 04:07 PM
The Constitution
doesn't explicitly give Americans a "Right to
Privacy." However, The Courts have upheld the fact
that the right is implied by the 1st, 3rd, 4th, 5th,
and 9th amendments in the Bill of Rights.
The beautiful thing about privacy being an implicit right, not an explicit right, is that it essentially means you have the right so long as the Judge ruling your case likes you. Let's face it, if he doesn't like you, or disagrees with your case, he's going to say your situation isn't covered by your Right to Privacy Insurance. So the question at hand is, "How much does our Right to Privacy cover?"
Ever seen Minority Report? That movie isn't too far off in some aspects. Let's look at targeted advertising, for example. Engineers have found a way to broadcast hypersonic sound, meaning the audio is broadcast in a focused beam; it can only be heard by the individual standing directly in its path.
A&E has started using hypersonic sound in some places to advertise one of their shows about the paranormal. Interesting, eh? The A&E audio is on a repeat with a female voice whispering, "Who's there?"
While this is a fascinating concept, you have to wonder if the fifth amendment protect you from self-incrimination by your own mind?
We'll be having some interesting Civil Liberties cases in the near future; Paul Root Wolpe of the nonprofit Center for Cognitive Liberty and Ethics proposes an interesting question with his statement, "If the skull is not an absolute domain of privacy, there are not privacy domains left."
The beautiful thing about privacy being an implicit right, not an explicit right, is that it essentially means you have the right so long as the Judge ruling your case likes you. Let's face it, if he doesn't like you, or disagrees with your case, he's going to say your situation isn't covered by your Right to Privacy Insurance. So the question at hand is, "How much does our Right to Privacy cover?"
Ever seen Minority Report? That movie isn't too far off in some aspects. Let's look at targeted advertising, for example. Engineers have found a way to broadcast hypersonic sound, meaning the audio is broadcast in a focused beam; it can only be heard by the individual standing directly in its path.
A&E has started using hypersonic sound in some places to advertise one of their shows about the paranormal. Interesting, eh? The A&E audio is on a repeat with a female voice whispering, "Who's there?"
While this is a fascinating concept, you have to wonder if the fifth amendment protect you from self-incrimination by your own mind?
We'll be having some interesting Civil Liberties cases in the near future; Paul Root Wolpe of the nonprofit Center for Cognitive Liberty and Ethics proposes an interesting question with his statement, "If the skull is not an absolute domain of privacy, there are not privacy domains left."
My Toilet Paper Rant/A Tribute to Mary Greene
02/21/08 10:59 AM
I have a strange liking
of cleaning things dirty, for instance, bathrooms.
I'm not sure how this came about; perhaps it was the
wonderful upbringing I had by my two amazing parents
who instilled cleanliness into me (thanks Mom and
Dad)! Whatever it was, I'm stuck with it. I enjoy
cleaning sinks, toilets, and I especially love
vacuuming. Too bad my roommate never lets me vacuum
our room. But I digress ...
Toilet paper, as I once learned, is meant to be installed one way and one way only. See, I work at a wonderful camp over the Summers as the Camp Aid. Basically, I do all the dirty work you don't want to ... but I do :P. Cleaning the bathhouse was one of my many jobs, so, of course, toilet paper rolls needed to be replaced. Frequently. My Camp Aid buddies and I used to take statistics of the ratio of rolls we replaced in the boys bathrooms versus the girls bathrooms, but we won't go there. Although, in case you were interested and are otherwise uneducated, there were always significantly more replaced in the girls bathrooms.
Mary, our fantastic cook for the camp and otherwise handywoman, once taught me this specific way to replace toilet paper rolls. You see, when you get boxes of toilet paper in bulk, they all come wrapped in tissue paper. I never realized it until Mary pointed it out, but the tissue paper actually has an arrow on it, instructing you which way to put the toilet paper into the dispenser. And the arrow isn't just there for good looks! Oh, no. If you put the toilet paper into the dispense the proper way, the roll will unwind closest to you, and you can therefore tear towards yourself, instead of having to lean forward and attempt to tear of the roll away from yourself, which I find always ends awkwardly.
This week, the toilet paper roll was almost empty from the dispenser here in my dorm. Finally, a MASSIVE (and it was HUGE) roll showed up on the back of the toilet. The dispenser still had some left, so the maintenance guys must have just left it there in anticipation, eagerly awaiting to change our roll. The rolls of toilet paper here are huge, which is unfortunate, because when they've just been replaced, the rolls are so big that it's impossible to pull and get some toilet paper out without prematurely ripping it because the roll is too heavy to turn in the dispense ... but that's another whole post.
Anyway, the other day, the dispenser in my bathroom finally became empty, and the maintenance crew replaced the roll. I didn't realize until I went in to do my business that they replaced it backwards! That's right. They made me have to tear forward. And you can't open the dispenser to turn it around, so until this huge roll is finished, I will be stuck tearing forward.
I love the maintenance crew here, and they do a fantastic job, don't get me wrong! That just reminded me of camp, which made me happy, and Mary, who is amazing and knows everything. So perhaps this post is more a tribute to Mary, who knows everything about cooking, tractors, cars, farming, bugs, getting calk off your hands when you get them stuck together, nursing a wound after you accidently sliced your hand open multiple times on shattered porcelain from a toilet (infection?). Oh Mary Greene, how we love you :)!
Toilet paper, as I once learned, is meant to be installed one way and one way only. See, I work at a wonderful camp over the Summers as the Camp Aid. Basically, I do all the dirty work you don't want to ... but I do :P. Cleaning the bathhouse was one of my many jobs, so, of course, toilet paper rolls needed to be replaced. Frequently. My Camp Aid buddies and I used to take statistics of the ratio of rolls we replaced in the boys bathrooms versus the girls bathrooms, but we won't go there. Although, in case you were interested and are otherwise uneducated, there were always significantly more replaced in the girls bathrooms.
Mary, our fantastic cook for the camp and otherwise handywoman, once taught me this specific way to replace toilet paper rolls. You see, when you get boxes of toilet paper in bulk, they all come wrapped in tissue paper. I never realized it until Mary pointed it out, but the tissue paper actually has an arrow on it, instructing you which way to put the toilet paper into the dispenser. And the arrow isn't just there for good looks! Oh, no. If you put the toilet paper into the dispense the proper way, the roll will unwind closest to you, and you can therefore tear towards yourself, instead of having to lean forward and attempt to tear of the roll away from yourself, which I find always ends awkwardly.
This week, the toilet paper roll was almost empty from the dispenser here in my dorm. Finally, a MASSIVE (and it was HUGE) roll showed up on the back of the toilet. The dispenser still had some left, so the maintenance guys must have just left it there in anticipation, eagerly awaiting to change our roll. The rolls of toilet paper here are huge, which is unfortunate, because when they've just been replaced, the rolls are so big that it's impossible to pull and get some toilet paper out without prematurely ripping it because the roll is too heavy to turn in the dispense ... but that's another whole post.
Anyway, the other day, the dispenser in my bathroom finally became empty, and the maintenance crew replaced the roll. I didn't realize until I went in to do my business that they replaced it backwards! That's right. They made me have to tear forward. And you can't open the dispenser to turn it around, so until this huge roll is finished, I will be stuck tearing forward.
I love the maintenance crew here, and they do a fantastic job, don't get me wrong! That just reminded me of camp, which made me happy, and Mary, who is amazing and knows everything. So perhaps this post is more a tribute to Mary, who knows everything about cooking, tractors, cars, farming, bugs, getting calk off your hands when you get them stuck together, nursing a wound after you accidently sliced your hand open multiple times on shattered porcelain from a toilet (infection?). Oh Mary Greene, how we love you :)!
Entropy vs. Atheism
04/04/07 07:45 PM
Let's start with a few
definitions to make things clear.
The Law of Conservation of Mass: Mass is neither created nor destroyed in any ordinary chemical reaction. The mass of substances produced (products) by a chemical reaction is always equal to the mass of the reacting substances (reactants).
The Law of Entropy: There is an inevitable tendency towards disorder within a closed system as potential energy gets "spent". "The physical Universe's macrocosmic proclivities of becoming locally ever more dissynchronous, asymmetric, diffuse, and multiplyingly expansive.
Entropy: A measure of the amount of disorder in a system.
_______________________
Let's Start With Entropy:
The Law of Conservation of Mass, put simply, (because let's face it, an actual definition is never put simply) basically says when you have a chemical reaction, you can't lose any atoms or molecules. If you start with carbon, you'll have carbon in the final product as well in some way, shape, or form. It may look different, and it may act different, but you can never just lose it.
The Law of Entropy simple says everything is constantly moving towards a state of disorder. Let's face it, if you leave your room for three weeks, the next time you go in there it's not going to look cleaner. In fact, it will be messier. It will be more disorganized until you put some energy back into it to reorganize it. Sadly, it's a law of nature and, thus, cannot be argued with. Just learn to deal with it.
With these two facts of life staring you in the face, keep in mind they are LAWS. There's no question about it. They've been proven millions of times. Any scientist you talk to will tell you, "Yes, those are laws. They cannot be disputed." So what does that mean for Evolution?
Evolution suggests that we're constantly evolving, becoming more developed and more complex. How does that work with the Law of Entropy? I usually define the evolution theory as, "Nothing exploded and created everything. Perfectly synced, perfectly built, perfectly organized. The everything that we know as the infinite(?) universe."
First of all, you're suggesting that in one instant things didn't become more disordered. No, in fact, everything came into perfect order, all at once. I can't get my mind to grasp that, and I've tried. That contradicts the Law of Entropy, and I don't think that the Law of Entropy was also "created" in the same instant the entire universe was.
Second of all, we're contradicting the Law of Conservation of Mass. According to that, I can't react two simple molecules together and gain or lose ANY of them. They must all stay intact. And you're saying, somehow, someway, absolutely NOTHING had a chemical reaction with NOTHING, exploded (because that's essentially what a chemical reaction is), and created all matter as we know it. Once again, you're contradicting yourself, and science says that if there's even a shred of evidence to contradict a law or theory, for instance, the Theory of Evolution, that theory is no longer acceptable. So why do we still accept Evolution and teach it in our schools when it's contradicted? Maybe I'm missing something... please point it out to me if I am. I'm open to opinions.
Sydney Harris, a popular, syndicated columnist once said, "There is a factor called 'entropy' in physics, indicating that the whole universe of matter is running down, and ultimately will reduce itself to uniform chaos. This follows from the Second Law of Thermodynamics, which seems about as basic and unquestionable to modem scientific minds as any truth can be. At the same time that this is happening on the physical level of existence, something quite different seems to be happening on the biological level: structure and species are becoming more complex, more sophisticated, more organized, with higher degrees of performance and consciousness."
I don't understand how you can say that. How can you say, "Well, yah, it is a law. But only here. Over there it's not really a law." It's like saying, "Well, officer, I'm from Montana, and we don't have speed limit laws there, so why do I have to follow your speed limit laws here?" You just do. It's a law. How much more obvious do I have to make it?!
I asked my Chemistry teacher, who introduced me to the Law of Entropy, "This is a law, right?"
"Yes."
"How does this work with the Theory of Evolution than?"
"Yah, the thing is, it really doesn't. Scientists will try and tell you it does, but it's bogus. They can't work together."
_______________________
And Then Move On To Atheism:
If you can convince me, and make me comfortable with the fact, that there is no God, couldn't be a God, and even shouldn't be a God, I will consider atheism.
Laws of science are great and all that, but they beg another question. Where does the law come from? What force makes that law a law? And how is it that the universe is infinite? How is it that something can't have an end? Everything has an end. This minute has an end. This hour, day, week, month. Life. Our minds are not built to grasp the concept of infinity, no matter how much Calculus tries to prove it. More importantly, that matter which we cannot gain or lose in a chemical reaction? Where did it come from in the first place?
Sure, a star is a burning ball of gas. And a gas is free flowing molecules that continuously circle around each other. And a molecule is a bundle of atoms. And atoms are built up of protons, neutrons, electrons, and a nucleus. So what? Where did the nucleus come from? What makes the nucleus? You can't even SEE the nucleus!! How do you even know it exists to hold the matter you're sitting on together?
How is it we have feelings? What are feelings? Where do they come from? From your emotions. What spawns emotion? Your brain waves, which are your thoughts. What are thoughts? Where do they come from? Are they molecules of some kind too? If so, how do they contain information?
Why am I not an atheist? After all, it would be so much more fun if I didn't have to believe in God, right? Life would be easier, and I could do whatever I wanted. No rules to bog me down... nothing. I'm not a Christian because my family are Christians. I'm not a Christian because anyone has made me a Christian. I'm not a Christian because I read my Bible, go to Church on Sundays, or pray before I eat a meal. I'm a Christian because science leaves too many question unanswered. There are too many open doors that scientists claim they can answer, but if you throw enough ten letter words that nobody knows the definition of into your explanation, of COURSE you sound like you know what you're talking about!! Among other things, I'm a Christian because, to me, it's the most sensible religion! Where did all these things come from? A supreme being, a being far beyond our comprehension, just like infinity, created them. That's why they don't make sense to us. Honestly, think as hard as you can. Give me another explanation that works as well as that one and I'll consider believing it. I'm a Christian because believing there is a supreme being, God, who created me and is watching over me and cares about me more than I could ever fathom seems a whole lot less scary to me than believing I'm alone and lost in this world. Just another nobody. Is that using God? I think so. But isn't that exactly what he wants?
When I think of atheism, I think of free falling without ground to ever be hit. You're falling, falling, falling... nothing to catch you, no reason to be falling, no reason to even exist, you just ARE. In the words of one of my good friends, "We're like rocks.... STUCK on the river." We don't serve a purpose, we just look kinda pretty. And some of us not even that.
I don't mind heights, but I hate falling. Especially when I don't know how far I'm falling. There's absolutely no point to do anything if you're an atheist. Sure, live for the moment, and do what feels good now. But the inevitable will happen someday. Just like everyone else you know, you too will die. What happens then? Do you believe in reincarnation? That's submitting to a higher being to reincarnate you, and then you're not a true atheist anymore. How do you KNOW you'll reincarnate? That's putting an awful lot of faith in a guess and hope! Are you just going to die and cease to exist? In a black nothingness? What does that mean? Where did that black nothingness come from? Are you going to have some sort of after life? What governs that after life? What made you die in the first place?! What makes you EXIST in the first place?!
Honestly, there are too many unanswered questions that no scientist will EVER, no matter how hard he or she tries, be able to convince me of an answer. I'm saving these questions for Heaven, because I'm convinced someONE must have had a say in the creation of me, everyone around me, and everything around me, and He'll know the answer to all of these questions.
Being an atheist would scare me. I, for one, hate being alone. Atheism seems lonely to me. I feel comfortable and safe knowing that I have a God who is watching over my life. I don't just think that, I can feel it. You can't know what I mean unless you experience it for yourself, because there's absolutely no way of describing it. It seems to me that believing in God is the only sensible solution. The only solution that works. And the only belief that doesn't scare me. So why is it that Christianity is the most targeted religion for persecution?
I can't understand why, if you are going to be an atheist, you would have morals. Seriously, if you're not believing in anything, and you're not living for anything but for yourself, others, and the moment, why have morals? Think of how much fun you could have. But what do you even try to base those morals on? A feeling in your heart that tells you, "Hey, maybe you should do this. That would be a good idea." OK... once again, where does that feeling come from? But basing a moral on a feeling is dangerous ground for yourself and those around you. I, for one, know how unstable feelings are. One minute you may say, "Hey, I am NOT going to touch that girl because... well, I don't know why, but it somehow just seems wrong is all." But what about when it's really late? And you're tired. What if she's wearing a really tight skirt, or a low cut shirt? What if she's just looking especially beautiful that day? What if she leans forward? Are your feelings changing now? Basing a so called "moral" on a feeling will most certainly hurt you, and will also those around you. My morals are based on convictions I have from the Bible, which is one of God's ways of communicating to me. Basing your morals on someone elses convictions doesn't work either, because either that persons convictions may change, or, like I stated earlier, you might get tired... you can't trust your own feelings.
Does all this make you uncomfortable? Does it scare you? It scares me. I don't think these are little questions. They're huge, life changing questions, and the answers, according to an atheist, are very vague, if not impossible. I could go on for quite a while, but I think the imagination is the most creative way to form any idea, so I'll leave the thoughts up to yourself. I don't have all the answers. I don't have hardly any of the answers.
Why am I not an atheist? Because I can't answer the question, "Why?"
The Law of Conservation of Mass: Mass is neither created nor destroyed in any ordinary chemical reaction. The mass of substances produced (products) by a chemical reaction is always equal to the mass of the reacting substances (reactants).
The Law of Entropy: There is an inevitable tendency towards disorder within a closed system as potential energy gets "spent". "The physical Universe's macrocosmic proclivities of becoming locally ever more dissynchronous, asymmetric, diffuse, and multiplyingly expansive.
Entropy: A measure of the amount of disorder in a system.
_______________________
Let's Start With Entropy:
The Law of Conservation of Mass, put simply, (because let's face it, an actual definition is never put simply) basically says when you have a chemical reaction, you can't lose any atoms or molecules. If you start with carbon, you'll have carbon in the final product as well in some way, shape, or form. It may look different, and it may act different, but you can never just lose it.
The Law of Entropy simple says everything is constantly moving towards a state of disorder. Let's face it, if you leave your room for three weeks, the next time you go in there it's not going to look cleaner. In fact, it will be messier. It will be more disorganized until you put some energy back into it to reorganize it. Sadly, it's a law of nature and, thus, cannot be argued with. Just learn to deal with it.
With these two facts of life staring you in the face, keep in mind they are LAWS. There's no question about it. They've been proven millions of times. Any scientist you talk to will tell you, "Yes, those are laws. They cannot be disputed." So what does that mean for Evolution?
Evolution suggests that we're constantly evolving, becoming more developed and more complex. How does that work with the Law of Entropy? I usually define the evolution theory as, "Nothing exploded and created everything. Perfectly synced, perfectly built, perfectly organized. The everything that we know as the infinite(?) universe."
First of all, you're suggesting that in one instant things didn't become more disordered. No, in fact, everything came into perfect order, all at once. I can't get my mind to grasp that, and I've tried. That contradicts the Law of Entropy, and I don't think that the Law of Entropy was also "created" in the same instant the entire universe was.
Second of all, we're contradicting the Law of Conservation of Mass. According to that, I can't react two simple molecules together and gain or lose ANY of them. They must all stay intact. And you're saying, somehow, someway, absolutely NOTHING had a chemical reaction with NOTHING, exploded (because that's essentially what a chemical reaction is), and created all matter as we know it. Once again, you're contradicting yourself, and science says that if there's even a shred of evidence to contradict a law or theory, for instance, the Theory of Evolution, that theory is no longer acceptable. So why do we still accept Evolution and teach it in our schools when it's contradicted? Maybe I'm missing something... please point it out to me if I am. I'm open to opinions.
Sydney Harris, a popular, syndicated columnist once said, "There is a factor called 'entropy' in physics, indicating that the whole universe of matter is running down, and ultimately will reduce itself to uniform chaos. This follows from the Second Law of Thermodynamics, which seems about as basic and unquestionable to modem scientific minds as any truth can be. At the same time that this is happening on the physical level of existence, something quite different seems to be happening on the biological level: structure and species are becoming more complex, more sophisticated, more organized, with higher degrees of performance and consciousness."
I don't understand how you can say that. How can you say, "Well, yah, it is a law. But only here. Over there it's not really a law." It's like saying, "Well, officer, I'm from Montana, and we don't have speed limit laws there, so why do I have to follow your speed limit laws here?" You just do. It's a law. How much more obvious do I have to make it?!
I asked my Chemistry teacher, who introduced me to the Law of Entropy, "This is a law, right?"
"Yes."
"How does this work with the Theory of Evolution than?"
"Yah, the thing is, it really doesn't. Scientists will try and tell you it does, but it's bogus. They can't work together."
_______________________
And Then Move On To Atheism:
If you can convince me, and make me comfortable with the fact, that there is no God, couldn't be a God, and even shouldn't be a God, I will consider atheism.
Laws of science are great and all that, but they beg another question. Where does the law come from? What force makes that law a law? And how is it that the universe is infinite? How is it that something can't have an end? Everything has an end. This minute has an end. This hour, day, week, month. Life. Our minds are not built to grasp the concept of infinity, no matter how much Calculus tries to prove it. More importantly, that matter which we cannot gain or lose in a chemical reaction? Where did it come from in the first place?
Sure, a star is a burning ball of gas. And a gas is free flowing molecules that continuously circle around each other. And a molecule is a bundle of atoms. And atoms are built up of protons, neutrons, electrons, and a nucleus. So what? Where did the nucleus come from? What makes the nucleus? You can't even SEE the nucleus!! How do you even know it exists to hold the matter you're sitting on together?
How is it we have feelings? What are feelings? Where do they come from? From your emotions. What spawns emotion? Your brain waves, which are your thoughts. What are thoughts? Where do they come from? Are they molecules of some kind too? If so, how do they contain information?
Why am I not an atheist? After all, it would be so much more fun if I didn't have to believe in God, right? Life would be easier, and I could do whatever I wanted. No rules to bog me down... nothing. I'm not a Christian because my family are Christians. I'm not a Christian because anyone has made me a Christian. I'm not a Christian because I read my Bible, go to Church on Sundays, or pray before I eat a meal. I'm a Christian because science leaves too many question unanswered. There are too many open doors that scientists claim they can answer, but if you throw enough ten letter words that nobody knows the definition of into your explanation, of COURSE you sound like you know what you're talking about!! Among other things, I'm a Christian because, to me, it's the most sensible religion! Where did all these things come from? A supreme being, a being far beyond our comprehension, just like infinity, created them. That's why they don't make sense to us. Honestly, think as hard as you can. Give me another explanation that works as well as that one and I'll consider believing it. I'm a Christian because believing there is a supreme being, God, who created me and is watching over me and cares about me more than I could ever fathom seems a whole lot less scary to me than believing I'm alone and lost in this world. Just another nobody. Is that using God? I think so. But isn't that exactly what he wants?
When I think of atheism, I think of free falling without ground to ever be hit. You're falling, falling, falling... nothing to catch you, no reason to be falling, no reason to even exist, you just ARE. In the words of one of my good friends, "We're like rocks.... STUCK on the river." We don't serve a purpose, we just look kinda pretty. And some of us not even that.
I don't mind heights, but I hate falling. Especially when I don't know how far I'm falling. There's absolutely no point to do anything if you're an atheist. Sure, live for the moment, and do what feels good now. But the inevitable will happen someday. Just like everyone else you know, you too will die. What happens then? Do you believe in reincarnation? That's submitting to a higher being to reincarnate you, and then you're not a true atheist anymore. How do you KNOW you'll reincarnate? That's putting an awful lot of faith in a guess and hope! Are you just going to die and cease to exist? In a black nothingness? What does that mean? Where did that black nothingness come from? Are you going to have some sort of after life? What governs that after life? What made you die in the first place?! What makes you EXIST in the first place?!
Honestly, there are too many unanswered questions that no scientist will EVER, no matter how hard he or she tries, be able to convince me of an answer. I'm saving these questions for Heaven, because I'm convinced someONE must have had a say in the creation of me, everyone around me, and everything around me, and He'll know the answer to all of these questions.
Being an atheist would scare me. I, for one, hate being alone. Atheism seems lonely to me. I feel comfortable and safe knowing that I have a God who is watching over my life. I don't just think that, I can feel it. You can't know what I mean unless you experience it for yourself, because there's absolutely no way of describing it. It seems to me that believing in God is the only sensible solution. The only solution that works. And the only belief that doesn't scare me. So why is it that Christianity is the most targeted religion for persecution?
I can't understand why, if you are going to be an atheist, you would have morals. Seriously, if you're not believing in anything, and you're not living for anything but for yourself, others, and the moment, why have morals? Think of how much fun you could have. But what do you even try to base those morals on? A feeling in your heart that tells you, "Hey, maybe you should do this. That would be a good idea." OK... once again, where does that feeling come from? But basing a moral on a feeling is dangerous ground for yourself and those around you. I, for one, know how unstable feelings are. One minute you may say, "Hey, I am NOT going to touch that girl because... well, I don't know why, but it somehow just seems wrong is all." But what about when it's really late? And you're tired. What if she's wearing a really tight skirt, or a low cut shirt? What if she's just looking especially beautiful that day? What if she leans forward? Are your feelings changing now? Basing a so called "moral" on a feeling will most certainly hurt you, and will also those around you. My morals are based on convictions I have from the Bible, which is one of God's ways of communicating to me. Basing your morals on someone elses convictions doesn't work either, because either that persons convictions may change, or, like I stated earlier, you might get tired... you can't trust your own feelings.
Does all this make you uncomfortable? Does it scare you? It scares me. I don't think these are little questions. They're huge, life changing questions, and the answers, according to an atheist, are very vague, if not impossible. I could go on for quite a while, but I think the imagination is the most creative way to form any idea, so I'll leave the thoughts up to yourself. I don't have all the answers. I don't have hardly any of the answers.
Why am I not an atheist? Because I can't answer the question, "Why?"
Ever Aftering
03/19/07 02:22 PM
I walked into the house
today, arriving home from school and work. As I
entered the kitchen a piece of paper on the table
caught my attention. I started to walk away, but then
I got curious and turned back to look at it. At the
top it said, "Ever Aftering, by Ashley Nicole". It
seemed to be a poem, and as I started reading it, it
started to sound very familiar. I finally realized it
was a poem that I Ashley Nicole had written before
she married Stephen, and I HAD, in fact, read it
before. I called her immedietly and said, "Sister,
can I put this on your and my Facebook?! It's
amAZING! Everybody should read this!!" She gave me
permission, and so here I am, posting it! I hope you
enjoy it and take it to heart as much as I did. It's
an amazing poem, and I'm really proud of Ashley for
not only writing an amazing poem that can rhyme and
sound good, but also a poem I totally agree with and
has a fabulous message. You're awesome, sister :)!!
I read this poem and thought not of the way all the girls I know could be encouraged by this poem, but also how all the guys I know should take a hint from this poem and treat the girls you know like the princess that they are. Because what if God's plan for us is to marry one particular girl, but we're insistent on pursuing another? Then we may have hurt our relationship with our future spouse, and we may also have messed up hers because of our selfishness. So, I guess another reason I like this poem so much is because it portrays the guy and the girl as a prince and a princess, which is a good way to think about it. A princess is special, and should be treated with the utmost care and respect. So would you make fun of a real princess? Or hurt her feelings with an uncaring or sarcastic remark that "isn't that big of a deal" (in your head)? Or are you going to get the door for her? I'm not saying look at every girl and say, "Is she the one, God?" (Or vice-versa for you girls.) What I'm suggesting is that you should treat every girl (or guy) with the most respect because he/she is a creation of God, and God loves her just as much as he loves you and me. Secondly, he/she will most likely end up marrying someone someday, and if it's not you, maybe you shouldn't act like it will be.
I talked with Ivan about this for quite a while, and he and I came to the conclusion that instead of looking at every person and saying, "Is she the one?" to God, just STOP looking and wait until God plops her in your lap, if that's his plan for you. It's better that way, anyway.
Ever Aftering
Ashley Nicole
Once upon a time, I've heard them say,
In a land that's not so far away,
A king with his daughter ruled in that place
With justice and kindness and mercy and grace,
The Princess herself was no beauty divine,
And her talents weren't especially fine.
But because her father was King of the land,
Every young noble desired her hand.
The Princess, however, was old fashioned it seemed.
She sat in her tower up high and she dreamed
Of The One, her Prince Charming, and who he might be,
She could hardly contain her excitement to see.
In seeking The One, she knew the King to be wise,
And so she approached him, looked into his eyes,
And said, "I want you to choose, out of all these men,
The Who, and the Why, and the Where, and the When."
Father I trust you, you know what is best,
And so I beseech you, get rid of the rest!"
The King agreed with much satisfaction
And he set about in taking some action.
But the King took his time as he searched high and low.
The Princess grew restless, began getting to know
A young Prince in the land who had caught her attention
With his charm and good looks, but he'd failed to mention
Whether he was as loyal as some to the King.
To him this didn't seem a very big thing.
The Princess herself had lost sight of her plans
To leave her decision in her Father's skilled hands.
Her hopes were quite high, her plans were in place,
When the Prince disappeared without any trace.
The Princess, desparing, went in to her Dad,
Her heart all in pieces, her countenance sad.
Her Father embraced her and patiently said,
"If you'll just wait on me, I will bring him instead."
The Princess resolved once again to remain,
And wait with her Father until The One came.
Through the course of her days with her Father the King,
The young suitors came, their offers to bring.
Most were passed over and sent right away,
Until only one was permitted to stay.
She got to know him, and they had lots of fun
The Princess was certain that this was The One.
But the King had an ultimate plan of his own,
The wisdom of which was yet to be shown.
So the Prince packed his bags and left her a note.
The Princess was saddened to read what he wrote.
Oh, how she was crushed, her heart disillusioned.
She came to the King once again in confusion.
"My Father, please tell me, just why this is so,
That he'd love me and leave me--or did you not know?"
"Oh, but my child, you don't understand.
His coming and going were part of my plan."
The Princess was humbled and left the King's sight,
To think and to wonder if he could be right.
She still was quite certain that never again
Could she offer her heart to another young man.
But it wasn't long before in through the door,
Up the wide staircase and across the wood floor,
There came a young Prince from far and away,
And the King, in his wisdom, asked him to stay.
He summoned his daughter and then introduced them.
The Princess watched from afar and admired him.
The two became friends, and it wasn't long after,
As the Princess and Prince were engaged with their laughter,
The King took her aside, whispered into her ear,
"I know this young Prince; you have nothing to fear.
I've chosen him out of the dozens who've come
To test and to see if he could be The One."
"But Father," the Princess said with a sigh,
"If he isn't then one, then why even try?"
"Because you won't know unless you obey.
Learn to trust and to listen to the things that I say.
Know that I only desire what is best,
Leave it to me; I'll take care of the rest."
The Princess nodded and pondered awhile,
Then she looked up, and she said with a smile,
"I trust you, my Father; I'll do what you say.
I'll move forward with this; I won't run away."
And so the fair Princess, free of fear and regret,
Smiled as she thought of the Prince she had met.
The King hadn't promised her it would be easy.
He'd said, "Follow me, tarry close and you'll see
That I only want what is best for my child,
So trust me, my Princess." As he said it, he smiled.
So the Princess, her heart now light and carefree,
Felt joy at the promise of what was to be.
Neither she nor the Prince would be able to tell
If things would be perfect and all turn out well
But they knew they could trust in the heart of their King,
The Sovereign Creator of Every Aftering.
I read this poem and thought not of the way all the girls I know could be encouraged by this poem, but also how all the guys I know should take a hint from this poem and treat the girls you know like the princess that they are. Because what if God's plan for us is to marry one particular girl, but we're insistent on pursuing another? Then we may have hurt our relationship with our future spouse, and we may also have messed up hers because of our selfishness. So, I guess another reason I like this poem so much is because it portrays the guy and the girl as a prince and a princess, which is a good way to think about it. A princess is special, and should be treated with the utmost care and respect. So would you make fun of a real princess? Or hurt her feelings with an uncaring or sarcastic remark that "isn't that big of a deal" (in your head)? Or are you going to get the door for her? I'm not saying look at every girl and say, "Is she the one, God?" (Or vice-versa for you girls.) What I'm suggesting is that you should treat every girl (or guy) with the most respect because he/she is a creation of God, and God loves her just as much as he loves you and me. Secondly, he/she will most likely end up marrying someone someday, and if it's not you, maybe you shouldn't act like it will be.
I talked with Ivan about this for quite a while, and he and I came to the conclusion that instead of looking at every person and saying, "Is she the one?" to God, just STOP looking and wait until God plops her in your lap, if that's his plan for you. It's better that way, anyway.
Ever Aftering
Ashley Nicole
Once upon a time, I've heard them say,
In a land that's not so far away,
A king with his daughter ruled in that place
With justice and kindness and mercy and grace,
The Princess herself was no beauty divine,
And her talents weren't especially fine.
But because her father was King of the land,
Every young noble desired her hand.
The Princess, however, was old fashioned it seemed.
She sat in her tower up high and she dreamed
Of The One, her Prince Charming, and who he might be,
She could hardly contain her excitement to see.
In seeking The One, she knew the King to be wise,
And so she approached him, looked into his eyes,
And said, "I want you to choose, out of all these men,
The Who, and the Why, and the Where, and the When."
Father I trust you, you know what is best,
And so I beseech you, get rid of the rest!"
The King agreed with much satisfaction
And he set about in taking some action.
But the King took his time as he searched high and low.
The Princess grew restless, began getting to know
A young Prince in the land who had caught her attention
With his charm and good looks, but he'd failed to mention
Whether he was as loyal as some to the King.
To him this didn't seem a very big thing.
The Princess herself had lost sight of her plans
To leave her decision in her Father's skilled hands.
Her hopes were quite high, her plans were in place,
When the Prince disappeared without any trace.
The Princess, desparing, went in to her Dad,
Her heart all in pieces, her countenance sad.
Her Father embraced her and patiently said,
"If you'll just wait on me, I will bring him instead."
The Princess resolved once again to remain,
And wait with her Father until The One came.
Through the course of her days with her Father the King,
The young suitors came, their offers to bring.
Most were passed over and sent right away,
Until only one was permitted to stay.
She got to know him, and they had lots of fun
The Princess was certain that this was The One.
But the King had an ultimate plan of his own,
The wisdom of which was yet to be shown.
So the Prince packed his bags and left her a note.
The Princess was saddened to read what he wrote.
Oh, how she was crushed, her heart disillusioned.
She came to the King once again in confusion.
"My Father, please tell me, just why this is so,
That he'd love me and leave me--or did you not know?"
"Oh, but my child, you don't understand.
His coming and going were part of my plan."
The Princess was humbled and left the King's sight,
To think and to wonder if he could be right.
She still was quite certain that never again
Could she offer her heart to another young man.
But it wasn't long before in through the door,
Up the wide staircase and across the wood floor,
There came a young Prince from far and away,
And the King, in his wisdom, asked him to stay.
He summoned his daughter and then introduced them.
The Princess watched from afar and admired him.
The two became friends, and it wasn't long after,
As the Princess and Prince were engaged with their laughter,
The King took her aside, whispered into her ear,
"I know this young Prince; you have nothing to fear.
I've chosen him out of the dozens who've come
To test and to see if he could be The One."
"But Father," the Princess said with a sigh,
"If he isn't then one, then why even try?"
"Because you won't know unless you obey.
Learn to trust and to listen to the things that I say.
Know that I only desire what is best,
Leave it to me; I'll take care of the rest."
The Princess nodded and pondered awhile,
Then she looked up, and she said with a smile,
"I trust you, my Father; I'll do what you say.
I'll move forward with this; I won't run away."
And so the fair Princess, free of fear and regret,
Smiled as she thought of the Prince she had met.
The King hadn't promised her it would be easy.
He'd said, "Follow me, tarry close and you'll see
That I only want what is best for my child,
So trust me, my Princess." As he said it, he smiled.
So the Princess, her heart now light and carefree,
Felt joy at the promise of what was to be.
Neither she nor the Prince would be able to tell
If things would be perfect and all turn out well
But they knew they could trust in the heart of their King,
The Sovereign Creator of Every Aftering.
Why I Like Work
02/16/07 11:01 AM
It seems to me that
people complain about their jobs a lot. While I do
enjoy shows like The Office, movies like Office
Space, and Hoops and YoYo e-cards from Hallmark about
how terrible working in an office and, even worse, a
cubicle is, I don't actually mind it myself. In fact,
I rather enjoy it! And maybe you think I'm crazy, but
that's OK... I probably am.
When I'm at work, I actually feel like I'm accomplish something; like I'm actually needed for something, and what I'm doing is important to somebody. Which is a good feeling!
At work, somehow I can forget about all my homework and the large amounts of studying which loom over me before I can fall asleep later in the evening. Instead I occupy my mind with my current project, or I just think about anything or anyone not reminding me of a school or homework. At my job I'm not allowed to do homework if they don't have anything else for me to do, so I just don't!! And I don't think about it either. I don't think about the test I have coming up, or the homework due tomorrow, or anything like that. I just think about my cube and the comics, valentine, and some ghostly white thing made out of Kleenex that I have hanging up in it!
Maybe this post shouldn't be called, "Why I Like Work," and it should really be called, "Why Work Is Better Than School." Work doesn't loom over you all week long, leaving you stuck in it's shadow. When I leave work, I leave all of my work. I don't take it home with me, and I generally don't think about it when I'm sitting at home... doing homework. Except sometimes I do think, "I wish I was at work..."
You make money at work. You pay money for school. End of discussion.
You work to accomplish a common goal with others around you at work. At school, you work to accomplish a good grade for... yourself. Sometimes in vain.
At school, if you miss a day because you're sick or something, you're expected to figure out everything you missed on yourself. You're generally told to "read your book" or "ask friends for notes." Well, Kirkwood isn't exactly the most social college in the world, so you don't necessarily HAVE friends in every class. And your book? Well... never let it be said a textbook actually explained something clearly!! At work, if you miss a day, your project may go on without you, OR it may wait for you! If it goes on without you, you will be informed what you missed, or you will at least be informed where to easily find this information.
At school you're expected to learn. At work you're exactly to know. However, if you don't know, you will be shown. (This is, of course, coming from the perspective of an intern.) If you still don't understand, they help you understand because your project may not be able to go on until you do. If you still don't understand at school, you just get a bad grade. (What happened to the days when teachers actually answered your questions?)
Overall, I think it has to do with a sense of belonging. Of course, not everyone works at a job that they enjoy. For some reason, some people actually choose a profession or job that they can't stand... I still haven't figured that one out. There are tons of jobs available out there, just choose one that interests you! Of course, I guess interests change. Currently, I'm interested in computer engineering, software engineering specifically. And I love my job because that's what I'm doing :)! I'm delegated tasks, I can accomplish them, if I can't I'm shown how; If I'm out sick for a day, it will be waiting for me when I get back. And I'm sure it missed me too.
In short, I like my job! I don't like school! Except Java and C++... I like them.
(Some of this may or may not have been sarcastic... except the part about not liking school. That was true. And I'm not anti-education or anything, I just don't like Kirkwood. I'm sure I'll love Cedarville :)!!)
When I'm at work, I actually feel like I'm accomplish something; like I'm actually needed for something, and what I'm doing is important to somebody. Which is a good feeling!
At work, somehow I can forget about all my homework and the large amounts of studying which loom over me before I can fall asleep later in the evening. Instead I occupy my mind with my current project, or I just think about anything or anyone not reminding me of a school or homework. At my job I'm not allowed to do homework if they don't have anything else for me to do, so I just don't!! And I don't think about it either. I don't think about the test I have coming up, or the homework due tomorrow, or anything like that. I just think about my cube and the comics, valentine, and some ghostly white thing made out of Kleenex that I have hanging up in it!
Maybe this post shouldn't be called, "Why I Like Work," and it should really be called, "Why Work Is Better Than School." Work doesn't loom over you all week long, leaving you stuck in it's shadow. When I leave work, I leave all of my work. I don't take it home with me, and I generally don't think about it when I'm sitting at home... doing homework. Except sometimes I do think, "I wish I was at work..."
You make money at work. You pay money for school. End of discussion.
You work to accomplish a common goal with others around you at work. At school, you work to accomplish a good grade for... yourself. Sometimes in vain.
At school, if you miss a day because you're sick or something, you're expected to figure out everything you missed on yourself. You're generally told to "read your book" or "ask friends for notes." Well, Kirkwood isn't exactly the most social college in the world, so you don't necessarily HAVE friends in every class. And your book? Well... never let it be said a textbook actually explained something clearly!! At work, if you miss a day, your project may go on without you, OR it may wait for you! If it goes on without you, you will be informed what you missed, or you will at least be informed where to easily find this information.
At school you're expected to learn. At work you're exactly to know. However, if you don't know, you will be shown. (This is, of course, coming from the perspective of an intern.) If you still don't understand, they help you understand because your project may not be able to go on until you do. If you still don't understand at school, you just get a bad grade. (What happened to the days when teachers actually answered your questions?)
Overall, I think it has to do with a sense of belonging. Of course, not everyone works at a job that they enjoy. For some reason, some people actually choose a profession or job that they can't stand... I still haven't figured that one out. There are tons of jobs available out there, just choose one that interests you! Of course, I guess interests change. Currently, I'm interested in computer engineering, software engineering specifically. And I love my job because that's what I'm doing :)! I'm delegated tasks, I can accomplish them, if I can't I'm shown how; If I'm out sick for a day, it will be waiting for me when I get back. And I'm sure it missed me too.
In short, I like my job! I don't like school! Except Java and C++... I like them.
(Some of this may or may not have been sarcastic... except the part about not liking school. That was true. And I'm not anti-education or anything, I just don't like Kirkwood. I'm sure I'll love Cedarville :)!!)